My 100th Post for year 2011

I was actually wondering whether I could have 100 posts this year and yeah, I made it. Well, I know it is a bit of a cheat because not all entries are originally mine but it is the number that matters anyway :p

So, I guess this should be a random post. I am still in the office at this hour, trying to rush documents for my appointment tomorrow. Oops, did I say the word "rush"? Then what am I doing here? Haha, just taking a bit of time off :-)

We are going to enter year 2012 soon and I am anticipating a more challenging and exciting year. I sort of forgotten to put in my previous post that I have done some challenging things this year itself.

I have enrolled myself in swimming lesson. I always have fear for water; I guess that was because I was almost drowned when I was six. I was just at the swimming pool, and all of sudden the float left me and before I knew what was going on, my whole body was in the water. My instructor said that I learned the techniques quite fast but it was my fear that controlled my mind and hence, I would not be able to graduate in five lessons. Hmm, at least I took up the courage to get over with this fear. Weng Yin, ganbate!!!

I have also enrolled myself in a basic counselling course and will start the course next year February. I am interested in this area and even thought of taking up Master in Counselling. Since I am able to study this at a cheaper rate, plus am learning it in a Bible School, I think this would be a better option =)

I do not know how, but I ended up joining the English Church Young Adults Cell Group. This is something new to me because I have grown up in a Chinese Church. It is indeed a pleasant experience. I just joined them for three times and looking forward for more =)

So, I am looking forward to more challenges next year. 2012, I am coming!!!! =)

Girl Next Door

This came into my mind today for no reason and I thought to blog about it. I guess it is quite an interesting term. All the while I thought "girl next door" is just an average and simple girl, but when I looked into the dictionary, it is far deeper than I thought. Let me share with you an Article I found on AskMen.com:-

The Appeal Of The Girl Next Door
Most guys are attracted to the all-night, uber-party girl. But eventually, our focus shifts toward someone with whom we can settle down.

Typically, we look for the wholesome, naturally pretty, more demure female who we've come to know as "the girl next door." Somehow she embodies all of our more mature and tamer instincts: marriage, children and tender companionship. The main difference in our thinking is that her qualities are just as important to us as her looks.

But the million-dollar question is: does she really exist or has the collective male psyche created her only to be an unattainable dream? Let's find out why this down-home cutie is on our fantasy list and discover what we can do to confirm or debunk the myth of the girl next door.
who is the girl next door?

First, allow me to define her.

Every guy may have his specific girl-next-door prototype, but in general, she's the girl whom you always admired from afar and were afraid to approach, fearing that any erotic projection toward her would ruin her image as a decent, pure and almost virginal womanly ideal. Think of Renee Zellweger's character in Jerry Maguire .

She's (in your mind at least) untrodden ground; unspoiled by other men and so sweet-natured it almost frightens you to think of her in explicit sexual situations. Almost . Here's another example: Picture your sister's best friend from when you were kids. In your mind she'll always be that 10-year-old cutie who played with you in the park. Only, when you catch up with her 10 years later, she's still a cutie, but all grown up and someone you can trust and connect with on so many new levels. The intrigue grows.

Similarly, she could be a friend's cousin whom you met at family occasions over the years. Or even a new employee at work who is shy and unassuming, but still gives you that "she seems so nice, I'd love to talk to her" feeling.

Get the picture yet?
What do we like about her?

There are so many characteristics of the girl-next-door type that qualify as "good" or virtuous. These are things we've come to look for in a woman, which earn the respect of our male sensitive side.

She's a homebody. She cooks, cleans and is not afraid of being at home, helping out with chores. Plus, she's not a fan of clubbing. She thinks the nightclub scene consists of horny drunks and game players who don't live honestly. And after all the not-so-great game players you've dated, this is a refreshing, alluring and potentially life-altering change for your dating scenario.

She's nurturing and sweet. Unlike so many of the women you've dated who had militant stances against being nice to you simply because you were a man, she's understanding of your needs and is willing to take care of you when you're sick. Her sweet demeanor -- and knowing that what goes around comes around -- makes you want to be with her and take care of her in kind.

She doesn't attract attention. She's "under the radar," so to speak. Guys won't hit on her everywhere you go; not because she's unattractive, but because she prefers to remain low-key, both in her appearance and her attitude. She's neither a flirt nor is she flashy; but she has that natural beauty that doesn't require coats of makeup.

She's predictable and safe. What you see is what you get. You'll always know where you stand with her, as well as where she stands on any given topic. There's no guesswork involved and that makes her a welcome change from all the women who've played head games with you before.

She's low maintenance. This is one of her best qualities. You won't have to constantly buy her jewelry and other such gifts to keep her interested. She even enjoys just slumming-it for a night in or out with you. Jeans and a T-shirt are fashionable enough for a stroll around town. But here's the kicker: when the occasion calls for it, she dresses to the nines.

She has family values. Because she comes from a solid family upbringing, she believes in the importance of family. If you ever want to be a dad, this is the woman you want as the mother of your children.

She has a good personality. Although this is not something you'd want to hear about someone you're meeting on a blind date, the girl next door is easygoing and able to joke around with you about all kinds of topics. You can go anywhere with her and never get annoyed. She doesn't complain, but she does speak her mind honestly and with respect for your feelings.

She's trustworthy and reliable. You can take her word to the bank. If she tells you she is going to do something or be somewhere, it's set in stone. You could give her your credit cards and never worry that she'll overspend. Now that's a headache you'll be glad to avoid.
so what's wrong with her?

You know the old adage, "if it's too good to be true, it probably is"? That can also apply to the girl next door. Despite all the good qualities that I've ascribed to her, there are still some things to take into consideration -- things that may displace her from the pedestal I've so readily put her on.

She's not a challenge. Let's face it; after some time with her, you may become bored. If you usually enjoy the spice that comes with a certain amount of frustration in a relationship, then she will not be the one to scratch the confrontational itch. Once you have her, the chase is over and you may eventually view her as a steadfast nuisance more than the sweet girl you thought you found.

She's predictable and safe. If you don't like spontaneity, then this isn't a problem. However, because she will never waver from the tried and true habits and experiences, you might have a problem spicing up your relationship just when you feel it's most crucial to do so. Can you say vanilla sex ?

She might be playing you. The worst possible thing to discover is that this was all an act. She really is that wild child party girl who sucked you in with the "nice girl" facade, and all of a sudden, you're back playing the same relationship games that drove you to her in the first place.
knock on her door

By now you surely know why you've been smitten with the girl-next-door type. It shouldn't be too hard to get out there and ask for a cup of sugar from that sweet thing who moved in across the hall or street. After all those women who messed with your heart before, it's now time to get some stable, honest, neighborly love.

So what's wrong with her?
You know the old adage, "if it's too good to be true, it probably is"? That can also apply to the girl next door. Despite all the good qualities that I've ascribed to her, there are still some things to take into consideration -- things that may displace her from the pedestal I've so readily put her on.

She's not a challenge. Let's face it; after some time with her, you may become bored. If you usually enjoy the spice that comes with a certain amount of frustration in a relationship, then she will not be the one to scratch the confrontational itch. Once you have her, the chase is over and you may eventually view her as a steadfast nuisance more than the sweet girl you thought you found.

She's predictable and safe. If you don't like spontaneity, then this isn't a problem. However, because she will never waver from the tried and true habits and experiences, you might have a problem spicing up your relationship just when you feel it's most crucial to do so. Can you say vanilla sex ?

She might be playing you. The worst possible thing to discover is that this was all an act. She really is that wild child party girl who sucked you in with the "nice girl" facade, and all of a sudden, you're back playing the same relationship games that drove you to her in the first place.
knock on her door

By now you surely know why you've been smitten with the girl-next-door type. It shouldn't be too hard to get out there and ask for a cup of sugar from that sweet thing who moved in across the hall or street. After all those women who messed with your heart before, it's now time to get some stable, honest, neighborly love.

Thankful

2011 will come to an end soon. In a blink of an eye, we are approaching year end, and is on the way to usher in the new year. Will next year be better than this year? What would my resolution for year 2012 be?

First, to share my resolution for year 2012. Two words. Short and simple.

BREAKTHROUGH

UPGRADE

Lord, I cast my year 2012 unto Your hands. I hope that my life will have a breakthrough and be upgraded in every possible aspect. I do not know how, but I know You will lead me through. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Next, is to thank God for the things that He had done for me throughout year 2011. It could be a very long story, but I think it would encourage me to continue my walk with Him in near future. From time to time, when I read back my own post, I am surprised myself that I have written such a post. This is because I do not think when I type. I think as I type. So my posts are quite spontaneous in nature, without much editing, save and except grammar, typo and spelling mistakes.

How should I start?

I think I could start with my job. I was employed back in October 2010 and my employer was supposed to confirm me in mid-January. There was fear in me, because I was not confirmed in my previous job. At the same time, an opportunity to quit practice came, and I really wanted to give it a try. You see, once I was confirmed, I need to tender three months notice, whereas if I were to tender before I was confirmed, I just need to give two weeks notice. Perhaps that was not God's will, because I am still here :-)

Throughout this year, I could see myself grow in terms of knowledge, and also as a person.

For a person who lacks sense of direction, I have been to a lot of new places with the aid of my GPS. This is a challenge for me because the GPS could make mistake too. I still remember the worst experience was when it brought me to Cheras instead of Puchong. Well, I still could not remember the direction to the places that I have been, but by taking a step to take up the challenge is something new to me.

In terms of job satisfaction, I am quite happy with my pay now. Further, I am happy when my clients got their new house, and the seller got their profit. My former employer once said, we are indeed helping those who are in need; because we are helping the lay people to obtain one of the most important assets in their lives. Yes, I have such satisfaction now and I hope that I would be able to glorify God's name in this aspect.

Looking back at the photos taken this year, I think I have gone through quite an adventurous year. I have been to few places and I have even taken up a challenge to travel alone. I went to Kuching in March, Bangkok in May, and Singapore in September. It was indeed a pleasant experience.

My parents were worried when I told them that I wanted to go Kuching alone, so my brother accompanied me. Technically, I still travelled alone because he did not accompany me all the time when we were at Kuching.

I had a pleasant trip with my good friends in Bangkok and this was also the first time I go travelling with friends. It was also the first time I travel outside Malaysia, besides Singapore of course.

In September I was very down, and I wanted to take some time off. So I decided to travel to Singapore and visit my good sister. This time, I really travelled alone. I had a good time at Universal Studio (my friends laughed at me because I went to Theme Park alone and injured myself but it was okay, because I have gained experience from the trip too).

In March and December, I helped my good friends in their wedding preparation. This was the first time I try to take part in wedding preparation. It was a good experience and it was a good feeling to work with those who are involved :-)

Anything else? Perhaps the biggest change is my direction in ministry. Since July this year I have been floating in the air. On one hand, it seems that I have lost direction; on the other, it may be a blessing in disguise. Indirectly, I have made a lot of new friends. I have also opened myself to other doors. I have started to join other fellowships so that I could find a better direction. Nonetheless, I believed that things happen not because of coincidence.

I cannot remember when, but few months back I have started to join a new group. The people are the same, but the name and concept are different. At the time I thought that I could not gain a certain thing, God lead me to this group, which could actually satisfy my needs in that particular area of my life. Recently I found out that I am comfortable with the group. Last Saturday when we went out for dinner gathering, I realised that I actually speak more often than before. I wonder why. I guess that shows that I have blended into the group and being less reserved. Haha, a good change, I hope.

Wow, I think I must have typed quite a bit by now. I hope when I read again what I have posted, I will be more thankful to Him because of what He had done for me in the above situations.

Jesus, once again I thank You for year 2011. It was indeed a great year for me. I cast my 2012 unto You and have faith that You will bring me through.

Amen.

When Stress Comes into the Picture ~

I do not like stress. Well, who likes stress? I always try to have a laid back lifestyle, and try to avoid stress as much as I can. Of course, living in this stressful society, we cannot avoid stress. It really depends on how we look at it, how we manage it, how we take it and how far we want it to affect us.

When stress hits, we will have symptoms like headache, bad mood, anxiety et cetera. In short, we will be affected physically, emotionally and even psychologically.

Lately I am very stressed. Sometimes I feel that I think like a "man". Why? This is because I want to hide in my own "cave" and hope that I can find a solution. LOL.

When I am at home, I hope to have peace, because that is the only place where I can feel rested and I believe in what we call "home sweet home". Unfortunately this does not always happen. There will be conflict at home too, especially when family members come into disagreements on certain issues. I tend to have bad temper lately too. Sometimes I really hope that I am alone at home, with no disturbance of any sort.

There is another place which I know I could find some peace, and that is my Eagle. I will pray in the car most of the time and enjoy God's presence. Today the traffic was quite bad on the way to work, and because I was rushing, I felt very annoyed and frustrated because I was at the Land Office for half the day. Shortly after I posted my status on FB, I was reminded of something which I have read few weeks back. It says something like this, "when you are stucked in a jam, perhaps the Lord wants you to slow down". I felt calmer after that.

Perhaps being laid back is just the way I choose to face stress; not that I am cool, not that I do not care about things, not that I am trying to be ignorant or indifferent; but I just hope that by being so, I can reduce the stress that I have. It does not work all the time, especially when crisis hits in; but at least I can try to comfort myself in such a manner.

I have been quite lazy to work out lately, and I guess maybe that is the reason why I feel so stressful. Weng Yin, it is time to put on my gear again ~

Phew, feeling much better after putting down my feelings. I hope that God will help me through this stressful moment. Amen.

First Love

I was late for Church today. As I entered, I was having mixed feelings, because I do not know what to expect. I have "physically" left the Church and I was here today because I wanted to support my mom as she was sharing her testimony during the special lunch today.

For some reason, the word "First Love" came to my mind. I think I need to search back my first love for God. I tried to focus during the whole service. During altar call, I went out and told myself I was going to deal with God personally. There was nobody to pray for me, instead someone asked me to help them when the leaders were praying for those in need.

Lord, please help me to search my first love for You. In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.

Walk for the Freedom to Walk

The Peaceful Assembly Bill which was passed on 29th November 2011 would have the capability of robbing our constitutional rights as a citizen. One comment on Malaysiakini: "I can't believe i am protesting for my RIGHTS to protest".

My colleague sms me last night and asked whether I would like to participate in this Walk. Frankly, I have no such intention because I seldom care about the affairs in our country (shame on me, yes). Nonetheless, I was on standby with my court attire and on the way to office, my colleague sms me again. I am not as passionate as my colleague to have the intention to do something for the country (shame on me again, yea).

When I reached the office, she forwarded an excerpt of the President of the Bar Council's explanation of the Bill and for some reason, I had the sudden urge to attend. I went online to read about this Bill and felt unpeaceful about it. I made a prayer and said, "Lord, if you want me to go, please let me have my boss' approval".

Prayer answered and I was all set to go. When I reached the place, I could not believe that I was doing something like this. Well, those who know me will understand why I am saying this; and as mentioned earlier, why should I even bother myself with all these, and mind you, there is a possibility of being arrested by the police.

I see members of the Bar getting ready for the walk, and tried to understand the impact of this Bill when I was there. At 12:30, we started our walk to Parliament. When we were about to reach, we could see the police with those shields (erm, you call it FRU?). For the first time in my life, I brought myself in such a situation. In my mind I was wondering, what if they attack us? What should I do? What if I am arrested? What would my parents' reaction be IF they see me on TV?

There were four (4) of us from our firm who participated in this "illegal" Walk. As we cannot enter the Parliament, we need to wait outside. We followed the "leaders" to shout:
"Bebas, bebas!"
"Bebas Himpun!"
"Hidup Rakyat!"
"Hidup Bebas!"
and the like~

We also tried to get the motorist to honk their vehicle when they passed by us. Whenever there was such support, we would cheer. We left at about 13:00 because we had to work (half day gone, that's why I am still here :p)

When I was shouting the slogans with other participants, I felt very touched by the acts and supports of the members of the Bar. In fact, I was close to tears. My colleague was telling me this, "Lawyers deal with the law, and we are the "best" people to voice out this protest because we know what are the implications".

I want to share out my insights on this experience and hope that all of us will take a step further to pray for our country. We make not be able to see the impact of this now, but what about the future, when our children will be living here under the system of this country?

Freedom of Assembly, Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Expression & Freedom of RELIGION! This Bill may in a way, affect all these freedoms that are entitled to us under the Federal Constitution~

With Ms Ambiga

I did nothing but to walk and give my minimal support to the Bar. As Malaysians, I hope all of us will give our support in our prayers. Let's pray for Malaysia!

YESUSLAH TUHAN YANG LAYAK DITINGGIKAN
LAYAK DISEMBAH OLEH SUKU-SUKU BANGSA
DENGAN DARAH-MU, KAU TELAH TEBUS DOSAKU
GENAPI TUHAN FIRMAN-MU ATAS NEG’RIKU

REFF:
HATIKU RINDU MELIHAT KEMULIAAN-MU
HATIKU RINDU MELIHAT CURAHAN KUASA-MU
DI TANAH TERCINTA NEG’RIKU MALAYSIA
KUBERDOA MALAYSIA PENUH KEMULIAAN-MU
MALAYSIA BAGI KEMULIAAN-MU

YA ALLAHKU NYATAKAN KEMULIAAN-MU
YA ALLAHKU NYATAKAN CURAHAN KUASA-MU
DI TANAH TERCINTA NEG’RIKU MALAYSIA
KUBERDOA MALAYSIA PENUH KEMULIAAN-MU
MALAYSIA BAGI KEMULIAAN-MU

IOI Community Run 2011 ~ 20th November 2011, Bandar Puteri Puchong

"Alice, would you like to join a run?"

"Hmm, should be okay"

In my mind, I was thinking, since I have been jogging for a while, perhaps I should make this run a "target" to achieve as all this while, I just jog without any specific purpose; I was just doing it for my health :)

Yesterday I was having a severe headache and was home quite late. I was thinking to give up if the headache continued the next morning. I slept for about five [5] hours and when I woke up, I just had light headache. Praise the Lord! I proceeded to get ready for the run.

Oops, I seldom take the easier route to Bandar Puteri but I chose to take this route this morning because it was more convenient. Thank God I managed to find my way there and be there just in time for everything: walk a long way to the starting point (I parked quite far away), did some warm up, went to washroom, & put down my number for lucky draw later.

Ready, Get set, Go!!
I started running together with other participants. The night before I was having a conversation with a friend & he told me the expected duration to complete the run for 7.7km should be 65 minutes. In my heart I was doubting whether I could complete it within this time, because my stamina was just so so. I was telling myself, if I could complete it within 80 minutes (I did some research online which stated that the average time to complete 7.7km was 80 minutes), I should Praise the Lord!

Step by step, walk and jog alternately, I kept telling myself that I could complete the run. Walk, jog, walk, jog ~ ey, I saw some participants from the 5.5km Category! At this point, I was feeling a little happy because I could overtake them :p I made my pace faster, hoping to reach the finishing line soon!

Finally, I saw the finishing line! However, I had no more strength to run or jog there, so I just walked. When I looked at the stopwatch, the duration I took to complete the run was approximately 65 minutes! Wow, a pat on my own back, haha =))

It was challenging for me to wake up early after a severe headache. Praise the Lord for His healing touch =)
Once again, my sense of direction was not as bad as I thought =)
Lastly, my stamina had improved! Hallelujah! =)

Another run? Perhaps next year ^ ^

Everything Begins with God

This is today's message. I went out to the Altar for prayer and this was what the Pastor said:-

"There is not only one road in front of you, and the roads may not be straight; have faith in the Lord to bring you through. The roads may be full of obstacles but His hand will not let go of yours."

Once again, I am reassured of His companionship. I have no idea what the prayer meant. I was focusing on one issue and was hoping for an answer but this came from the Pastor.

Lord, please lead me through as I only want to hear from You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Rest

God says, "come to me those who are weary & I will give you rest"

If you refer to my Note, "The Door", I was saying that I should look to other doors.

For some reason I feel like putting this down today, that I should let go & let God.

I made a prayer, "Lord, if this is not from You, please take it away from me because I need some rest". Yes, I really need to rest for I am tired.

I think I've finally made up my mind that it is time to take a good rest & allow God to work according to His time & way. After all, there is no best way (in human capacity), just God's way.

I learned about trust, about relying on God, about letting God take charge~sometimes it is difficult to put into practice but I believe that sometimes all we need to do is to take some rest & spend some quiet time with Him.

Jesus, I trust that You have Your best interest in me & let You lead me all the way through. In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.

What a Friend I have in Jesus

Dear Jesus,

It has been such a long time since I wrote in such a style, the diary style~

Thank you for letting me know that You will be my best friend~
I know, I could always count on You & lean on You. Whenever I need a companion, You're always on standby. All I need to do is to get connected with You. I don't have to wait for the phone to ring, neither do I have to wait for the line to connect. I just need to call Your name, & instantly I'm connected to You.

You're my strength when I'm weak,
You're my comfort when i'm down,
You're my helper when I'm in need,
You're my provider when I'm lacking,
You're my love, my all~

Jesus,please forgive me because I tend to keep You in my heart but not getting connected to You as often as I should. At times I tend to be so busy with my own life that I've conveniently forgotten that all I need to do is to submit my life to You. Lord, I need You in my life because I'm so afraid to imagine how my life would be without You. Please get involved in my life. Once again, I invite You to my life. As Ps Jaeson Ma had said, Jesus, be my only satisfaction. I just need to have You in my life & all others shall be secondary in my life. I believe that when I put You as priority, everything else will fill in naturally.

What a friend I have in Jesus. In Him, I find contentment, faithfulness, trustworthiness, truthfulness~

With Him, I know I can be my true self because He will accept me for who & what I am. He will not laugh at me, nor make fun of me, nor betray me, nor taking advantage of me, nor taking me for granted~

Jesus, You're all I need. Thank You for everything, because of You, I'm able to experience Your grace & mercy. There's none like You, yes, there's none like You. Amen!

The Other Side of Me

Recently I have been making some plannings and I found out that I could actually be the aggressive type. As I was making plans, I noticed that I could step out of the comfort zone and take some risks in order to achieve what I wanted to achieve.

Bible says we can make all the plannings we want, but what is more important is we must submit our plans to God. Lord, I cast my plans unto Your hands. Please guide me with Your wisdom, for I am weak, and in need of You.

Lord, help me to overcome my fears and help me to step out of my comfort zone because I want to enter another zone, a zone which is for a greater calling. I cannot do this alone, and I need You to help me through. I want a breakthrough.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Reluctance

Today is Sunday, usually we will wake up and get ready to Church. I do not know how long I have those happy feeling going to Church. Today, I am more reluctant to go Church.

I took longer to prepare myself. As I was driving, I wanted to drive myself to an unknown Church. I do not know where to go.

In the end, I went to a Church nearby. The message was about busyness. In July, when I went back to GT, the Pastor was also sharing about busyness. Then I asked God, "Am I too busy?".

Initially I planned to return to FGA to attend the Bible Class. I went in, but did not stay. I left and went to Jusco thereafter.

Lord, please lead me through ~

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS: Part 2 of 2

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS:
(in no particular order)

Part 2 of 2:

6. Stop obsessive seeking: Learn to trust that God knows whom you should be with if its in His will for you to marry, and trust that He will bring you two together when His time is right. Stop looking at every member of the opposite sex as a potential mate to be run through the evaluation mill, and at every member of the same sex as competition. Those attitudes can end up leading you into constant disappointment, jealousy, and dissatisfaction. While you're at it, avoid being a ‘blind shooter' jumping around from field to field with the desperate belief that the more ‘options' you have the better your chances of finding ‘the one'. God knows who that one will be; you don't need to meet hundreds of men/women to find him/her. Trust Him.

7. Use this time to prepare yourself for marriage: If you are seeking to marry a Godly Christian, strive to be the type of person that you would want to marry. There may be qualities/traits or areas in your life that God will need to refine and work in before you will be ready for marriage. Be open to God's direction and strive to hear His voice and to stay in tune with His will.

8. Spend daily time in Bible study and prayer: Again on the issue of time, as a person who is single, you're probably blessed with more undisturbed time and have fewer distractions than does the mother or father who has two or three children potentially entering the room at any time. Take advantage of the time you have been given and do some serious Bible study, enjoy longer undisturbed prayer times - try becoming a prayer warrior and interceding on behalf of others (this too is a great way to keep from becoming self-focused on your own loneliness or needs)

9. Pray regularly for your future spouse: Sure you may not know them or their needs, but God does. Statistically speaking, chances are strong you will marry one day, and your future spouse is out there somewhere. How awesome to think that although miles and years may separate you at this time, God knows and sees you both! You will spend the rest of your life praying with and for this person, so why not start now? Pray that God will meet his/her needs (God knows what they are), pray for growth in that person's faith, for their strength to stand up boldly for the truth, and for their courage and strength to remain sexually pure and avoid to temptation.... etc. You can also pray that God might be preparing both of you for your marriage and for His will to be done.

10. Above all: Remember your first love: Use this time in your life to learn to truly love God above all else. Only once you are able to love God and be satisfied in Him alone will you be able to reciprocate that love and love someone else with the unconditional love He gives you. Only God's love can truly satisfy your personal need for love.

CONCLUSION: Enjoying your singleness doesn't mean having to resort yourself to a lifetime of it, it only means being happy during the time it's here.

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS: Part 1 of 2

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS
(in no particular order)

Part 1 of 2:

1. Stay busy! You won't have time to sit and mope about how lonely you are if you stay active and put your time to doing something useful and positive. Learn to see this time of singleness as a blessing, not as a curse or a trial to be endured.

2. Try something new: People who are married and have families need to devote a lot of time to them. Despite your homework or work schedule, at this time in your life you are blessed with a lot more free time to do things outside of the home than you will ever have again. Enjoy it! Take on a new hobby, join a good cause, go on a short term mission...

3. Be spontaneous: Along with extra time comes the time to do more things on the spur of the moment. Yours is the only schedule to plan around. Go out with a friend at amoment's notice, stay up all night in a coffee shop (it's good practice - you'll end up pulling all nighters later in life once the baby comes, anyhow), hop in a car and drive to the next province or state with your buddies... Schedules and plans, once you are married, will have to made by two and often well in advance. The degree of potential spontaneity you have now is temporary. Treasure it!

4. Stop hanging out with only the married: You all used to hang out together when you were single, then one by one your ‘gang' marries, and you are left single. You try to hang out with them, but end up feeling like an odd ball since you're the only one in the group with no hand to hold and nothing to add to the discussions that too often circle around ‘couple issues'... It's your train to misery unless you switch tracks! Don't abandon your married friends all together - you may be among them some day; but be sure to balance your life with like-minded single friends.

5. Join a group for single Christian adults: If your church doesn't have one, find a church that does, or start one. Keeping your social life active will keep you from taking a self-pity trip to 'No-Spouse Bluesville'. While a young adult group may in fact become your ticket to ending your singleness, don't let this become your priority. Start enjoying the friendships God has blessed you with, both male and female, and seek out ways that you can be a blessing and encouragement to them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

CONCLUSION: Enjoy this time God has blessed you with; statistically speaking, if you are like most people, it will not last forever.

My Daughters: ~ Sapna Anu B. George

My Daughters:
~ Sapna Anu B. George

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I found him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped you... I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful daughter. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes... don't change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I've held your heart close to mine.

You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God. So man... treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 5 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 5 of 5:

Create a Conscious Relationship:

People fall into roles unconsciously, but you can make decisions to change, even about something as simple as who always takes out the trash. So much of what goes on is unconscious; look instead at the possibilities that exist in the relationship. Having a Conscious Relationship means relating to self through another person. That means that the other person becomes a mirror and constant source of feedback.

It’s important to talk with each other about what kind of relationship you BOTH want. The synergistic energy created when two come together is the perfect tool to work through all these old negative patterns of behavior. Two, working and living in harmony, are a powerful energy for change.

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 4 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 4 of 5:

Technique #4:

Avoid Competition in Marriage:

Couples often get into competition over who has the better deal, but a competitive attitude can damage a relationship. Rather than argue over who gets to do more, think about the relationship as a whole, work as a team.

It’s important to develop compassion and empathy for your partner. Acknowledge the other; you can always find good in the other person.

An important tool to help develop empathy is to think about your spouse's family of origin. Sometimes it’s easier to understand why someone is frugal, for example, knowing that he or she grew up poor or in a household where the parents always fought about finances.

Work as a team instead of in competition with each other!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 3 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 3 of 5:

Technique #3:

Listen to Your Partner
No one knows you better than your partner. If he or she says that you engage in a particular behavior (complaining, gossiping, snoring) at least consider the possibility.

“Don’t get defensive,” said John. “You married your partner for a reason and (your partner has) something to offer you.”

Listening to each other also provides a couple with a system of checks and balances, according to the Kaplans. Opposites attract, and each person in the relationship offers the other the opportunity to grow in the very ways that are most needed. By holding each other accountable, couples have the opportunity to receive feedback from the people they know and trust the most.

LIKE if you are a good listener!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 2 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 2 of 5:

Technique #2

Differentiation in Marriage Is Key:

Relationships are made of individuals, with their own unique personalities, backgrounds and habits. But people sometimes complain about their spouse's differences, leading to hurt feelings and simmering resentment.

“It’s the error of assumed similarity,” said John. “We make the mistake that because I like this, you like this. Couples do this, particularly with sex, all the time.”

The key is to not only recognize your partner’s differences, but to love him or her for who he or she is. “Stop looking for what is not there and love what is there,” said Gail. For example, instead of being annoyed because your partner does things differently than you, compliment him or her on something they do well. Do not focus on the negative. Add some positivity!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 1 of 5

‎5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage:
Part 1 of 5:

Acceptance, generosity and adult conversation aren't extras in a marriage. They're essential tools to keep partners focused on one another.
Married couples need to honor one another in order to keep their bond strong. John Kaplan, LICSW, is a social worker focusing on helping couples improve and strengthen their relationships. John and his wife, Gail, LMHC, a nurse and mental health counselor, are the co-directors of Marriage Labs, a psycho-educational program for couples. According to the Kaplans, five tips for a strong marriage involve acceptance of one another’s differences and making conscious choices about how to relate to one another.

Technique #1

You Can Only Change Yourself

“Most people (in couples therapy) want to talk about how awful the other person is,” “They expect that the other person should change. We tell them to focus on themselves.”

She suggests that each member of the couple write down three things to do differently in order to improve the relationship. Simple changes, such as choosing not to nag your partner about a persistent annoyance, can make a big difference. Are you willing to change?

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 4 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating

Part 4 of 4:

The Difference in Methods:

Most practically, modern dating and biblical courtship are different in their methods. And this is where the rubber really meets the road. In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.

According to the current school of thought, the best way to figure out whether you want to marry a particular person is to act as if you are married and see if you like it. Spend large amounts of time alone together. Become each other's primary emotional confidantes. Share your deepest secrets and desires. Get to know that person better than anyone else in your life. Grow your physical intimacy and intensity on the same track as your emotional intimacy. What you do and say together is private and is no one else's business, and since the relationship is private, you need not submit to anyone else's authority or be accountable. And if this pseudo-marriage works for both of you, then get married. But if one or both of you do not like how it is going, go ahead and break up even if it means going through something like an emotional and probably physical divorce.

Such is the process of finding "the one," and this can happen with several different people before one finally marries. In the self-centered world of secular dating, we want as much information as possible to ensure that the right decision is being made. And if we can enjoy a little physical or emotional comfort along the way, great.

Clearly, this is not the biblical picture. The process just described is hurtful to the woman that the man purports to care about, not to mention to himself. And it clearly violates the command of 1 Thessalonians 4:6 not to wrong or defraud our sisters in Christ by implying a marriage-level commitment where one does not exist. It will have a damaging effect on the man's marriage and hers, whether they marry each other or not.

In a Biblical relationship, commitment precedes intimacy. Within this model, the man should follow the admonition in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 to treat all young women to whom he is not married as sisters, with absolute purity. The man should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by defining the nature and the pace of the relationship. He should do this before spending significant time alone with her in order to avoid hurting or confusing her.

He should also seek to ensure that a significant amount of time is spent with other couples or friends rather than alone. The topics, manner, and frequency of conversations should be characterized by the desire to become acquainted with each other more deeply, but not in a way that defrauds each other. There should be no physical intimacy outside the context of marriage, and the couple should seek accountability for the spiritual health and progress of the relationship, as well as for their physical and emotional intimacy.

Within this model, both parties should seek to find out, before God, whether they should be married, and whether they can service and honor God better together than apart. The man should take care not to treat any woman like his wife who is not his wife. Of course he must get to know his courting partner well enough to make a decision on marriage.

In all these ways, a biblical relationship looks different from a worldly relationship. If this is done well, Christian women will be honored, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honored and God will be glorified!

We pray someone was inspired, educated and determined to make a change for Jesus.

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 3 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating
 
Part 3 of 4:

The Difference in Mind-set:

The second major difference between biblical courtship and modern dating is the mind-set couples have when interacting with one another. What is meant by that? Modern dating is essentially a selfish endeavor. We do not mean maliciously selfish, as in "I'm going to try to hurt you for my benefit." Meaning an oblivious self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about SELF. After all, what is the main question everyone asks about dating, falling in love, and getting married? "How do I know if I've found the one?" The unspoken ending to that question is "For me." Will this person make me happy? Will this relationship meet my needs? Have I done as well as I can do? All questions based on SELF.

Selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, and therefore should not be what drives a biblical courtship. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3, NIV). It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians 5:25 gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. That means loving sacrificially every day.

Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that his every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her - a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.

In other words, modern dating asks, "How can I find the one for me?" Biblical courtship asks, "How can I be the one God has chosen for her?"

Courtship vs. Dating : Part 2 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating

Part 2 of 4

The Difference in Motive:

The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34- 35).

Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple - always with marriage in view. We are not advocating arranged marriages; rather, pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.

Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is NONE. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? ZERO. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 1 of 4

Courtship vs Dating Series

In a 4 part series, we will discuss the definition, the difference in motives, mind-set and methods of each.

Part 1 of 4

Defining Courtship and Dating:

Let's begin by defining courtship. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal.

What then is dating? Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more- than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Casual dating is a romantic linking of a couple simply to enjoy each other's company for the present. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal.

Your thoughts?

(materials taken from the Singles Ministry studies of Mt. Zion Church)

My Breakfast & Lunch

Good morning!

A good start of the day needs a healthy breakfast! I think a lot of us will agree with this statement. In Malaysia, we have a lot of choices; nasi lemak, roti canai, oats, fried meehoon, pau, lo mai kai et cetera. However, these food usually carry a lot of calories and if taken too much, will not benefit the body.

As for me, a friend shared with me about a drink mix which contain nutrients and can be filling as well. I started to take it for breakfast in June 2011 and in July, I took it for lunch as well. However for lunch, I just mix two [2] of the "ingredient" instead of three [3].

This month, I am going to have the three [3] mixes for my lunch as well =)

Why?

Please do not get me wrong, I am not here to promote the brand but I am here to share with you how I have benefited from the food I am taking.

The most obvious improvement that I could see, is my skin. Previously I had acne skin and even though I still have the occasional breakout but my complexion has indeed improved a lot. My friend who had not been seeing me for few months could see this improvement.

Just to share with you the photos =)

The Door [I]

Once I shared with my friend that life is a bus journey [I think this is not the first time I am sharing about this here] and we have a destination to reach. For instance, at age 17, our destination is to score for our Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia [SPM], and at age 22, we aim to obtain a degree in whatever course that we are doing, and the list goes on.

At this stage of my life, I have a destination to reach. There are many doors that I could open in order to reach the destination. Each door has its own unique design. One particular door attracts my attention and I aim to open to this door in order to reach the destination.

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

The door remained unopened.

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

The door is still unopened.

I try my best to get the door opened but to no avail. I am about to give up and I think I heard a reply from the other side of the door, so I decided to wait.

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

Hm, there is no reply.

Waiting patiently...

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

The door is still unopened.

At this stage, I get a little frustrated and I wonder whether I should keep waiting for the door to open or should I try other doors, which seem to have positive feedback?

Okay, everything deserves a second chance right? I continue to wait...

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

I think I heard a reply again but the door is still unopened.

One last chance, I try again...

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

Hm, no response.

Okay, I am giving up and try other doors instead!

When we cannot change the situation, we change our perception!

I am in the comfort zone and therefore not willing to change, no matter how bleak the situation is. I thought this door is the best for me and hence, I try to hang on as long as I can. I try a lot of ways to get the door opened and yet to no avail. I thought with patience, the door will open eventually but to no avail as well. Therefore, instead of focusing on that door, I should change my perception and open my mind and heart to my surroundings.

When we cannot change the situation, we change our action!

Having changed my perception, that is to be open-minded and look around the surroundings, I need to convert the new perception into action. First step, to step out of the box, move out from my comfort zone and choose another opening that could reach the same destination!

When we cannot change the situation, we change our direction!

I look here, and look there! Ah, I found another door that attracts my attention! Now with this new direction, I am heading towards the destination!

Sometimes, letting go is a better option because it can release us from frustrations, bondages, negative thinkings and emotions et cetera. When it is time to let go, we should let go willingly, because we never know, by taking a new step, new opportunites are awaiting us at other doors.

So, Weng Yin, let it go! =)

September 2011

Hello everyone! Haha, first of all, I do not even know whether anyone is reading my blog :p BUT I still like to share my thoughts and feelings here=)

It is 4th day of September today and phew, what a tiring Sunday. I slept at 01:00 this morning after a late night out with my family in Christ yesterday. We had Thai food at Sawadee 88 in Cheras. The food is not too bad and most important is the fellowship amongst the members in the family =)

I woke up early this morning as I am serving in the main service today. Thereafter I attended Bible class and gained much from it; the lesson today is about the differences between the male and females. Actually I already know these through the book I am reading, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"; but it is good to gain the knowledge from the members in the class as most of them are married, and are sharing their personal experiences.

After having some rest at home, I went to Taman Bukit Jalil to have my weekly jog. Later on, my parents and I had our dinner at a restaurant nearby and now, I am here blogging ^ ^

I am excited about this month because I am going to Singapore to visit my lovely Sister, Swee Zhi =) She is a very close sister of mine, and the reason why I wanted this trip was because I wanted to share my heart out with her. Throughout the last few months, I have been bothered by little things in life, and I just want to share it with someone whom I trust. Furthermore, I also want to relax and release stress! 

She is working in Singapore and is always busy, so it is unlikely for me to do this with her during normal days. Swee Zhi, I am looking forward to this trip :) If you are reading this, would you like to join me? Haha, yes, I am asking you :p [I have asked her permission to bring along a friend and she said yes =D]

This month is also significant because this will be my last month at a place. In July, I have set myself a dateline till end of September before I make my final decision to leave this place. It is not really my intention to leave at this point of time, but circumstances have turned out to be too convincing for me to believe that it is time to leave. Besides, I had the intention to leave mid last year and the circumstances that happened had pushed me to move out from my comfort zone.

As time goes by, the dateline is coming soon and I need to make the final decision. Throughout these few months I tried to look for reasons to stay, as well as to leave. Well, I am certain of the reason why I wanted to leave ~ for my own growth; and maybe because I have developed feelings in the place, hence I am hesitated to leave.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

Catch the tiger/monkey/baby by the toe.

So, what should I do now? It is so strange that at the moment I had a reason to leave, there comes an activity that could help me grow. Oh, at this moment I really asked God:

"Hey Jesus, what is this? I had a plan to leave last year and it is such a coincidence that everything seems to fall into place and I have already taken action to act on the plan and now comes this activity, and that is not all, my actions are heading towards the opposite direction of my mind! Oh, is this a cat catch the mouse game? No, this is not a game! This has to do with my calling, the calling that You have in me. Now Lord, please teach me what to do and show me Your light because, I do not want to have no sense of direction and I need You to lead me through."

Oh yea, that was my prayer all right and I really hope to resolve this dilemma as soon as possible. You know A.S.A.P? It stands for "smoke" in Malay; so where there is fire, there is smoke; where there is smoke, we need to act fast! So you see, I really need to act fast ~

On FB, I have recently clicked "like" on a page called "I want a Godly Marriage", and I find that the information shared on this page is very good and useful. I have shared some of the articles here because I want to read it from time to time, and for convenience sake, I just copy and paste it here :p

Hm, love, marriage, family ~ at this age, I think it is normal to think about this? Haha, obviously yes :p On this aspect, I trust God will lead me to the man He had prepared for me. A friend shared with me this and I find it logic ~ women, are the rib bone of the men, and a rib bone does not have a leg! So, the men need to go and look for the rib bone! How can a woman (without legs) run to the man? Logic? I think it is, LOL =)

In these two [2] days I have got some news regarding human life. Life is fragile, life is short ~ so why not live the present as though there is no tomorrow? If there is no tomorrow, what is one thing that you want to do? Have you thought about it? Honestly, I have not.

Now, let me think ~ would I spend the day sharing with others the love of Jesus? would I spend the day with Jesus? would I go to places that I want to go? would I want to read all the books that I have bought? would I want to spend the day with my family? would I want to hang out with my friends? would I have the courage to do things that I have always afraid to do? would I have the courage to share my feelings out?

Hm, a long list huh ~

Live the present like a precious gift that we receive; cherish every moment, appreciate every experience, enjoy every situation ~

One woman’s perspective of Love

One woman’s perspective of Love

You're my husband, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,

You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,

You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,

You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my husband, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.

- Nima Akbari -

Your Name

Your Name - Jessica Blade

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
God wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.


Thank you Lord!

My Gift From God

My Gift From God

Love is like a lump of gold,
Hard to get, and hard to hold.
Of all the girls I've ever met,
You're the one I can't forget.
I do believe that God above,
Created you for me to love.
He chose you for me from all the rest,
Because he knew I would love you best.

- Loy Bowman -

Love Quote

The way with you,I wilL never felt alone
The road with you,I wilL never felt dry
The sunset with you,I wilL never felt depressed
The life with you,I wilL never felt dulL ♥

I came across this on FB. My friend shared it and find it a nice poem to share :)

God Bless ^ ^

TRUST

TRUST

Trust is probably the most important ingredient in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife. Trust is something that must be cultivated and nurtured.

We can sum up the essence of building trust in one idea: Create a safe emotional space for your spouse. If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, than you are probably building an unsafe one. If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, then you are probably building an unsafe one.

To promote trust is to consciously strive everyday to build a safe emotional space.

A couple of guidelines for creating a safe emotional space:

Constantly work on improving your communication skills.

Develop the skill of being a good listener, which is one of the hardest skills to develop.
Being a good listener means you don't interrupt your spouse. This requires great discipline and respect. Learn to ask, "Are you finished?" Always make sure you've fully understood what the other person has said.
A simple tool to use for this is the well known "mirroring technique." You reflect back what the other person has said. It may sound a bit contrived but, believe me, it really works. What you have to learn to do is say something like, "Let me make sure that I've understood what you just said. It sounded to me that you want me to..."

When a person feels he or she cannot express their needs to the other person, then this leads to a break down in trust.
We often don't express our needs for two reasons. Either we are afraid of rejection or we are afraid of feeling ashamed for having such needs.

When a couple can express and meet each other's needs consistently this is one of the most powerful ways to build trust in a relationship.

C.A.R.E. (The Foundation for a Godly Marriage and Home!)

C.A.R.E. (The Foundation for a Godly Marriage and Home!)

Contributed by Rev. Joseph Gerkin

Godly marriages and homes are built upon more than a few nice things or thoughts. There's a major "COST" involved...it doesn't just happen. God gives us some "building blocks" for Godly marriages and homes. They're found in Ephesians 4:32.

C-OST: ("tender-hearted") A "tenderhearted" person is one who is affectionate and takes a compassionate interest in others...and is willing to assist in bearing their burdens. Our first instinct or nature is that everything is to "evolve" around us...not others.. (Which do you find "dominate" in your life and relationships? Selfishness or Selflessness?)

A-LERT: ("kind") A "kind" person is one who has an unselfish concern for the welfare of others and a desire to understand and care for the needs of others even at great personal sacrifice. I'm not sure who said this profound statement...but...it's sure a powerful truth. "People don't really care what we know until they know that we care!" A major part of "kindness" is a willingness to be alert too... and understanding of...the needs and hurts of others.

R-EALISTIC: ("forgiving") A "forgiving" person is one who has a readiness to pardon offenses...to overlook personal wrongs against oneself...and a willingness to harbor no desire for retaliation. Remember - "unrealistic expectations" can kill a marriage and destroy a home.

E-AMPLE: ("even as God in Christ forgave you") An "example" is a person or thing to be imitated... a model...a pattern! The greatest "example" of One who forgives is God Himself. And we are unworthy objects. The greatest thing a father or mother can do for their children... or for anyone else watching... is to be passionately in love with our mates. It can't...won't happen...UNTIL we truly come to grips with just how much God has...in and through Christ Jesus...forgiven us!

Let's continue to ask God to make our marriages and homes a "living testimony and example" of what His mercy and love can do for believers willing to simply trust in Him? We just need to C.A.R.E.!

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 6

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #6 - INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: "After you're married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?" And I usually follow-up by saying, "And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?"

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.
Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are feeding the hungry together, attending church together, or preparing a meal together.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 5

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #5 - CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear -- or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other. Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.
Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect -- by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it's a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who "turn away" from each other don't develop closeness.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 4

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #4 - USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the "listener-speaker technique." The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here's how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully "heard," do you then proceed to problem solving.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 3

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #3 - CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It's common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 2

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #2 - CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

 

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following "greeting ritual" at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, "Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!"

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a "date night" at least every other week.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage: Habit # 1

6 Habits to a Healthy, Godly Marriage:

HABIT #1 - GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal -- which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?"

To monitor how you're doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

Preparing for a Godly Marriage

Preparing for a Godly Marriage:

Preparing for a Godly marriage is a process. Your mind has to be in the right place. Time should be spent studying the Bible and Biblically inspired books to find out what God has to say about marriage. Now should be the time that you prepare yourself for marriage. Don't wait until Mr./Ms. Right gets here. Begin now. Get everything in order...home, finances, health, mind, relationship with the Lord. Clean your house. Get rid of those things that you no longer use or are out dated. If you're not doing so, start a savings account. If you have any debts, pay them down. Get a physical. Make sure your health is in order.

Ask the Lord to prepare your mind for marriage. Take your mind off yourself. Once you're married, it won't be about you anymore. You will become "we." Put the Lord first. Spend time with Him daily. Make it a priority to keep Him first even after you're married. Be the person that you want to marry. If you know that you want to marry a good thing, then know that they do too, so get you're act together. Don't set such high expectations for them that you don't meet yourself. Think about what you're bringing to the table.

Please share with anyone you know seeking a Godly marriage!

All I have to Give

Today is Malaysia's Independence Day. I woke up early and spent some quiet time. Thereafter, I counted the books I bought from BookFest 2011 yesterday. Wow, I bought 18 books all together, hope I will spend time to read all :)

I on my laptop to transfer musics to the pendrive, so that I could listen in the car. In the meantime, I checked on FB and found this :-

My heart was touched when I read this and this is also my inner voice to the person I love [whoever he is in the future :)]. Let me share it here earlier, and later on share it with "him" :p

ALL I HAVE TO GIVE

Author: Cara G. Stanfield

You're the first thing I think of

Each morning when I rise.

You're the last thing I think of

Each night when I close my eyes.

You're in each thought I have

And every breath I take.

My feelings are growing stronger

With every move I make.

I want to prove I love you

But that's the hardest part.

So, I'm giving all I have to give

To you... I give my Godly heart.

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 4 of 4

Part 4 of 4

Let's be friends! – This is an important dating tip to remember. Don't forget that until you are married the person you are dating could be some one else's future mate. Remember God knows just who we are supposed to marry and every person we get to know is not that person. People are put in our lives for a different reasons.

Tip #4 Take your time, no need to rush into anything!
Use your time as a single person to strengthen your walk with God!

When you begin dating someone there is a lot of pressure to move things along much too quickly. We tend to get emotionally involved and emotions can lead to physical affections. Choose to keep your relationship on a friendship level. The longer you can remain "just friends", the more time you have to really get to know each other. The more you know about each other, the better the understanding of your purpose to each other should become. Is this the person God has chosen for you? Use this time to allow God to speak to your heart. Sometimes we force things upon ourselves instead of waiting for Him.

Spiritual Reference:
1Corinthians 7:1 - "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman."


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 3 of 4

Part 3 of 4

Let’s examine why knowing one's personality traits are important in Christian dating. It will simply help you to answer this question, "What shall we do on our dates?" If you go into this question discussed seriously with your Christian dating partner, you can have lots of fun and avoid ungodly pitfalls.

Tip #3 – Take note of Personality Traits (It's a part of their attitude towards life and you)

Basic Traits to look for:

Wholesome Attitude of Give and Take (you don’t want someone trying to dominate or control you)

Thoughtfuness and Consideration toward others (Someone with such traits understand your walk with Christ and respects your decisions because of it.)

Attitude of Sharing Hardships & Joys (You must be able to support one another during the dating phase. Not just sharing the good but support during the difficult times.)

*Notice all of the things we are seeking are within, not on the outside.

Spiritual Reference:
1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV) - But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011

Christian Dating Mini Series: Part 2 of 4

Part 2 of 4

As single Christians on the dating scene, you need to understand the causes for failure and the essentials in your partner such as their personality traits, character traits, mental health and most important than these, their walk with God for martial success.

Tip #2 – Pay Attention to Character

When you select a dating mate as a potential marriage partner, you are choosing far more than a bed buddy and companion for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent building enterprise who will be among other things: the other parent, have access to your bank accounts and credit, and most importantly, intimate access to your innermost thoughts and feelings, hopes and plans, ambitions and aspiration. Chew on that one for a moment, can we really afford to overlook character?

Spiritual Reference:
Proverbs 11:3 - The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. (NIV)


Source: I want a Godly Marriage
Date: 31st August 2011