TRUST

TRUST

Trust is probably the most important ingredient in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife. Trust is something that must be cultivated and nurtured.

We can sum up the essence of building trust in one idea: Create a safe emotional space for your spouse. If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, than you are probably building an unsafe one. If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, then you are probably building an unsafe one.

To promote trust is to consciously strive everyday to build a safe emotional space.

A couple of guidelines for creating a safe emotional space:

Constantly work on improving your communication skills.

Develop the skill of being a good listener, which is one of the hardest skills to develop.
Being a good listener means you don't interrupt your spouse. This requires great discipline and respect. Learn to ask, "Are you finished?" Always make sure you've fully understood what the other person has said.
A simple tool to use for this is the well known "mirroring technique." You reflect back what the other person has said. It may sound a bit contrived but, believe me, it really works. What you have to learn to do is say something like, "Let me make sure that I've understood what you just said. It sounded to me that you want me to..."

When a person feels he or she cannot express their needs to the other person, then this leads to a break down in trust.
We often don't express our needs for two reasons. Either we are afraid of rejection or we are afraid of feeling ashamed for having such needs.

When a couple can express and meet each other's needs consistently this is one of the most powerful ways to build trust in a relationship.

C.A.R.E. (The Foundation for a Godly Marriage and Home!)

C.A.R.E. (The Foundation for a Godly Marriage and Home!)

Contributed by Rev. Joseph Gerkin

Godly marriages and homes are built upon more than a few nice things or thoughts. There's a major "COST" involved...it doesn't just happen. God gives us some "building blocks" for Godly marriages and homes. They're found in Ephesians 4:32.

C-OST: ("tender-hearted") A "tenderhearted" person is one who is affectionate and takes a compassionate interest in others...and is willing to assist in bearing their burdens. Our first instinct or nature is that everything is to "evolve" around us...not others.. (Which do you find "dominate" in your life and relationships? Selfishness or Selflessness?)

A-LERT: ("kind") A "kind" person is one who has an unselfish concern for the welfare of others and a desire to understand and care for the needs of others even at great personal sacrifice. I'm not sure who said this profound statement...but...it's sure a powerful truth. "People don't really care what we know until they know that we care!" A major part of "kindness" is a willingness to be alert too... and understanding of...the needs and hurts of others.

R-EALISTIC: ("forgiving") A "forgiving" person is one who has a readiness to pardon offenses...to overlook personal wrongs against oneself...and a willingness to harbor no desire for retaliation. Remember - "unrealistic expectations" can kill a marriage and destroy a home.

E-AMPLE: ("even as God in Christ forgave you") An "example" is a person or thing to be imitated... a model...a pattern! The greatest "example" of One who forgives is God Himself. And we are unworthy objects. The greatest thing a father or mother can do for their children... or for anyone else watching... is to be passionately in love with our mates. It can't...won't happen...UNTIL we truly come to grips with just how much God has...in and through Christ Jesus...forgiven us!

Let's continue to ask God to make our marriages and homes a "living testimony and example" of what His mercy and love can do for believers willing to simply trust in Him? We just need to C.A.R.E.!

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 6

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #6 - INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: "After you're married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?" And I usually follow-up by saying, "And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?"

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.
Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are feeding the hungry together, attending church together, or preparing a meal together.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 5

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #5 - CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear -- or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other. Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.
Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect -- by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it's a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who "turn away" from each other don't develop closeness.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 4

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #4 - USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the "listener-speaker technique." The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here's how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully "heard," do you then proceed to problem solving.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 3

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #3 - CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It's common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 2

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #2 - CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

 

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following "greeting ritual" at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, "Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!"

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a "date night" at least every other week.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 1

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #1 - GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal -- which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?"

To monitor how you're doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

Preparing for a Godly Marriage

Preparing for a Godly Marriage:

Preparing for a Godly marriage is a process. Your mind has to be in the right place. Time should be spent studying the Bible and Biblically inspired books to find out what God has to say about marriage. Now should be the time that you prepare yourself for marriage. Don't wait until Mr./Ms. Right gets here. Begin now. Get everything in order...home, finances, health, mind, relationship with the Lord. Clean your house. Get rid of those things that you no longer use or are out dated. If you're not doing so, start a savings account. If you have any debts, pay them down. Get a physical. Make sure your health is in order.

Ask the Lord to prepare your mind for marriage. Take your mind off yourself. Once you're married, it won't be about you anymore. You will become "we." Put the Lord first. Spend time with Him daily. Make it a priority to keep Him first even after you're married. Be the person that you want to marry. If you know that you want to marry a good thing, then know that they do too, so get you're act together. Don't set such high expectations for them that you don't meet yourself. Think about what you're bringing to the table.

Please share with anyone you know seeking a Godly marriage!

All I have to Give

Today is Malaysia's Independence Day. I woke up early and spent some quiet time. Thereafter, I counted the books I bought from BookFest 2011 yesterday. Wow, I bought 18 books all together, hope I will spend time to read all :)

I on my laptop to transfer musics to the pendrive, so that I could listen in the car. In the meantime, I checked on FB and found this :-

My heart was touched when I read this and this is also my inner voice to the person I love [whoever he is in the future :)]. Let me share it here earlier, and later on share it with "him" :p

ALL I HAVE TO GIVE

Author: Cara G. Stanfield

You're the first thing I think of

Each morning when I rise.

You're the last thing I think of

Each night when I close my eyes.

You're in each thought I have

And every breath I take.

My feelings are growing stronger

With every move I make.

I want to prove I love you

But that's the hardest part.

So, I'm giving all I have to give

To you... I give my Godly heart.

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 4 of 4

Part 4 of 4

Let's be friends! – This is an important dating tip to remember. Don't forget that until you are married the person you are dating could be some one else's future mate. Remember God knows just who we are supposed to marry and every person we get to know is not that person. People are put in our lives for a different reasons.

Tip #4 Take your time, no need to rush into anything!
Use your time as a single person to strengthen your walk with God!

When you begin dating someone there is a lot of pressure to move things along much too quickly. We tend to get emotionally involved and emotions can lead to physical affections. Choose to keep your relationship on a friendship level. The longer you can remain "just friends", the more time you have to really get to know each other. The more you know about each other, the better the understanding of your purpose to each other should become. Is this the person God has chosen for you? Use this time to allow God to speak to your heart. Sometimes we force things upon ourselves instead of waiting for Him.

Spiritual Reference:
1Corinthians 7:1 - "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman."


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 3 of 4

Part 3 of 4

Let’s examine why knowing one's personality traits are important in Christian dating. It will simply help you to answer this question, "What shall we do on our dates?" If you go into this question discussed seriously with your Christian dating partner, you can have lots of fun and avoid ungodly pitfalls.

Tip #3 – Take note of Personality Traits (It's a part of their attitude towards life and you)

Basic Traits to look for:

Wholesome Attitude of Give and Take (you don’t want someone trying to dominate or control you)

Thoughtfuness and Consideration toward others (Someone with such traits understand your walk with Christ and respects your decisions because of it.)

Attitude of Sharing Hardships & Joys (You must be able to support one another during the dating phase. Not just sharing the good but support during the difficult times.)

*Notice all of the things we are seeking are within, not on the outside.

Spiritual Reference:
1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV) - But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 2 of 4

Part 2 of 4

As single Christians on the dating scene, you need to understand the causes for failure and the essentials in your partner such as their personality traits, character traits, mental health and most important than these, their walk with God for martial success.

Tip #2 – Pay Attention to Character

When you select a dating mate as a potential marriage partner, you are choosing far more than a bed buddy and companion for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent building enterprise who will be among other things: the other parent, have access to your bank accounts and credit, and most importantly, intimate access to your innermost thoughts and feelings, hopes and plans, ambitions and aspiration. Chew on that one for a moment, can we really afford to overlook character?

Spiritual Reference:
Proverbs 11:3 - The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. (NIV)


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 1 of 4

Part 1 of 4

Where better to find free Christian dating advice than in the BIBLE? More powerful than any Christian dating guide and tips, the bible is filled with much wisdom, able to transform you into the most attractive person from the inside out!

Is your idea of Christian dating influenced by some man made Christian dating guide and are you are merely settling for someone who calls himself or herself a Christian? Are you that person that have been going from one Christian dating service to another hoping to find the soul mate whom you have been hoping for? If so, this series is for you.

Tip #1 – Date a Believer

One of the biggest concerns for single Christians today is the willingness to date an unbeliever or date someone who calls them self a Christian. That’s a person who has a form of godliness but lack the power thereof. You know the person who has an external form of religion, but no presence and power of God in their daily walk, talk or actions!

Spiritual Reference:
2 Timothy 3:5 “Having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” (NIV)


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011

The Christian Single Man: Tip 5

Tip 5
Do What Is Right

Marriage requires a person to be moral. Before getting married one must be mature enough to know what is right and what is wrong. He or she must be willing to live a life that follows what is right. If a person wants to continue to do things that are wrong, that person is not ready to get married.

Before getting married a man should be willing to give up living in a manner that is not right. He should be willing to give up any sinful behavior. When a husband and wife have children, they become examples to their children.

Before getting married, a man must be mature enough to remain faithful to one woman. One should be mature enough to control his behavior. Both husband and wife should be willing to follow the ways of the Lord.

James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 27th August 2011

The Christian Single Man: Tip 4

Tip 4
Give Up Childish Ways

I Corinthians 13:11 The apostle Paul wrote, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." We must be emotionally prepared before we can hope to be happily married.

As a child grows it develops love for the mother and later for the father. People who do not grow beyond this stage never see anything in this world more important than themselves and their parents. Anyone with such an attitude is not ready to be joined to a husband or wife. When such a person marries, the spouse finds that their mate will be constantly returning to parents instead of leaving father and mother as the Lord has commanded.

Emotional maturity is necessary for a successful marriage. When a man learns to love a woman more than any other person on the earth while loving God even more, then he is emotionally mature enough to marry.

Love is not just a warm feeling that a person has for someone else. The Bible teaches us that love is an attitude where another person's needs are placed ahead of our own. Love is willing to sacrifice. Love is not selfish.

(I Corinthians 13:4-8.) A loving person is patient. A loving person is kind. A loving person is not jealous and does not envy. A loving person is not boastful. A loving person is not filled with pride. A loving person is not rude. A loving person is not interested only in himself or herself. A loving person controls the temper. A loving person does not hold grudges or remember insults. A loving person is not happy when someone else does wrong. A loving person is happy when the truth wins. A loving person never quits loving. A loving person always trusts. A loving person always hopes for the best. A loving person always keeps on going. Love lasts forever.

Let us remember that a successful marriage requires preparation. Before getting married, people must be prepared physically, morally, spiritually, economically, and emotionally.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 27th August 2011

The Christian Man: Tip 3

Tip 3
Intimate Discipline

If we are honest with ourselves, we understand this tip. Sex is all around us and the world is expecting us to be a part of it and honestly, it's not always easy.

To prepare for a Godly marriage, means you must abstain from intimate impurity, fornication, homosexuality, self-service, and so on (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Premarital sex can damage your foundation and future. If you have a problem with lust, you must deal with it while you are single (Galatians 5:16). This is not a problem you want to carry into your marriage.

If you've made mistakes in the past (none of us are perfect), now is the time to repent and ask God for forgiveness (1 John 1:9-10, 2:1-2). Now is the time to discipline yourself and be a good example for your future family.

In order to prepare, action must take place. Your actions should reflect God's word. Any activity that promotes such impurities need to be cut off. You know what I'm talking about (X-rated materials: movies, magazines, music, books, websites, etc).

We must channel these energies into worthwhile pursuits (career, business, sports, skills acquisition, training, academics, reading, etc.) to minimize idleness and wandering minds. Brothers, God created sex as a blessing for marriage, not outside it.

The one thing that God desires most from us is our obedience. God wants us to glorify Him by the way we use our bodies. If you have truly been washed in Christ's blood, then you should no longer be living for yourself, but instead you should be living to glorify God.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 27th August 2011

The Single Christian Man: Tip 2

Tip 2
Character Development:

Character simply means moral strength or weakness. It is the special way in which you feel, think or act. It is all about moral firmness, self-control, and integrity displayed in your life experiences. Be honest (A wise husband is honest - Proverbs 29:24).

There is also a lesson for us to learn from Proverbs about the matter of personality. As Christians we should not be more concerned about personality than character. God is not nearly as concerned with our personality as He is with our character.

Let us learn that our character is far more important than our outward appearance or personality.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 27th August 2011

The Single Christian Man: Tip 1

Brothers, marriage is a big responsibility. It is not a tea party. It is not a role for boys, it is for men. The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband and father. That model is the "servant/leader."

Let's examine how we can prepare for that role. Here are 5 Tips to get you started:

Tip 1:
You must prepare for Headship

Headship in marriage is what makes the man tick. It is what makes him a man.
Headship is not about you having a woman to bully, oppress, harass, or turn into a slave.
Headship is a call to selfless service, love, loyalty, and nurturing your wife to be the best that she can be!
Headship is about maturity. Boys don't get married, men do.
Headship is responsibility - it is not a role for the wayward, irresponsible or unserious.
Headship is spiritual leadership 1 Cor 11:3. The man must know God well, in order to direct his family well.

How can a man prepare for Headship?
Being financially empowered. Money is a very important aspect of marriage. Please don't belittle the importance of money in marriage. As a man, you are expected to provide for your family. You are to provide money for food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, family upkeep, children's school fees, etc. That means you must have a source of income; either a job or business. You must have a vision, be energetic, hard working, ambitious, result-oriented, effective, and empowered for success.

Thanking my male contributors for this series and information.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 26th August 2011

The Single Christian Woman: Step 7

Step 7: Pray for a Discerning Spirit

We have already mentioned prayer, but you can never pray too much (prayer is always in order). This time, our prayers are specific for discernment so we can recognize our prince when he comes.

Or more importantly, recognize the frogs as they arrive. Unfortunately, most of us encounter a few frogs before meeting our prince, so it’s critical to understand the difference.

To discern is to be able to separate the things of God from the things of the world or to distinguish between good and evil. Now this has nothing to do with what he looks like, but rather looking to his heart and his spirit.

As Christian single women we must realize that everyone that demands our attention does not deserve our attention. Just because a man requests your phone number does not mean he deserves to have it.

Here is a spiritual reference to think about: John 15:5, Jesus says “…He who abides in Me and I in Him, bears much fruit.” There should clearly be some evidence that this man is spending some time with God and bearing fruit for God. If not, just move on.

Pray and ask God for discernment, then act accordingly.

God’s desire to reveal will always be greater than your desire to know. Seek His guidance in your decision making always.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 26th August 2011

The Single Christian Woman: Step 6

Step 6: Pause

Pause or wait on God. Philippians 4:6 clearly states, be anxious for nothing and pray about everything. God knows your desire, but more importantly He knows and loves you. Know that He has not forgotten about you, He’s just working things out for you.

Have you ever wanted something really bad and you prayed and prayed for it, but when you got it you realized it wasn’t all that great? Most times in these cases, we finagle our way to get the thing rather than accepting God’s no or waiting for God’s best.

Please don’t do that with marriage, wait on God. Who knows better how to prepare you for marriage than the One who designed marriage?

In this fast paced world, take time to pause and make sure you’re making choices that are pleasing and honoring to God in every area of your life.

The Single Christian Man coming soon! Got some brothers in Christ working diligently on this for you.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 26th August 2011

The Single Christian Woman: Step 5

Step 5: Perceive

It’s quite easy to be focused on the glorious day when you will marry the one that Christ has for you, but don’t lose sight of the here and now. Just because God is preparing you for marriage does not mean we are to do nothing in the meantime.

Ask God what it is He would have you to do during your time of singleness. You need to understand (or perceive) this so that you do not remain idle. My grandmother always said, 'an idle mind is the devil’s playground'.

Just as you will when you’re married, you have an assignment and a ministry in your singleness. Could it be that you’re not progressing towards marriage because you’re not completing the task at hand?

TIP
A mature Christian seeks God’s will and wisdom daily.

God has a purpose and a plan for each of our lives, so we need to seek His face and ask Him to reveal His plan for us during this season. There is work to be done, so you can rest assured that your role is not just sitting around waiting to be married. Perceive who God is to you, get to know Him better and serve Him wholeheartedly during your season of singleness.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 25th August 2011

The Christian Single Woman: Step 4

Step 4: Praise

Why do we always wait until we see the blessing to praise God? If you believe in your heart that God has promised you a husband, then thank Him for the one He is preparing just for you. Praise God in your waiting and thank Him for the lessons He’s teaching you and how He’s maturing you.

Sometimes it takes being all alone to understand who God is and to develop a relationship with Him so never regret the time spent just getting to know Him.

Also rejoice with others. I know this can be difficult for a lot of single women, but when God blesses one of your friends with a God-fearing husband, rejoice!

TIP
Rejoice, your blessing is on the way!

For one, a Christian marriage is a blessing and we ought to rejoice when we see the blessings of the Lord. Secondly, know that the same God that blesses them, blesses you. Praise God for how He’s growing and maturing you and rejoice when you see God blessing others.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 25th August 2011

The Christian Single Woman: Step 3

Step 3: Practice

Yes, it’s true, during this time of singleness there are some freedoms that married women no longer have. However, that is not to say we should be footloose and fancy free. In fact, the opposite is true. We can and should be practicing submission. Yes, the ‘S’ word.

Submission has gotten a bad rep over the years (often because I Peter chapter 3 is misunderstood), but every child of God should be submitted to Him. Submission is all about yielding in love.

God has designated that the man is the head and as such the woman is to be submitted unto him. Single women need to understand that submission is not so much about submitting to your husband, but rather about submitting to God’s design for marriage.

There is much more pressure on the man since he is held responsible, which is all the more reason why you should be praying for him. Remember the story of Adam and Eve. Even though Eve is the one that actually took a bite out of the fruit, God called out to Adam for an account and response (Genesis 3:9).

God’s Word tells us our role in marriage and you can choose to obey or not. However, it would be worthwhile to practice during this time. God is your husband for now. Seek His guidance and ask His permission before doing or committing to various activities.

TIP
Jesus Christ is our ultimate example of submission, He submitted to His Father’s will for us. (Matthew 26:39).

Practice submission now with God, so you can discover the joy of God’s plan and learn to view it as a positive.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 25th August 2011

The Christian Single Woman: Step 2

Step 2: Prepare

Your family & friends are your training ground for marriage. You must train yourself to model Christ now to those most familiar and close to so you will be great at it when you get married.

Think of it this way: We can’t treat our family & friends poorly and then assume once we say ‘I do’ we will all of a sudden know how to treat our spouse.

Family is like our practice field. We take into our future marriage what we learn in our life with them here and now. If we learn to snub or disown those closest to us now, we’re setting patterns for broken trust and emotional heartache in the future.

If we train ourselves now to be verbally abusive to our family members, we will be conditioning ourselves to bite rather than bless in the future.

If after reading this you need to call home and apologize to some folks, now is the time (LOL). Your family & friends are your training ground. Learn how to treat them in preparation for your future marriage.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 25th August 2011

The Christian Single Woman: Step 1

The goal of most Christian single women is to be married. However, that does not mean you should wait until you’re engaged to start preparing to be a wife.

God has someone just for you and He’s preparing you to be a part of your husband’s destiny. With that being the case, ladies we need to get ready! We will explore 7 steps of preparation.

Step 1: Pray for your husband

Many Christian single women pray to be married and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But this first P is not about praying to be married, but rather praying for YOUR husband.

What better way to find true love in a husband than by lifting him up in prayer on a consistent basis. It is a priceless gift that helps him experience God’s blessings and grace. A powerful truth, every woman needs to know.

Key areas of prayer may include, his spiritual walk, his emotions, his role as a father, leader and decision-maker, his security in work and finances, his health and physical protection, and his faith and future.


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 25th August 2011

Biblical Expectations for Marriage

Christian marriage preparation is becoming more of a priority as startling statistics reveal the failure of so many marriages.

Let's look at the Bible and marriage. What does the Lord think about marriage? We know from the Scriptures that the Lord approves of marriage. He invented it, for one thing. The first thing in creation that He called "not good" was the aloneness of Adam (Gen. 2:18), and the Lord gave him a suitable partner named Eve. One whole book of the Bible (The Song of Solomon) deals poetically with romance and marriage. In New Testament times, when the Lord Jesus began His earthly ministry, He performed His very first miracle at a wedding (Jn. 2:1-11). And later still, the Apostle Paul compared the love of Christ for His church to the love between husband and wife (Eph. 5:25), indicating a high respect for the marriage relationship.

So, it is clear that marriage is God approved. "Marriage is honourable," says God's Word (Heb. 13:4). Let's put honor back in Marriage by putting God in them!


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 24th August 2011

Tiada yang Mustahil

Sukacitaku, kekuatanku

saatku menyembahMu

Pengharapanku, penolongku

hanyalah Kau Bapaku

Kurindu kuasaMu nyata di hidupku

Reff:

Tiada yang mustahil bagiMu

Tiada yang sukar dihadapanMu Yesus

Tiada yang tak mungkin bagiMu

Sbab itu kupercaya padaMu

When There Was Me And You

When There Was Me And You :

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

The Cross, The Identity

When people saw the Cross I am wearing, they would ask, "Are you a Christian?". I would reply in the affirmative. This happened three [3] times last week.

How do I feel about this? I should be proud to announce that I am a Christian. However, I was concern about the identity that I am carrying. When we were young, people described us as so and so's daughter, and after we obtained our identity card, we use that to identify ourselves.

I am wearing the Cross but do I carry the identity of a Christian?

This reminds me that, when we wear the Cross, we should carry the identity as a Christian, because people are looking at us before they look at Jesus.

Lord, please help me to be like You, so that Your name shall be glorified. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

All Walks of Life

I was supposed to post this last week but again, was too busy to do so.

A, is aged 45. He was borned in a Christian family and had been a devoted a Christian. He has relatives who are Pastors and used to wake up every morning to pray to Jesus. He claimed that he had never been to pubs and clubs during university days. He used to be active in Church. As for now, he is a successful businessman who attends a small Church. He does not serve in Church actively anymore but he goes to Church every Sunday.

B, is aged 34. She was a Buddhist and throughout her life she has been trying to look for answers. A born-again Christian, who had experienced God's grace in her life. She shares good testimony about what God did in her life, and has a heart to continue to seek God.

C, a Manager for a shoe company. He has just received Christ recently and is very excited about his new faith.

Last week, I met these three [3] people and they asked me if I am a Christian when they saw the cross that I am wearing. Their story touched me and reminded me of my own life.

When I first started attending Church back at six [6] years old. I was quiet and shy, and did not dare to join the older children to play but at the same time, I liked to go to Church and listen to Bible stories. When I saw C, I saw myself at primary school. I would be excited when I meet with people who have the same faith as myself and would feel a sudden closeness (because we are family in God's eyes).

When I saw B, I saw myself in secondary school and college days. I was active in Church and love the fellowship amongst the Brothers and Sisters in Christ. I would talk to Jesus and write in my small little diary about how I feel and what He had done in my life.

As for A, well, I am not like him, because I still go to Church, and I still serve in Church but at the same time, I have also become the "not cool, not hot" kind of Christian. I remember a leader told us before, if we are " not cool, not hot", we are considered as sinners because, we are to be "hot" for Jesus. It is "either or", and not somewhere in between.

Lord, please forgive me for my sins and help me to go through this stage. I need Your grace and mercy to relieve me from this struggle and I pray for Your wisdom and guidance to lead me through the whole journey. I long for Your presence and may my life have a breakthrough. I cast my life unto You and surrender all the aspects in my life unto Your hands. Jesus, I need You and I pray hard that You would open my heart to seek You, and only You in my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

August's Activities =)

In a blink of an eye, today is 8th August, 2011. This is a month allocated for family gathering because three [3] family members have their birthday on this month. My parents [24th August] and my second brother [20th August].

I went to AG Chambers for interview and AG told me that children tend to neglect their fathers. I said that is not the case. He then asked me when is my father's birthday, I answered; then he asked me when's my mother's birthday, I answered. Thereafter he commented that I could remember my father's birthday because he shares the same birthday date as my mother, and I beg to differ, of course ~ LOL.

My eldest brother has booked a karaoke room for all of us on 27th August, 2011. So, that is the day for our family gathering :)

August is also a month to travel =)

I will be going to Kuantan to visit a Brother-in-Christ who is doing his internship there at this moment, with a group of Church friends. I have never been to Kuantan and initially, I just thought that this would be the time for me to rest and relax, and I did not have much expectation on this trip.

I was searching online for information about this place and one place attracted my attention: Sungai Lembing. I found out that there are a number of interesting places there and one of it, the museum. Well, I do not have a very good memory but I love to go to museums, just to have a look and feel the history. I remember the last museum I visited was in Kuching, and I enjoyed learning about the Chinese culture.

When a girl friend told us that she might not be going, I was a little disappointed; as I was keen on this trip and would love to explore the place. Aha ~ I know there is not much things to explore at Kuantan, but I think for a person who seldom travels like me, would love to explore every opportunity that comes along.

I did not want to go if I am the only female, because it would cause inconvenient to my guy friends (at least I thought so). I am quiet and introvert, not too adventurous, not too active, not interested in guys' interests such as football, business, politics et cetera; so my first thought was: What am I going to do with the guys? Would they feel comfortable? Do I need to stay alone? Would it be easier for them to plan if it is a guys' trip? et cetera

Anyway, I am going now! I have found a female companion to go with me ^ ^

I was thinking, if at the end of the day there is no female going, would I still join the trip?

I think the answer is yes, because I really wanted to go to the place :p

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

August is also the month Malaysia celebrates our freedom and independence!

My very good sister, Swee Zhi, will be coming back from Singapore ^ ^

Oh, what a coincidence! I am going to Singapore to visit her on Malaysia Day! Haha ~

Haha, actually I am supposed to share some deep feelings today but it turns out to be this. So, these are my activities in August ~ GO! GO! GO! =))

I [ ] You

I was supposed to post this last month but was too busy to do so. Actually wanted to post about something else today, but thought of finishing the unfinished work :)

I [   ] You

One day, a friend of mine posted on FB and asked us, what is the missing word between "I" and "You" that would make you feel touched?

Well, I was a bit tired and bored that day so decided to give a reply. The first word that came to my mind was ~ "need". LOL, this is not too creative I guess because someone has already put that word. So I needed to put on my thinking cap and think again, alas ~ trust! So I replied my comment.

I think there are a lot of words that can be filled in, amongst others:-

LOVE

MISS

NEED

TRUST

BELIEVE 

SUPPORT

HELP

APPRECIATE

ADMIRE

GIVE

FORGIVE

HUG

LIKE

CHOOSE

PAMPER

KISS

ENCOURAGE

NOTICE

FOUND

CARESS

FAVOUR

REMEMBER

KNOW

OFFER

WANT

LISTEN (to)

BE (with)

CARE (for)

WAIT (on / for)

COUNT (on)

HOLD (onto)

FALL (for)

STAND (by)

Well, the above are just few words that I could think of =) Some may need more words to be filled in to have a touchy feeling :P