Young Adults' Camp 2012: Our Journey, God's Glory

The Backdrop

 5th to 7th October, 2012 ~ Our Journey, God's Glory

For some unknown reason, I had already decided to join this Camp even before the Committee was formed. I wanted to serve at that time, and thought that serving in the Committee would serve as a good platform. Hence, I contacted the person in charge and volunteered myself.

YA Camp Committee 2012

My Group: I-Savy

Connexions

The Connexions Worship Team :)

Me the Pianist :)

Say Cheese :D

Take a Heart & be Blessed ^ ^

Big Group Photo =)

Fellowship - The Real Meaning

Recently, one of my devotional materials talked about "fellowship". What is the true meaning of fellowship?

"Real fellowship is so much more than just showing up at services. It is experiencing life together. It includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, and all the other “one another” commands found in the New Testament."

Experiencing life TOGETHER. This attracted my attention. Nowadays, we often define fellowship as "makan session", "chit-chat session", "game session", "jalan-jalan session", "yum cha session" with one another. However, do these amount to EXPERIENCING LIFE TOGETHER?

It has come to a point that the level of relationship that we have with one another is shallow. We just keep in touch with one another on a touch & go basis. We hardly trust others. Due to our busy schedule, we hardly have time for others. We hardly share our problems with others for fear that people may see us differently. We are cautious like a hawk and watch our problems so that the beans will not be spilled out. We are careful who to speak to, what to share about etc.

Of course, we do not share about ourselves to the whole world as different people click differently, but how many of us do take the initiative to build up the fellowship (in the true sense)? Why do we close ourselves to others? We, human, are all equal. The grass is always greener on the other side, but the truth is, all of us have our fair share our issues to be dealt with. If that is the case, what is wrong with practising the true value of real fellowship?

I wonder ~

Contemplative Retreat: Day 3 ~ The Finale

It is the last day of retreat and once again, the verses did not speak to me. I tried to focus on the Word and realised that the verses chosen really suit my situation.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, ¹⁸ while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

At 11:30, we shared our experiences and it was awesome to hear their testimonies :)

By the time we could "talk", I realised that there were blankets in the cupboards and I would have enjoyed the cool weather at night, haha :p

Anyhow, I am looking forward to another silent retreat and long to enjoy His presence from time to time :)

As Dr Chew Tow Yow said: Enjoy God's presence and let God enjoy you ~  

Contemplative Retreat: Day 2 ~ A Walk with Jesus

I had a very early rest on the first night, because I was feeling tired and sleepy. I woke up, with the intention to take my usual morning shower but the weather was too cold. The night was very cold and I regretted not taking any socks with me, and I just had a thin "blanket" to cover myself up, so I did not have a deep sleep.

I took a walk around the vicinity before breakfast time and the Guide asked us to "listen" to the sound of nature. I am not accustomed to sound, so I just walked around "trying" to enjoy the sound of nature. I prefer to listen to the waves of the sea :)

After breakfast, we started to meditate on the word of God again. This time round, I spent less time reading and meditating; instead, I spent more time resting on the bed. I could not understand why I could not relate myself deeply to the verses, perhaps God wanted me to understand something else more related to my current situation.

There was one (1) session whereby we "took" Jesus out for a walk. So, I really imagined myself taking a walk with Jesus, and talking to Him. I must say, this session was the most enjoyable moment throughout the three (3) days I was in Peacehaven.

I was walking with Jesus, and we had a deep conversation:

Me: Lord, why did You do this to me?

Jesus: If I do not do it, will You let go and let me take charge?

Me: But I am just a normal human being, I am feeling tired.

Jesus: Let me ask you, why did you let your friend drive your car up to Genting?

Me: Hm, because I trusted his skill.

Jesus: If you could trust your car and your life in your friend's hands, why can't you put your trust in ME? Now, why did you dare to play the roller coaster?

Me: Hm, because I know the management will take security measures and ensure that it is safe to be played.

Jesus: Again, you trusted the management, but do you put the same trust on ME?

I was silent and tears started to roll down my cheeks. God was right, all these while I did not put my trust on Him, not 100%. I started to feel that God loves me a lot because He did not give up on me and yet He tried to make things right.

Me: Lord, why did You allow the thing to happen early this year?

Jesus: If I don't do it, you will not let go. If you don't let go, how are you going to fill your heart with the One that I have prepared for you?

I kept silent for a moment and was thankful to Him because He had released me from this matter, which had been in my heart for several years.

Me: Lord, how is it like to fall in love with You?

God did not answer me. I guess, I did not love God enough to treat Him as my lover.

God did not give me answer to my questions but one thing is definite, He gave me peace. He assured me that a job is waiting for me when I go back to Kuala Lumpur. He assured me that everything will be all right. He assured me that I will not be alone and He will be with me to overcome everything.

This is the best moment that I had during this retreat. God is love. Thank You Jesus for loving me, even when I am not lovable. Thank You Jesus, thank You.

Contemplative Retreat: Day 1 ~ I am His Precious Child

When I first saw the announcement on this, something came to my mind to attend this. However, this retreat did not appeal to me because I needed to take two (2) days leave in order to attend, so I just kept the idea behind my mind. One (1) week before the retreat, I had some "free" time, and hence I enquired Ps Stuart about this, and thereafter the person in charge contacted me.

The person in charge encouraged us to prepare ourselves to attend this retreat by quieten ourselves. I did my packing at the very last minute, and because I was home alone (family was out to Sekinchan for holiday), there was a lot to take care of. As such, I did not really "quiet" myself before the retreat.

I was late but the other car-mates were gracious to wait for me. I made new friends along the journey and it was truly a blessing to join the retreat.

We were assigned to a room each at Peacehaven. After checking in, we proceeded to a briefing regarding the retreat. At 16:00, we begin the session ~

I did not really know what to expect from this retreat. I just know, I needed God and His guidance. Perhaps I was looking for answers. Perhaps I just wanted a good rest. Perhaps I just wanted to have a short escape from reality. Perhaps...

We went back to our respective rooms after the briefing. I had my shower then went out to have a walk, enjoying the fresh air. Then we proceeded to have dinner.

The first session began after dinner. It was on Psalm 139. I made a short prayer before I started meditating.

Psalm 139

New King James Version (NKJV)

God’s Perfect Knowledge of Man

For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

139 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
² You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall^[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;^[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.^[c]
21 Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
²² I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

Tears were flowing when I read the highlighted part. I felt so touched and remorseful because I failed to realise that I was actually a very precious being to God. He was telling me that I was "fearfully and wonderfully made".

I guess, all this while I had been ignorant and indifferent. I knew that I was saved by His blood, but I tried to avoid taking it personally. In fact, I was "afraid" to attend this Retreat because I was afraid that He was going to ask me to do things that I was reluctant to do. 

Nonetheless, I felt lost, and could not understand why I had to face challenges and obstacles that I never thought would happen on me. I needed some rest and I thank God because I took the step of faith to attend this Retreat.

So, on the first evening, God comforted me with these very words. I felt so blessed to find my indentity in Him again. I felt peace in my heart, despite the circumstances I was in. I felt grateful because He did not abandon me. I felt rested in His arms. I felt that I could just let go and let God.

Dear Father Lord,

I thank You for your comfort as I come before You today. I thank You for the peace that You had given me. I thank You for not letting go of my hand, just like how You had shown me the vision when I was 15. I thank You that despite the challenges that I am facing, You had given me the assurance that You are taking control and You will be with me to overcome everything. My heart is full of gratitude that words cannot explain how I feel. I just want to thank You for everything. Jesus, You had been my best friend, and will be my best friend in the days to come. I pray that I will continue to grow in You and as I mature as a Christian, I will be able to be the salt and light to the world. I need You, Lord, to walk with me and give me guidance throughout this journey.

In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen~

I am a Miracle

Have you ever think about this: I am a Miracle?

Growing up as a Christian, I know that God performs miracles. I still remember that I attended healing rallies when I was young and the speakers would usually invite those with sickness to come forward and pray. At that time, my thought was, "This is something very common happening in a Church; Altar calls are very common, so there is nothing special about it; God is Jehovah Rapha, so He heals and the like". In short, I was being indifferent and ignorant about things that have been taking place in my surrounding.

I remember seeing a phrase something like this: Be thankful, for it is a miracle that we are alive today (I cannot remember the exact phrase). Then I start to think, "Oh yeah, this is very true!"

For some reason, I have been learning about the Holy Spirit for the past few months. Firstly, I enrolled myself in a course called "Dynamics of the Holy Spirit"; next, I joined a seminar by an African Pastor on "Effective Fervent Prayer", then I joined a conference on "The Fourth Dimension of the Holy Spirit"; and lastly, I attended a healing crusade: "The Festival of God's Power".

I believe that my participation in these are not a coincidence. Amen!

It is not the first time I witness miracles before my eyes; but I think it is the first time (maybe I have experienced the same in the past, but that was, past) I felt deeply touched by the miracles that happened around me. Unconsciously, my eyes were flowing with tears of joy when I saw the lame walked, the sick got healed, the blind saw, the deaf heard and many other miracles, all by the touch of the Holy Spirit.

Then I wondered, the fact that I am still breathing today, sitting here, typing this out, is a miracle. It is so true that the fact that I am able to wake up every morning and say, "Good morning, Jesus", is a miracle. The fact that I am so unworthy and yet got saved by the blood of Jesus Christ the Lord, is a miracle. When I saw the sick got healed, I am so thankful to God that I am healthy and normal; This itself, is indeed a miracle.

I am a sinner, so unworthy, but Jesus Christ died on the Cross for me because of one word, LOVE. This is the greatest miracle that all of us have experienced. He had already known us even before we were borned. When Jesus left this world, God did not forget us; He sent the Holy Spirit to guide us. How awesome He is, to think for us, to do what is good for us, to plan everything for our sake; so that we could have a deeper relationship with Him and will not be lost.

We may be facing obstacles in life; but through obstacles we are able to experience Him deeper. We maybe discouraged by men; but He comforts and encourages us. We may feel that we are not worthy at all, but again and again He assured us that He loves us. We are sinners but He forgives us.

In Him, I can be assured that there is hope in life; that there is love in this world; there is a God who cares for me and wants to have a personal relationship with me.

When we are apart from our loved ones, we feel that there is something missing in our lives. If we are apart from God, how would God feel?

I learn to be thankful because I am a miracle of God. I am formed in His image. I am His daughter. I am His princess. Wow, what else do I hope for? He is everything I need.

Thank You Jesus, for everything!

Jesus loves me this I know,

for the Bible tells me so,

Little ones to Him belong,

they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

the Bible tells me so.

While we are still breathing on this earth, we should grab the opportunity to:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

God bless ~

Change [III]

This is the third time I blog about this topic and I notice that I have been quite general about this. Recently I notice that I have been facing some changes in my life; things have been changing too quickly that I am not ready for it. Hm, not really, because I have prepared myself for some changes to take place.

"Ships" do change. There are times we feel that the ship is sailing smoothly, and there are times the ship is facing with obstacles. Sometimes I do not understand what had happened that caused the ship to sink (or about to sink). Sometimes I wonder why do I put myself in the ship.

I am a little tired. I thought the longer we sail together, the more understanding we have. However, it seems that the longer we sail together, we find that we are so different in a lot of aspects. I wonder, if we have respect for one another, the ship will become stronger; because we accept one another's differences and respect one another. Nonetheless, not many may agree with me on this.

Perhaps I have to let go of the ships that put me down. Perhaps this is the lesson that I need to learn. Sometimes, holding too tight, not giving one another space to breathe, will be detrimental to all involved. Yes, it is time to let go...let go...let go ~

Bersih 3.0: 428

The official colour for Bersih 3.0

Today is 28th April 2012. Once again, it is a historic day in our country. Today is Bersih 3.0. It is a rally on the following issues:-

1. Clean electoral roll
2. Free and fair access to media
3. Minimum 21 days of campaign period
4. Reform postal ballot
5. Use indelible ink
6. Strengthen public institution
7. Stop dirty politic
8. Stop corruption

There were thousands of protestors who attended this rally. When I checked on FB, I saw a lot of my friends updating their FB status, about the condition at the various check points. It is really great to know that Malaysians are united to do something for our country. I believe that we Malaysians, are just hoping that our voices will be heard, and through our action, we are shouting out "loud" that we hope for clean election in the country.

It is supposed to be a peaceful gathering. However, in an article on Malaysiakini, the report as follow:-

"After orders to disperse are issued, water cannons and tear gas are fired at the crowd outside the Bar Council building at Lebuh Pasar Besar."

It was so sad to know that the police is taking actions against the citizens. I wonder what is the future of our country; again, and again, we see citizens being oppressed just because we want out voices to be heard. I really pray that the nation will change.

Let's pray for change! Let's pray for our country!

Craving

There is one thing that I am craving at this moment, and that is God. Yes, I am craving for Him. Mom & Chris went to China today and I am alone at home with my dad. It has been such a long time since I stayed up this late and today I am doing this because I feel that I want to spend a lot of time with Him. I am not a holy person, in fact I am just another imperfect human being, craving for whatever things that every human would want to crave for.

There are a lot of things running on my mind right now and I do not know where to start thinking and hence, I need Him urgently. Today the sermon shared by the foreign Pastor was great. I went out to pray at the altar and was hoping that the speaker would pray for me. Three [3] people came to pray for me, but I did not get the "result" that I wanted. All I did was, crying.

Then I wonder, perhaps the Lord wants me to get the answer from Him directly, instead of relying on others to tell me what He wants me to know.

I crave for His presence, for HIs comfort, for His words, for His guidance, for His wisdom, for His love, for His peace, for everything!

Lord, You alone know what is on my mind now. Please teach me what to do. In Your name I pray, Amen.

Time Flies

In a blink of an eye, January has ended; my birthday has ended, Chinese New Year has ended, holidays have ended; and it is the beginning of a new month ~

I feel that time passes too fast this time round; take a look at what I have described just now, four "seasons" have ended.

How do I feel about this year? Besides acknowledging that time flies, I think it is time to move on too.

Last month, I have decided to take an action which I never thought of taking. In fact, I told myself I would not take such a step but with the uncertainties ahead of me, I guess I just do not bother too much and be the aggressive one.

Life is not perfect, and a lot of times we hope that it is perfect. Sometimes we choose to wait for situations to be "perfect" before we decide to take an action. However, have you ever wonder about this: what if there is no tomorrow?

Recently I saw on FB that my friends are searching for their missing relative. At first, I did not think too much about it until few days later, I got to know that this relative was murdered. I do not know this relative personally, but she was from my previous Church, and for some reason, I did feel down knowing this piece of news.

There are a lot of times, we do not expect mishap to happen on us. We tend to take things for granted. We tend to think that there is always tomorrow, in fact, a better tomorrow. We tend to take advantage of our surroundings. We tend to procrastinate, thinking that we still have time to do things in future. There are many other things to be listed down.

If there is no tomorrow, what do I want to do today, so that I can "leave" without regrets? I think I would want to do a lot of things. In the meantime, just be practical and be grateful for what we have, and live life to the fullest.

Every morning when we are able to open our eyes and say "Good morning, Jesus", that itself is the greatest gift from God, because we can live another day to witness His grace and glory in our lives.

Time flies ~ be appreciative before it is too late...

Welcoming 2012

Hi All, this is my first post of the year and today is holiday and I got nothing better to do, so just drop by to post a few lines here =)  I came across this photo this morning :-

I have been praying a matter for quite some time and for some reason, I am taking action to make things work instead of waiting for things to happen. I do not know the outcome as this is not something that lies entirely on my end. However I know that by prayer and faith I would be able to get the answer from Him.

This is also the first time I am posting an entry with regards to this matter here; usually I would post entries like this in my other blog. LOL, maybe I am trying to open myself up.

Lord, I know You know the desires of my heart. Please lead me through. I cast this entirely unto Your hands. In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.