Nothing prepared me for this! And i mean, nothing!… I am an adrenaline junkie kinda gynaecologist, working in the third busiest hospital in the country. And guess what? I love it! My typical day starts with morning briefing at 8 am, then rounds in the wards and Labour room. In between rounds, we have bleeding cases, babies stuck during delivery, instrumental deliveries, bad perineal tears, critical cases in red zone.. u name it! I even have to run up to the operating theatre if there was a difficult case. And I could handle it all. We have a great team in my hospital. It is extremely tiring, but we work to save lives and only that matters. Then, I got pregnant. We were very happy, my husband and I. We were after all planning this for some time. I had a rather smooth pregnancy. I was still very active at work. I was still doing my duties as usual, and was on call till 36 weeks. Being the only specialist on call in this hospital was not easy, but I did it. Imagine handling all of the above single-handedly. I even managed to organize a departmental bowling tournament and an overnight treasure hunt trip to Port Dickson at term. Along the way, i decided to take a 6 months long maternity leave to be with the baby. I thought I would also need a break after working for so long and suffering through my first pregnancy during my postgraduate studies.
Zara was delivered via elective caesarean section. She was the most beautiful thing i ever laid my eyes on. Day 1 of caesarean section was difficult. I experienced a lot of pain at the scar site despite analgesia. I was discharged the next day. At home, i was struggling postpartum as my mum was away and my sisters were afar. My husband was my only help, trying his best to settle down and take care of the elder one. I was struggling with breastfeeding and Zara was frustrated and crying all the time. I thought i knew it all, being a gynaecologist and going through some 20 hours of breastfeeding course. Boy, I was wrong. Theoretical and practical knowledge were 2 different entities. When i brought Zara back for checkup after a day, she had severe jaundice requiring double phototherapy. I was crushed. I thought i did all the right things. I wasn’t producing much milk and that made matters worse. Still, i kept pumping and gave Zara every drop of breastmilk I had. I was reading and trying everything I could to boost milk supply but nothing worked. I kept on pumping and started Domperidone to help with my milk supply.
Zara thankfully recovered from her severe jaundice, thanks to the dedicated team of nurses at UMSC Wad Dahlia. We were back home, but this was just the beginning. I had to deal with my elder son, take care of a newborn and manage the household chores, with a caesarean scar. Oh, did I mention I had no domestic helper? The amount of work and the toll it took on me was absolutely unexpected. I was struggling with milk supply and a newborn who just latched the whole night. For me, this was so much harder than my 36 hour calls with 5 emergencies in a row! I could handle that, but this was way tougher. And yes, i wasn’t prepared.
How could anyone be a full time housewife/stay at home mum? I realized that this was not for me. Yes, i could cut open a woman, deliver a baby and stitch her up in 20 minutes, but i can’t handle the cleaning, sweeping, laundry, cooking and 2 screaming kids. Its way too much. I wonder, how do you mums do it? And as I near the end of my 6 months maternity leave, I hate to admit it, but I’m smiling, relishing my duties as a gynaecologist and a surgeon. To all stay at home mums, i give u, my standing ovation.
