The Ship [III]

It was indeed a wrong guess. Jeff did not delete Janice from his friends' list. They did chat occasionally online and met up once. Thereafter, the distant between them seems to get further.

What is happening to the ship? Janice seems to think too much and things seem to be getting out of hand. One of her resolution this year is to let go of things that had been holding her, and that includes friendship. Once Jeff asked what does she want to let go, as she had mentioned it once generally, but she did not give him a definite answer.

She mentioned about her own hard-heartedness and Jeff replied: "hard-heartedness indeed". Perhaps Janice is afraid that she is going to get hurt so she is protecting herself. Perhaps, perhaps...

Janice knows she does not treat Jeff like how he treats her. Sometimes she is confused herself. Perhaps the distant between them now, is a good way to maintain their friendship.

Perhaps...

The Ship [II]

Janice was not sure what was on Jeff's mind. However she believed that whatever happened was for a good cause. Janice discovered that Jeff had deleted her as his friend. She never understood why he wanted to do so, but to her, the reason did not matter anymore.

It is strange that a year of friendship ended in such a manner. However, in the first place, was the friendship worth Janice's attention? Does she need a friend who constantly say something that hurt her feelings? Does she need a friend who simply blah something to bring her down? Does she need a friend who is not treating her like a friend?

Janice is not sure if she had guessed correctly. Perhaps she was wrong after all. Perhaps there was misunderstanding between them. It takes two to clap the hand. Therefore, it is no longer necessary to explain anything about this friendship, because if it is only Janice who cares about this friendship, what is the point of knowing or finding out about the truth...

Human relationship is amazing, isn't it? There are times where things like this can happen. To Janice, she prefers to have a deeper friendship compared to a shallow one. Is this achievable? Of course it can!

I was on MC

Today is Thursday and I am on MC for almost a week now. Phew, it has been such a long time since I had a long 'break'.

I was feeling unwell since last Monday and was on MC on Tuesday. I thought it was just normal viral fever but when I still felt sick on Friday, I went to see doctor again and it turned out that I was diagnosed with dengue fever.

For the first time in my life, I was hospitalised for few days. It was definitely not a very good feeling. Every morning the nurse will come and take my blood for test, to see my platlet count, every four hours the nurse will come and take my temperature, blood pressure and pulse etc.

Nonetheless, what I feel good about is the warmth from my family, friends and in-Christ. When I was admitted to hospital on Friday, my whole family was with me. I felt touched because I could feel the love and support from my family members.

I also felt warm when Brothers & Sisters-in-Christ visited me on Saturday. Their prayers and support were the evidence that God is love. I felt surprised when my colleague came to visit me as well.

Also, the sms that I keep receiving is very encouraging as well. Here, I would like to thank SY for her sms everyday.

I hope I have a good rest throughout this one whole week. Unfortunately we have to face with reality. Next week I will be back at work and there goes the whole boring cycle again. How I wish if I can always have lots of time for myself. Hmm, I wonder when can I enjoy such a lifestyle.

Anyway, I still have few more days to rest. Rest well & get well soon, Weng Yin!

Let go & Let God

One of my favourite verse. This shall be my first resolution of the year, to let go of all the past that had been binding on me and let God take over of my life.

To get started, I plan to attend the Youth Service as frequent as possible. Yes, youth! I am no longer one and sometimes I feel that I am too "old" to be there. It seems like it is difficult for me to join in ,given that I have left that stage some time ago. However, I will challenge myself and pray for His direction. If He wants me to be there, surely He has His purpose.

Look to God, Focus on God! This is the thing that all of us should do. It is always easier said than done.It is not easy to let go of everything but it is a fact that when we do so, we can feel the huge difference. Last year, I took a lot of things into my own hands; from work to family to friendship. Frankly, it is so tiring. So, this year I am going to be wise and rely on Him instead.

I remember reading something sounds like this:

Don't tell God: "God, I have a big problem!"; instead we should say, "Dear Problem, I have a BIG GOD!!!"

Sometimes we really act like fool, because we choose the hard way when there is always a better way out. Of course, God's way may not be easy but if we rely on Him to go through all the obstacles, the joy and the peace that we are experiencing cannot be explained by words. Therefore, I am so not willing to be a fool again.

God is awesome, Amen! Although I was so stubborn and hard-hearted, He did not forget me. I really feel bad that I took Him for granted last year. I did not forget Him, but my focus was not so much on Him. The events that happened overwhelmed me and I was lost in my own world. I tried my best to focus on Him, but I was just overwhelmed by ME! I never thought that I can rely on myself, but at the same time I could not let go and let Him take over.

Dear Jesus,

Please forgive me for being stubborn and hard-hearted. I do not know when this started. I do not know when I stop trusting, including You, when I know that You are the only one whom I can trust and rely on. Please help me to gain back the trust that I have left behind because I need it in order to be able to let go of everything and cast it unto You. I thank You for not forgetting me, even in the times when I did not put my trust in You. Dear Holy Spirit, I pray that You will help me to cope with this weakness of mine. Please lead me through because without You I am lost. I do not want to live 'alone' anymore. I do not want to keep things that are keeping me away from You. Even though those things might be important in my life, I want to let You take over it and take care of it for me. Jesus, You are the best gift that I have received. My only way to thank You is to cast my own life unto You. Please forgive me for my weakness, and I pray that I will live by Your light, by Your wisdom and by Your guidance. Lord, teach me how to rely on You once again. I need You in my life, Abba Father.

In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.

A Wonderful Sharing [I]

My friends shared with me this ~

(1) We make those who care for us cry; we cry for those who never care for us; and we care for those who will never cry for us.

So, try our best to make those who care for us smile, do not bother those who would never care and/or cry for us!

(2) Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who dislikes you wont believe it.

(3) Insults should be written on the sand, and praises carved on the stone

(4) The tragic of life is not that we are unable to live our potentials to the fullest but unable to discover the purpose of our existence.

(5) **~The four blessed looks~** A. Look back and thank God; B. Look forward and trust God; C. Look around and serve God; D. Look within and find God!

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?" God replied, "Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!"

(6) Never blame a day in your life. Good days give you Happiness, Bad days give you Experience; both are essential in life! All are God's blessings!

The Ship [I]

Janice and Jeff are two good friends that often hang out together during their free times. Sometimes, they will share out their stories to each other. Janice appreciates this friendship and is hoping that they will be good friends.

Although they seem to enjoy each other's company, something is not right somewhere. Off and on, they will have things to be unhappy about each other. Janice feels that this is a very awkward feeling. This is when Janice thinks about the issue of sincerity.

She wonders whether Jeff looks for her only when he is bored?

She wonders whether Jeff is thinking that Janice entertains him because she is a lonely, single girl?

She wonders why Jeff can be good at times, only at times when he cares; and not during other times?

She wonders what kind of friendship is this?

Or, can this be categorised as friendship?

On one hand, Janice hopes that the friendship could be maintained. However, is it worth it? People say, we do not talk about worthiness when it comes to friendship, because it comes from heart. If we have to measure the worthiness of a friendship, then it is not longer a friendship; because we are not using our hearts to treat each other.

There are a lot of types of friendship, and I believe I shared it in my previous entry. Is there such a thing called a "degraded" friendship?

Christmas was near and Janice was preparing for Jeff's Christmas card. As she was writing the card, tears fell from her eyes, because she was crying for his soul. Jeff will not know this, because he did not receive the card. Few days before Christmas, Janice was upset because she thought that Jeff had stated something which had injured her feelings. Jeff did not know about this too.

They still keep in touch, but Janice could feel the distance between them.

Friendship, comes from the heart.

It is not only about the good times that we share,

it is also about the bad times that we experience together;

it is not about the meals that we share, that we buy each other,

it is about the time that we spent together whilst enjoying the meals;

it is not about the gifts that we get each other during the special dates,

it is about the effort of us remembering those special dates;

it is not only about the laughters that we share,

it is also about the tears that we shed together;

Friendship, is a gift from God...

Janice hopes Jeff well in the future. Although she does not know whether they will still be able to be good friends; there is no harm to keep in touch once in a while.

During the festive season, Janice was surprise to receive sms from friends that she least expected will sms her. However, that really encouraged Janice that sincere friendship still exists on this earth.

*This story is just a mere creation, any similarity is just mere coincidental.