A Visual Prayer Guide for Your Husband (Present, Future or Ex)

“The prayer power has never been tried to its full capacity. If we want to see mighty wonders of divine power and grace wrought in the place of weakness, failure and disappointment, let us answer God’s standing challenge, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not!’” J. Hudson Taylor

Marriages are falling apart.

I want to Fight For My Marriage.

One way I can fight is through PRAYER.

My roommate in seminary had a prayer guide for her future husband. It was just a stick drawing of a man. There were lines at specific parts of the body to guide you in praying for your future spouse (from head to toe).

I have been wanting to make one as a guide for me, when praying for Justin.

I decided to use an old wedding picture. I added the specific requests and Scriptures to pray over him. I also added some for myself (specifically in being a godly wife).

I encourage you to make one. 

Prayer is not about us.

I need to tell myself that again… prayer is not about ME! It is about GOD. Do not lay your request before the Lord in a selfish way (asking the Lord to make your husband “perfect”).

I struggle in this area. Prayer is a way of you coming along side your husband (current, future or ex) and lifting him up to the LORD.

GOAL: Isaiah 26:8 – “Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.”

Single Ladies (yes, Beyonce’s song is playing in my head): draw a stick figure or pull a picture of a really good looking guy off the internet (kidding, kind of). Pray for your future husband.

Married Ladies: scan in an old wedding photo. I don’t ever want to lose the love and feeling I felt on one of the best days of my life. I want that love to grow deeper. A wedding photo is the best reminder.

Divorced Ladies: Prayer is powerfully healing and a powerful tool for allowing forgiveness. I recommend you praying for your ex. Especially if you have kids.

Make it specific to what the Lord lays on your heart. Keep it in your Bible or frame it.

Here is what I made. I used Photoshop, but you can use any software that allows you to add text to pictures. Paint.net is free and works pretty good. I printed it out on my printer. I used 5×7 photo paper. You can also take a picture and a sharpie and write out your guide.

I have the specifics listed below.

Here are some things I pray over Justin and myself.

Justin:

Wisdom: Leading & Parenting, Proverbs 4:5-7

Mind: Purity, Fear God & Lead with Integrity, Philippians 4:8, Nehemiah 7:2

Ears: Hear and Obey God, James 1:22

Mouth: Grace, Kindness, Clearly proclaim Gospel, Colossians 4:3-6

Heart: Peace & Purity, Colossians 3:15, Matthew 5:8

Hands: Hard Working, Proverbs 21:5

Feet: Protect, Bless, Guide, Romans 10:15, Psalm 119:105

Specifics: These are prayer request you know or he has specifically shared with you. If you don’t know any… ask him.

For me… I noted key areas where I struggle GREATLY and often FAIL. (I need alot of help! I’m thankful for God’s grace!)

Eyes: Protect, Romans 13:14

Mind: Imagination, Set above, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Colossians 3:2

Mouth: Kindness, Respect, Encouragement, Proverbs 31: 12, 26

Heart: Undivided, Psalm 86:11 (My life verse)

Hands: Diligent, Proverbs 31:17

Specifics: Fight Selfishness. Show me sin and changes I need to make. Be a true helpmate. Wisdom in parenting. To love and respect him.. deeper and more than I did in this photo.

Overall prayer: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” Eph. 3:20

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS: Part 2 of 2

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS:
(in no particular order)

Part 2 of 2:

6. Stop obsessive seeking: Learn to trust that God knows whom you should be with if its in His will for you to marry, and trust that He will bring you two together when His time is right. Stop looking at every member of the opposite sex as a potential mate to be run through the evaluation mill, and at every member of the same sex as competition. Those attitudes can end up leading you into constant disappointment, jealousy, and dissatisfaction. While you're at it, avoid being a ‘blind shooter' jumping around from field to field with the desperate belief that the more ‘options' you have the better your chances of finding ‘the one'. God knows who that one will be; you don't need to meet hundreds of men/women to find him/her. Trust Him.

7. Use this time to prepare yourself for marriage: If you are seeking to marry a Godly Christian, strive to be the type of person that you would want to marry. There may be qualities/traits or areas in your life that God will need to refine and work in before you will be ready for marriage. Be open to God's direction and strive to hear His voice and to stay in tune with His will.

8. Spend daily time in Bible study and prayer: Again on the issue of time, as a person who is single, you're probably blessed with more undisturbed time and have fewer distractions than does the mother or father who has two or three children potentially entering the room at any time. Take advantage of the time you have been given and do some serious Bible study, enjoy longer undisturbed prayer times - try becoming a prayer warrior and interceding on behalf of others (this too is a great way to keep from becoming self-focused on your own loneliness or needs)

9. Pray regularly for your future spouse: Sure you may not know them or their needs, but God does. Statistically speaking, chances are strong you will marry one day, and your future spouse is out there somewhere. How awesome to think that although miles and years may separate you at this time, God knows and sees you both! You will spend the rest of your life praying with and for this person, so why not start now? Pray that God will meet his/her needs (God knows what they are), pray for growth in that person's faith, for their strength to stand up boldly for the truth, and for their courage and strength to remain sexually pure and avoid to temptation.... etc. You can also pray that God might be preparing both of you for your marriage and for His will to be done.

10. Above all: Remember your first love: Use this time in your life to learn to truly love God above all else. Only once you are able to love God and be satisfied in Him alone will you be able to reciprocate that love and love someone else with the unconditional love He gives you. Only God's love can truly satisfy your personal need for love.

CONCLUSION: Enjoying your singleness doesn't mean having to resort yourself to a lifetime of it, it only means being happy during the time it's here.

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS: Part 1 of 2

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS
(in no particular order)

Part 1 of 2:

1. Stay busy! You won't have time to sit and mope about how lonely you are if you stay active and put your time to doing something useful and positive. Learn to see this time of singleness as a blessing, not as a curse or a trial to be endured.

2. Try something new: People who are married and have families need to devote a lot of time to them. Despite your homework or work schedule, at this time in your life you are blessed with a lot more free time to do things outside of the home than you will ever have again. Enjoy it! Take on a new hobby, join a good cause, go on a short term mission...

3. Be spontaneous: Along with extra time comes the time to do more things on the spur of the moment. Yours is the only schedule to plan around. Go out with a friend at amoment's notice, stay up all night in a coffee shop (it's good practice - you'll end up pulling all nighters later in life once the baby comes, anyhow), hop in a car and drive to the next province or state with your buddies... Schedules and plans, once you are married, will have to made by two and often well in advance. The degree of potential spontaneity you have now is temporary. Treasure it!

4. Stop hanging out with only the married: You all used to hang out together when you were single, then one by one your ‘gang' marries, and you are left single. You try to hang out with them, but end up feeling like an odd ball since you're the only one in the group with no hand to hold and nothing to add to the discussions that too often circle around ‘couple issues'... It's your train to misery unless you switch tracks! Don't abandon your married friends all together - you may be among them some day; but be sure to balance your life with like-minded single friends.

5. Join a group for single Christian adults: If your church doesn't have one, find a church that does, or start one. Keeping your social life active will keep you from taking a self-pity trip to 'No-Spouse Bluesville'. While a young adult group may in fact become your ticket to ending your singleness, don't let this become your priority. Start enjoying the friendships God has blessed you with, both male and female, and seek out ways that you can be a blessing and encouragement to them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

CONCLUSION: Enjoy this time God has blessed you with; statistically speaking, if you are like most people, it will not last forever.

My Daughters: ~ Sapna Anu B. George

My Daughters:
~ Sapna Anu B. George

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I found him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped you... I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful daughter. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes... don't change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I've held your heart close to mine.

You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God. So man... treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 5 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 5 of 5:

Create a Conscious Relationship:

People fall into roles unconsciously, but you can make decisions to change, even about something as simple as who always takes out the trash. So much of what goes on is unconscious; look instead at the possibilities that exist in the relationship. Having a Conscious Relationship means relating to self through another person. That means that the other person becomes a mirror and constant source of feedback.

It’s important to talk with each other about what kind of relationship you BOTH want. The synergistic energy created when two come together is the perfect tool to work through all these old negative patterns of behavior. Two, working and living in harmony, are a powerful energy for change.

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 4 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 4 of 5:

Technique #4:

Avoid Competition in Marriage:

Couples often get into competition over who has the better deal, but a competitive attitude can damage a relationship. Rather than argue over who gets to do more, think about the relationship as a whole, work as a team.

It’s important to develop compassion and empathy for your partner. Acknowledge the other; you can always find good in the other person.

An important tool to help develop empathy is to think about your spouse's family of origin. Sometimes it’s easier to understand why someone is frugal, for example, knowing that he or she grew up poor or in a household where the parents always fought about finances.

Work as a team instead of in competition with each other!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 3 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 3 of 5:

Technique #3:

Listen to Your Partner
No one knows you better than your partner. If he or she says that you engage in a particular behavior (complaining, gossiping, snoring) at least consider the possibility.

“Don’t get defensive,” said John. “You married your partner for a reason and (your partner has) something to offer you.”

Listening to each other also provides a couple with a system of checks and balances, according to the Kaplans. Opposites attract, and each person in the relationship offers the other the opportunity to grow in the very ways that are most needed. By holding each other accountable, couples have the opportunity to receive feedback from the people they know and trust the most.

LIKE if you are a good listener!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 2 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 2 of 5:

Technique #2

Differentiation in Marriage Is Key:

Relationships are made of individuals, with their own unique personalities, backgrounds and habits. But people sometimes complain about their spouse's differences, leading to hurt feelings and simmering resentment.

“It’s the error of assumed similarity,” said John. “We make the mistake that because I like this, you like this. Couples do this, particularly with sex, all the time.”

The key is to not only recognize your partner’s differences, but to love him or her for who he or she is. “Stop looking for what is not there and love what is there,” said Gail. For example, instead of being annoyed because your partner does things differently than you, compliment him or her on something they do well. Do not focus on the negative. Add some positivity!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 1 of 5

‎5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage:
Part 1 of 5:

Acceptance, generosity and adult conversation aren't extras in a marriage. They're essential tools to keep partners focused on one another.
Married couples need to honor one another in order to keep their bond strong. John Kaplan, LICSW, is a social worker focusing on helping couples improve and strengthen their relationships. John and his wife, Gail, LMHC, a nurse and mental health counselor, are the co-directors of Marriage Labs, a psycho-educational program for couples. According to the Kaplans, five tips for a strong marriage involve acceptance of one another’s differences and making conscious choices about how to relate to one another.

Technique #1

You Can Only Change Yourself

“Most people (in couples therapy) want to talk about how awful the other person is,” “They expect that the other person should change. We tell them to focus on themselves.”

She suggests that each member of the couple write down three things to do differently in order to improve the relationship. Simple changes, such as choosing not to nag your partner about a persistent annoyance, can make a big difference. Are you willing to change?

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 4 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating

Part 4 of 4:

The Difference in Methods:

Most practically, modern dating and biblical courtship are different in their methods. And this is where the rubber really meets the road. In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.

According to the current school of thought, the best way to figure out whether you want to marry a particular person is to act as if you are married and see if you like it. Spend large amounts of time alone together. Become each other's primary emotional confidantes. Share your deepest secrets and desires. Get to know that person better than anyone else in your life. Grow your physical intimacy and intensity on the same track as your emotional intimacy. What you do and say together is private and is no one else's business, and since the relationship is private, you need not submit to anyone else's authority or be accountable. And if this pseudo-marriage works for both of you, then get married. But if one or both of you do not like how it is going, go ahead and break up even if it means going through something like an emotional and probably physical divorce.

Such is the process of finding "the one," and this can happen with several different people before one finally marries. In the self-centered world of secular dating, we want as much information as possible to ensure that the right decision is being made. And if we can enjoy a little physical or emotional comfort along the way, great.

Clearly, this is not the biblical picture. The process just described is hurtful to the woman that the man purports to care about, not to mention to himself. And it clearly violates the command of 1 Thessalonians 4:6 not to wrong or defraud our sisters in Christ by implying a marriage-level commitment where one does not exist. It will have a damaging effect on the man's marriage and hers, whether they marry each other or not.

In a Biblical relationship, commitment precedes intimacy. Within this model, the man should follow the admonition in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 to treat all young women to whom he is not married as sisters, with absolute purity. The man should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by defining the nature and the pace of the relationship. He should do this before spending significant time alone with her in order to avoid hurting or confusing her.

He should also seek to ensure that a significant amount of time is spent with other couples or friends rather than alone. The topics, manner, and frequency of conversations should be characterized by the desire to become acquainted with each other more deeply, but not in a way that defrauds each other. There should be no physical intimacy outside the context of marriage, and the couple should seek accountability for the spiritual health and progress of the relationship, as well as for their physical and emotional intimacy.

Within this model, both parties should seek to find out, before God, whether they should be married, and whether they can service and honor God better together than apart. The man should take care not to treat any woman like his wife who is not his wife. Of course he must get to know his courting partner well enough to make a decision on marriage.

In all these ways, a biblical relationship looks different from a worldly relationship. If this is done well, Christian women will be honored, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honored and God will be glorified!

We pray someone was inspired, educated and determined to make a change for Jesus.

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 3 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating
 
Part 3 of 4:

The Difference in Mind-set:

The second major difference between biblical courtship and modern dating is the mind-set couples have when interacting with one another. What is meant by that? Modern dating is essentially a selfish endeavor. We do not mean maliciously selfish, as in "I'm going to try to hurt you for my benefit." Meaning an oblivious self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about SELF. After all, what is the main question everyone asks about dating, falling in love, and getting married? "How do I know if I've found the one?" The unspoken ending to that question is "For me." Will this person make me happy? Will this relationship meet my needs? Have I done as well as I can do? All questions based on SELF.

Selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, and therefore should not be what drives a biblical courtship. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3, NIV). It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians 5:25 gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. That means loving sacrificially every day.

Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that his every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her - a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.

In other words, modern dating asks, "How can I find the one for me?" Biblical courtship asks, "How can I be the one God has chosen for her?"

Courtship vs. Dating : Part 2 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating

Part 2 of 4

The Difference in Motive:

The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34- 35).

Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple - always with marriage in view. We are not advocating arranged marriages; rather, pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.

Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is NONE. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? ZERO. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 1 of 4

Courtship vs Dating Series

In a 4 part series, we will discuss the definition, the difference in motives, mind-set and methods of each.

Part 1 of 4

Defining Courtship and Dating:

Let's begin by defining courtship. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal.

What then is dating? Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more- than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Casual dating is a romantic linking of a couple simply to enjoy each other's company for the present. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal.

Your thoughts?

(materials taken from the Singles Ministry studies of Mt. Zion Church)

One woman’s perspective of Love

One woman’s perspective of Love

You're my husband, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,

You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,

You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,

You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my husband, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.

- Nima Akbari -

Your Name

Your Name - Jessica Blade

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
God wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.


Thank you Lord!

My Gift From God

My Gift From God

Love is like a lump of gold,
Hard to get, and hard to hold.
Of all the girls I've ever met,
You're the one I can't forget.
I do believe that God above,
Created you for me to love.
He chose you for me from all the rest,
Because he knew I would love you best.

- Loy Bowman -

TRUST

TRUST

Trust is probably the most important ingredient in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife. Trust is something that must be cultivated and nurtured.

We can sum up the essence of building trust in one idea: Create a safe emotional space for your spouse. If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, than you are probably building an unsafe one. If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, then you are probably building an unsafe one.

To promote trust is to consciously strive everyday to build a safe emotional space.

A couple of guidelines for creating a safe emotional space:

Constantly work on improving your communication skills.

Develop the skill of being a good listener, which is one of the hardest skills to develop.
Being a good listener means you don't interrupt your spouse. This requires great discipline and respect. Learn to ask, "Are you finished?" Always make sure you've fully understood what the other person has said.
A simple tool to use for this is the well known "mirroring technique." You reflect back what the other person has said. It may sound a bit contrived but, believe me, it really works. What you have to learn to do is say something like, "Let me make sure that I've understood what you just said. It sounded to me that you want me to..."

When a person feels he or she cannot express their needs to the other person, then this leads to a break down in trust.
We often don't express our needs for two reasons. Either we are afraid of rejection or we are afraid of feeling ashamed for having such needs.

When a couple can express and meet each other's needs consistently this is one of the most powerful ways to build trust in a relationship.

C.A.R.E. (The Foundation for a Godly Marriage and Home!)

C.A.R.E. (The Foundation for a Godly Marriage and Home!)

Contributed by Rev. Joseph Gerkin

Godly marriages and homes are built upon more than a few nice things or thoughts. There's a major "COST" involved...it doesn't just happen. God gives us some "building blocks" for Godly marriages and homes. They're found in Ephesians 4:32.

C-OST: ("tender-hearted") A "tenderhearted" person is one who is affectionate and takes a compassionate interest in others...and is willing to assist in bearing their burdens. Our first instinct or nature is that everything is to "evolve" around us...not others.. (Which do you find "dominate" in your life and relationships? Selfishness or Selflessness?)

A-LERT: ("kind") A "kind" person is one who has an unselfish concern for the welfare of others and a desire to understand and care for the needs of others even at great personal sacrifice. I'm not sure who said this profound statement...but...it's sure a powerful truth. "People don't really care what we know until they know that we care!" A major part of "kindness" is a willingness to be alert too... and understanding of...the needs and hurts of others.

R-EALISTIC: ("forgiving") A "forgiving" person is one who has a readiness to pardon offenses...to overlook personal wrongs against oneself...and a willingness to harbor no desire for retaliation. Remember - "unrealistic expectations" can kill a marriage and destroy a home.

E-AMPLE: ("even as God in Christ forgave you") An "example" is a person or thing to be imitated... a model...a pattern! The greatest "example" of One who forgives is God Himself. And we are unworthy objects. The greatest thing a father or mother can do for their children... or for anyone else watching... is to be passionately in love with our mates. It can't...won't happen...UNTIL we truly come to grips with just how much God has...in and through Christ Jesus...forgiven us!

Let's continue to ask God to make our marriages and homes a "living testimony and example" of what His mercy and love can do for believers willing to simply trust in Him? We just need to C.A.R.E.!

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 6

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #6 - INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: "After you're married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?" And I usually follow-up by saying, "And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?"

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.
Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are feeding the hungry together, attending church together, or preparing a meal together.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 5

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #5 - CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear -- or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other. Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.
Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect -- by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it's a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who "turn away" from each other don't develop closeness.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.