Courtship vs. Dating
Part 2 of 4
The Difference in Motive:
The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34- 35).
Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple - always with marriage in view. We are not advocating arranged marriages; rather, pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.
Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is NONE. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? ZERO. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.
Part 2 of 4
The Difference in Motive:
The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34- 35).
Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple - always with marriage in view. We are not advocating arranged marriages; rather, pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.
Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is NONE. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? ZERO. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.
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