A Letter to Pinky [I]

Dear Pinky,

Hope this finds you well.

You will be entering university soon and will be going overseas to continue your studies. I know that you would leave me behind, as you cannot bring too many things over, it will just add weight to your luggage. It is sad to know that you will leave me behind, especially after what we had been through.

A few years later when you come back, would you still remember me? Once, I was your favourite bag, but sooner or later, I will be buried deep inside your big pile of bags. What would happen to me? The thought of it scares me. I hate to be buried, hate to be forgotten, hate to be kept inside a so-called special box, forever.

Do you remember your promise to me? That you would keep me in your heart forever, that you would take care of me forever, that you would want me, that I am important to you, that I matter to you, that if one day you decided to throw me away, you would do it gently and tell me face to face.

I know each time you enter the baggies I will keep bugging you to bring me out, to spend time with me, to hold me; maybe I have been too pushy, hence you felt irritated and annoyed. Pinky, do you know how it feels to miss yet cannot do anything about it? Do you know how sad it is to miss and not to be missed in return?

Months ago, I had dreams that you pushed me away, and now it seemed that the dream has come true. You no longer call for me when you enter baggies, you are busy with Baby and always spend time with her. You know how it feels to be left behind? I overheard that you are bringing Baby along and yet time is always spent with her. Pinky, Elephy told me that for humans, if they know that they would not be around for a long period of time, they would want to spend more time with their loved ones while they are still around. Am I not in your list of loved ones?

I felt used. I felt neglected. I felt that you are just playing around with me. When you first bought me, it was just a temporary excitement and now that you have fully used me, you have known me inside out, you do not want me anymore. Do you know how that feels?

You ignore me, you avoid me, you neglect me, as though I am invisible; yet Pinky, I want to let you know that all I want is just a proper conversation between us, to sort things out. I do not blame you and I forgive you, I just want a proper goodbye. 

A bag is subject to fair wear and tear, when I do not serve my purpose anymore, where would I be in your heart?

Wish you all the best in your future.

Huggies,

LOVE ~

How I fell back in love with my husband

Falling In love is easy — falling back in love is another story.

Amanda Sparks

I fell out of love with my husband. He fell out of love with me. This was just six short years ago. And we are still married.

Thirteen years ago, I married a remarkable man. He was physically, mentally and spiritually strong. His stellar sense of humor captivated me from the moment we met. I knew I would laugh every day of my life with him. He was loyal and respectful. His brilliant mind aimed for a career in law and possibly politics. He was gentle and giving, patient and wise. Our future was bright and I loved him then.

Life's experiences, trials and opportunities have molded him into a different person. He has learned lessons from his own mistakes and the mistakes of others, including mine. He possesses different habits, qualities and characteristics today than he did all those years ago. No person can go through this life and not become a revised version of him or herself.

So when we marry, and we make vows and commitments to our loves, and for some even to God, do we understand in that moment, how very different each of us will be five, 10, 30 years down the road? Do we truly comprehend the adjustments and remodeling that will be required of us to remain in a unified marriage? I know I didn't.

We had fights about the important things, and lots of fights about nothing. We had losses — big ones. The biggest loss for me was my mother — a loss that changed me irrevocably. He was very patient and gentle. At that time I couldn't always give 100 percent; I was barely giving anything. Years of this exhausted him and inevitably changed him too. We struggled spiritually, physically, emotionally. We have individual pains and sorrows that have fused into one, both feeling the other's anguish. There are plenty of opportunities to hold on to mistakes and faults and to use them to disconnect, to give up and end what once was love.

We faced the choice to end or not to end. One night during a serious conversation, he said, "Do you still love me? Do you still want to be married to me? Do you still want to be a family?" Each of us, terrified of the other's response, asked these exact questions with calm and open hearts. I whispered, "I love you as a person and the father of our two sons, but I'm not in love with you." His feelings were identical. Unsure if things could be fixed, we both did still want to try.

We fought for our marriage, for our family. It has taken years to get to where we are today — but where we are is incredibly amazing and fulfilling. He is still all of the things he was when we married, just with altered and additional qualities. We are each other's priority, defending each other over our own family and friends. His career aspirations of old have vanished, replaced with dreams that have become reality and have taken him to places he never thought possible. He is so much more now than he was when I married him. He is so much better. And none of it is the result of my own attempts at changing him. He became who he is today because of his choices; his own desires to change.

In the years after that uncertain conversation, I have made a determined choice to step back and love my husband for who he is, just as he is, in any moment, every day. I simply let him be. Then I started to positively change who I was, who I had become. It was excrutiating some days and didn't come naturally. The more I focused on my own faults and correcting my behavior towards him, the less I saw his faults, and the more my love grew for him. Every day I made a conscious decision to stop and replace any critical thoughts about my husband that crept into my mind. As I did this, my natural thoughts regarding him became more positive and loving. Thoughts of his strengths, memories of love and laughter, and desires to serve him soon became constants in my mind. Malice and anger had been replaced with devotion and compassion. I had learned to love my husband once more, and even purer than I had before.

The biggest change that we both have made has been this: We deeply, without judgment, accept each other as we are. We accept each other's weaknesses, faults and annoying habits. Supporting each other through struggles, whatever the nature, without holding judgment, has been marriage-changing. It is a gift to be able to sit across from the man you love and say, "I am seriously struggling. I can't do this alone. I need help," and then to have him hold you, wipe your tears and love you even more than he did an hour prior to your confessions. This is what we fought for.

And today, we have a new love; a different and genuine love that has been strengthened through both joy and difficulties. It is a love only he and I could ever understand. I am a better woman because of him, and for him. He is a better man because of and for me. My hope is that my own actions and love for him will only ever encourage and allow him to be who he is destined to be. Only he knows my soul so deep and has captured my heart once again. Only him have I ever seen; only him shall I ever love.

Top 14 Hardest Courses to Study in Malaysia

By FunnyMalaysia

Studying in Malaysia is becoming a thing of choice for most students within and outside the country. This is due to the high standards and average price education offered by Malaysian Institutions as regulated by Malaysian government.

1. Urban and Regional Planning

The profession of urban and regional planning is concerned with planning, designing and managing properties and the environment. It is interdisciplinary in nature and integrates both the art and science of creating a better quality of life in a sustainable environment. To study this course in Malaysia you have to be at your best in terms of strategic reasoning and implementing of projects. At the local level the profession deals with the planning and designing of neighborhoods, towns and cities, and at the national and international levels, bigger projects.

In Malaysian Institutions, the profession seeks to balance between society and environment by managing developments through policies, strategies and plans. Students are expected to study hard to show themselves approved and worthy of being awarded Bachelor of Urban and Regional Planning [BURP] at the end of their study year. 

2. Accountancy 

Accountants are known for accuracy and integrity when it comes to calculating and handling digits. Studying Accountancy in a Malaysian Institution is very hard as they have a high standard of programme features, curriculum and award requirements. Accountancy which is the measurement, processing and communication of financial information about economic entities, in University of Malaysia Kelatan offers full-time mode based on an 8 Semester Academic Year with several subjects being delivered and assessed in each semester.

The course requires students to undergo 6 months of industrial training during the short semester of their third year. Assessment is strictly based on a Maximum of 60% final examination and the remaining allocated to coursework. Students who do not achieve a total of 146 credit hours with minimum CPA of 2 and do not Pass the Industrial Training which is equivalent to 8 credit hours will not be awarded at the end of their study year-Difficult task indeed.

3. Quantity Surveying 

Malaysia has several ares still undergoing building and construction. One will see it lucrative to study a course that will be relevant to the development of the country. However, the discipline of Quantity Surveying fits into such line of thought, irrespective of its tasking nature. Project development is an investment that involves considerable sum of money and time. The role of quantity surveyors through their education, training and experience will contribute to the effective management of construction cost, project procurement and contract administration as well as giving advice on development economics and contractual matters.

Malaysian Institutions offer graduates the opportunity to operate within the existing framework of the Quantity Surveying discipline, the construction industry and related fields. At a personal level, the undergraduate will be stimulated to adopt a professional and ethical approach that will allow personal development, foster self-respect and improve career aspirations. If you find this field interesting, look up easier ways to study it in Malaysia.

4. Law

Law is one hard course to study any where in the world, Malaysia inclusive. The course entails certain system of rules that are enforced through social institutions to govern behavior, culture and tradition. It is a professional study that usually comes with a white crown (wig) on graduating from Law School, and most parents find it prestigious to have a Lawyer as a child. Nevertheless, studying law in Malaysia is one of the hardest journey to embark on.

Law as a course has so many terminologies, acts, and by-laws that are constantly in use even in the course of studying. Most students in Malaysian Universities find it hard to assimilate these information as a result of its weight and complexity. Also Law fees in Malaysian Universities are higher than fees of other faculties, and this sometimes adds to the frustration of students who now have two things to worry about – How to pay fees and how to pass Law examinations. In a nut shell, studying law in Malaysian Universities require a lot of concentration, assimilation and dedication.

5. Bioinformatics 

Bioinformatics is an interdisciplinary field that develops methods and software tools for understanding biological data. As an interdisciplinary field of science, bioinformatics combines computer science, statistics, mathematics, and engineering to study and process biological data.

Studying Bioinformatics in any Malaysian Institution will need you to first understand biology, biotechnology and information technology, as they all make up the course. Common uses of bioinformatics include the identification of candidate genes and nucleotides (SNPs). Often, such identification is made with the aim of better understanding the genetic basis of disease, unique adaptations, desirable properties or differences between populations. Students who intend to study this course are considered bioinformatic scientists and as such needs to put themselves in the place of a scientist which makes studying more difficult.

6. International Business

Undergraduate international business programs in Malaysian Institutions is quite uneasy. It prepare students to conduct business or manage companies in a variety of global markets, by studying different cultures, learning more about a country’s culture,values, business history, labor relations, legal-economics and political systems.

At Olympia College Malaysia, Studying International Business is comprehensive and provides students with a broad introduction to management, international business, foreign culture and global business environments. Entry enrollment requires: A minimum 2 GCE A levels passes, or equivalent qualifications, Demonstration of English Language proficiency with a TOEFL paper based test score of 500, and a Computer based test score of 173.

7. Information Technology

With the world becoming increasingly borderless, demand for IT specialists is increasing. If you are interested in studying Information Technology in any Malaysian Institution, be ready to stand up to the task ahead. Olympia College and other institutions in Malaysia offer Diploma in Information Technology (DIT) to develop students with computing as a scientific and technological discipline, preparing them as programmers and software developers. IT students are considered brain box and computer gurus, to be one, you need to read all required school texts and materials 24/7.

8. Medicine 

Studying Medicine usually comes hand in hand with studying surgery operations. This course can be extremely tough in Malaysia owing to the fact that its MBBS has different phases every semester. A student must pass all the examination required in every phase before proceeding to another phase of another level/year. More so, MBBS exams are usually complex. Intensive study is needed and most times students substitute their social life for studies. Medical students are always put under pressure because their job entails human lives, one tiny mistake and a soul is gone. The studies can be scaring at times when students get to work with carcass, blood, and wounded people. It takes courage to study Medicine and Surgery in Malaysia.

9. Molecular Biology

Biomolecular engineering is the application of engineering practices and principles to purposefully manipulate molecules of biological origin. Chemical engineering involves manipulation of non-biological molecules. These two courses are interrelated and usually taken together in most institutions in Malaysia.

The entire subjects studied are quite challenging. It involves studying structures, functions as well as properties. The hardest part includes bio-medical engineering of molecules (recombinant DNA, site-directed mutagenesis, bio-immobilization and bio-conjugation, polymerase chain reaction and enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay-ELISA). You will have to love the laboratory if you wish to pursue this course in Malaysia.

10. Political Science 

Political science is a social science that deals with systems of government and the analysis of political activity and political behavior. It deals extensively with the theory and practicals of politics which is commonly thought of as the determining of the distribution of power and resources. To study Political science in a Malaysian Institution, you should observe the political scene of the country and attempt to marry it with politics as it were on paper. The mistake most students make while choosing this course is that they assume all Political Scientists will end as Politicians in the Government – which is not far fetched though.

11. Hotel Operations and Management 

In Olympia College Malaysia students who intend to study Hotel Operations and Management without the required SPM credits can only obtain a Diploma in Hotel Management via the Certificate in Hotel Operations (CHO) programme. The institution offers the following course modules: Principles of Front Office, Introduction to Hospitality Industry, Computer Application, Bahasa Malaysia, Safety & Hygiene, Food Studies, Pengaji Islam/Pendidikan Moral, Housekeeping, Pengajian Malaysia and Industrial Placement. Through rigorous evaluation, extensive training and advanced technological implementation, students are constantly lectured on how to run hotels at optimum levels.

12. English Language 

An English language Student is a person who is learning the English language in addition to his or her native language. The instruction and assessment of students, their cultural background, and the attitudes of classroom teachers towards English Language is one basic training students require (especially those from non-English speaking countries). Swinburne Sarawak Malaysia offers two types of English Language courses: intensive and supplementary. The Intensive English runs in the months before the foundation or degree course. The Supplementary English units runs during the degree course. Most English language courses in Malaysia can help students with Reading and writing English, Speaking and listening skills and Progressing to higher levels of study.

13. Graphic Design 

Graphic design is the process of visual communication, and problem-solving through the use of type, space and image. The field is considered a subset of visual communication and communication design. The Sarawak Malaysia among other countries in the country offers Diploma in Graphic Designs. Studying design at Swinburne Sarawak allows you to combine your creativity with business sense and industry insight. Harness your imagination and take part in the innovative design thinking that will define the 21st century.

Swinburne Sarawak Malaysia multimedia design course offers creators and innovators any number of possible careers: advertising/art director, animator, cinematographer, design manager, exhibition designer, graphic designer/illustrator, packaging designer, post-production visual eff. Multimedia University Malaysia also offers a Bachelor degree in Multimedia Design.

14. Engineering 

Engineering means to apply scientific and practical knowledge in order to invent, design, build, maintain, research, and improve structures, machines, devices, systems, materials and processes. Several Institutions in Malaysia offer this course and it is difficult to both get an admission entry and to survive the heat of the course while studying it.

In a nut shell, the above 14 courses mentioned are therefore considered top hardest courses to study in Malaysia. In case you are interested in pursuing any of these courses, brace up to give your best because you would otherwise be frustrated in the course of study.

Stop Believing God Told You to Marry Your Spouse

Gary Thomas 

Author

“It’s been miserable, Gary,” the woman confessed. “We’ve only been married for three years but it has been the worst three years of my life. My husband has just been awful. And what frustrates me so much is that God confirmed that I was supposed to marry him, ten times over.”

You could have served the bitterness in her voice to a thousand people.

In another conversation, another woman, married not just years, but decades, to a man who proved to be pathological, slipped in the same sigh and words, “But God told me to marry him.”

To these and many others who said, “God told me to marry him/her,” I want to cry out, “No, he didn’t.”

How can I say that?

My response is simple: How can you say the opposite?

There is nothing in Scripture that suggests there is just one person we’re ‘supposed’ to marry. Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice—there is no mention of second guessing some divine destiny. In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul tells women (widows, in particular) to seriously consider singleness, but assures them the choice of whether to get married is up to them, and then specifically says women can marry “whomever they wish” as long as their potential husband is ‘in the Lord.’ (v. 39) If theBible explicitly says, ‘it’s your call whether or not to get married’ (a sentiment Jesus echoes when he says some “choose” to become eunuchs—celibate—in Matthew 19:12, with emphasis on the word “choose”) and it’s entirely your choice as to who to marry, why should your subjective feelings and reasoning override living by the truth of Scripture?

There is, quite frankly, nothing in Scripture that ever tells us it is our sworn duty to marry one particular person. Whether we marry, and who we marry, are spoken of in Scripture as part of God’s “permissive will,” something he allows us to choose.

Is it possible God has told a couple to get married? Look, I’m not going to put God in a box. I can’t say “he can do this but he can never do that” (and thus I’m admitting the title of this blog post is a bit provocative to make a point). All I can say is that the clearest scriptural teaching makes marriage our choice—both as to whether we get married and to whom we marry. Presuming that some mystical leaning you’ve received overrides a clear biblical teaching is always risky and often foolish (regardless of how many times God seems to subjectively “confirm” this call; after all, God objectively said something very different in Scripture).

Why does this matter?

To move forward, we have to own up to our choices—why we made them and how to be responsible in the face of them. To a woman who was abused by her dad and then married an abusive husband, I’d say, with a pastoral heart, “You were deeply sinned against and hurt. The kind of man you felt ‘comfortable’ with, because of your upbringing, wasn’t good for you, so you chose a man who continued your father’s practices. Psychologically, that’s perfectly explainable, but let’s discuss how the grace of Christ can redeem your situation, help you evaluate what the right thing to do now is, and help you make better choices in the future.” I would never tell a woman who had been abused by her dad that God’s “perfect will” was for her to also marry a violent husband. There is nothing about the biblical doctrine of God’s providence that demands that application, unless you slip all the way over to determinism.

Far healthier, spiritually, than to sit in resentment against God, is to say to yourself, “I chose this man/woman. It might or might not help to explore why. But since I made the choice of my own free will, I bear certain responsibilities for the commitment I have made.” Then God becomes your ally, not your enemy, in helping you face the future. Instead of, “God, why did you lead me into this mess?” you’ll pray, “God, help lead me out of the mess I’ve made.”

That’s a huge difference, spiritually speaking.

On another level, the virtues of kindness, faithfulness and goodness demand that if I convinced someone to marry me, or agreed to marry someone,knowing it was a lifetime commitment, knowing it would be beyond complicated to dissolve the union, I need to step up to face the lifetime consequences. That means not just staying married but staying engaged in the marriage, working to make it the best for this person that I can.

If you’re a single person reading this, I implore you to avoid trying to “second guess” God’s will as to who you “should” marry and instead look for the character qualities in a spouse the Bible exalts. What I’m saying may not sound very romantic, but please realize that the consequences to living by a sentimental romanticism are real—and in the case of marriage, can be long-lasting. I just received an email last week, saying, “Sadly, I was one of those people who believed with all my heart that God has only one person for me to marry. I also believed that God would do the choosing. I believed it was God’s will for me to marry my husband. This has had disastrous consequences. Based on all the things you outlined in The Sacred Search, my husband and I should not have gotten married.”

Here’s what I’m going to insist on: Just because you think God wants you to marry one particular person, doesn’t mean he does. And just because God doesn’t stop you from marrying someone doesn’t mean he agrees with you that it’s a wise decision (he didn’t “stop” a lot of people from robbing banks who are even now serving time in prison). He will never forsake you. He will be with you every second of that marriage, giving you the grace of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to live by your decision, but he has stated in his word that it is your decision, so it is risky to assume otherwise.

Rise up to your regal calling in Christ and own your decision. Of course, seek God’s blessing, but just as much, seek his wisdom in Scripture. While the Bible is silent on how you can definitively know who you’re “supposed” to marry, it does talk about the process of making wise decisions—applying biblical principles, seeking wise counsel, being deliberate and wise in your choice, considering the future, and basing your decision on the right priorities.

http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/relationships/no-god-didn-t-tell-you-to-marry-your-spouse.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fbpage&utm_campaign=cwupdate

Ten things we’ll regret ten years later

"If only..." These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

We found ten choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret. This is how you can elude them.

1. Wearing a mask to impress others

If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgements of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

2. Letting someone else create your dreams for you

The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Do you have people who disagree with you? Good. It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.

3. Keeping negative company

Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4. Being selfish and egotistical

A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.

5. Avoiding change and growth

If you want to know your past look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future look into your present actions. You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back. If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success.

6. Giving up when the going gets tough

There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. Learn what you can and move on. The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end. Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory. It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.

7. Trying to micromanage every little thing

Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots.

8. Settling for less than you deserve

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before. Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again. Don’t settle.

9. Endlessly waiting until tomorrow

The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do. But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do. And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

10. Being lazy and wishy-washy

The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something. So stop daydreaming and start DOING. Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. Take full responsibility for your life — take control. You are important and you are needed. It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

Source: marcandangel.com

Ke Yi De Hua - Fish Leong (可以的話 - 梁靜茹)

每一次你不開心 我也跟著傷心

Mei yi ci ni bu kai xin wo ye gen zhe shang xin

我們的心那麼近 一定很有默契

Wo men de xin na me jin yi ding hen you mo qie

不必想該做什麼才算夠得體

Bu bi xiang gai zuo shen me cai suan gou de ti

我始終相信 那天你會聽見誠實的聲音

Wo shi zhong xiang xin na tian ni hui ting jian cheng shi de sheng yin

*

我知道愛並不是 誰能取代誰

Wo zhi dao ai bing bu shi shui neng qu dai shui

可是我想幫你撿起無謂的心碎

Ke shi wo xiang bang ni jian qi wu wei de xin sui

**

可以的話 我們重新來過

Ke yi de hua wo men chong xin lai guo

可以的話 讓我彌補他犯的錯

Ke yi de hua rang wo mi bu ta fan de cuo

旅途的美景還有很多 何必固執逗留這段殘破

Lue tu de mei jing hai you hen duo he bi gu zhi dou liu zhe duan can po

可以的話 轉過身看看我

Ke yi de hua zhuan guo shen kan kan wo

可以的話 讓我鬆開你的枷鎖

Ke yi de hua rang wo song kai ni de jia suo

迷途的流星點點墜落 總有一顆在夢中閃爍

Mi tu de liu xing dian dian zhui luo zong you yi ke zai meng zhong shan shuo

在每個人的身體裡 都有兩個自己

Zai mei ge ren de shen ti li dou you liang ge zi ji

一個在表面堅強 一個躲在心底

Yi ge zai biao mian qiang yi ge duo zai xin di

如果時間夠長了 就能看清晰

Ru guo shi jian gou chang le jiu neng kan qing xi

我不會放棄 那天簡單的愛能創造奇跡

Wo bu hui fang qi na tian jian dan de ai neng chuang zao qi ji

Repeat *

**

可以的話 轉過身看看我

Ke yi de hua zhuan guo shen kan kan wo

可以的話 讓我鬆開你的枷鎖

Ke yi de hua rang wo song kai ni de jia suo

我們都曾經那麼寂寞 才真的懂彼此的軟弱

Wo men dou ceng jing na me ji mo cai zhen de dong bi ci de run ruo


http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ke-yi-de-hua-%E5%8F%AF%E4%BB%A5%E7%9A%84%E8%A9%B1-if-its-possible.html#ixzz3sTqUaIGM

If it's possible

Everytime you're sad, I become sad as well

Our hearts are tight, and seems to be in sync

There's no need to think what should be done in order to be decent

I always believe, someday you could hear sound of honesty

I know, love isn't about whom replacing whom

But I, I wanna pick up those meaningless heartbreaks for you

If it's possible, we could start it all over again

If it's possible, let me make up his mistakes

There're still much scenery in the journey

Why obstinating and staying on these ruins?

If it's possible, turn back and look at me

If it's possible, let me set you free

The stray meteors fall gradually, and there's always one flashing in the dream

Inside everyone's body, two owns lodged

One acting brave superficially, one hiding itself behind

If time passes, they would come into focus

I won't give up, 'cause someday simple love can make a miracle

I know, love isn't about whom replacing whom

But I, I wanna pick up those meaningless heartbreaks for you

If it's possible, we could start it all over again

If it's possible, let me make up his mistakes

There're still much scenery in the journey

Why obstinating and staying on these ruins?

If it's possible, turn back and look at me

If it's possible, let me set you free

Both of us used to be alone, thus we understand each other's weakness

Top 10: Worst Ways To Break Up With A Woman

Christine Argue

Neil Sedaka’s 1962 hit “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” is not a pop song, it’s a statement of fact. Ending a relationship is never easy -- there’s always hurt, frustration, upset, and general unpleasantness. Though it’s not ever something that you can transform into a barrel of laughs, there are gradations of bad when it comes to ways to breaking up (and we're going to explore the worst ways to break up with a woman). After all, not all exes are immediately classed as pariahs. It is possible to have good memories of a past love gone wrong. However, you need to realize that no matter how much you've invested, no matter how many sweet and romanticthings you've done, if you mess up the split itself, that’s how you’ll be remembered.

Think about it: It’s the last thing you’ll do as a couple, and if it’s horrible, it’ll be the first thing she’ll recall whenever she thinks about you. This translates into a pretty bad public relations move on your part given that if there’s one thing you can say about women, it’s that they talk. Certainly, women are resilient. The tears will dry and she’ll recover, but in the interest of upping the potential for fond recollection, you might wish to avoid the following worst ways to break up with a woman.

10. Under the influence

A little Dutch courage might make taking the plunge a touch easier, but a sloppy split becomes all the more sloppy if you’ve had one or two or a few too many. Being high is also, quite obviously, ill advised. It is near guaranteed that breaking up will not go well if you’re giggling uncontrollably, paranoid, jonesing for barbecue chips, or experiencing the symptoms of having used altering chemicals. This goes for her as well; if you know she’s not all there, it’s one of the worst ways to break up with a woman. You want to make sure that you are both of sound mind when it'stime to break up.

9. With cliches

Let’s just be clear here. Saying: “It’s not you, it’s me” is ridiculous. You’rebreaking up with her. You don’t want to be with her. There’s something (or some things) about her that you just aren’t into. Also, saying: “Let’s be friends” is plain disrespectful. If you’re ditching the situation, you owe her the respect of taking a step back. Leave her alone. If you ended it, you have no say on the friendship potential. That’s her choice, and you need to suck it up, stay away and ditch the cliche mode as it is definitely one of the worst ways to break up with a woman.

8. Remotely

Yes, this is the 21st century, but breaking up is pretty much stuck in the past. Don’t even think about ending it online. Dear John letters have always been disastrous, so the modern equivalent via e-mail is completely unacceptable and flagged as one of the worst ways to break up with a woman. Yes, advances in online chatting and instant messaging now allow you to see and hear, but it still ain't live. Phone call breakups have never been easy, so be a man: Do it in person. And if all this doesn’t tell you that text messaging is an absolute no-no, you’re probably too far gone to be helped anyway.

7. Mid date

Telling her that it’s over before, during or after a date is the emotional equivalent of an ambush. It’s just not honest. She’ll know immediately that your plans were disingenuous because that’s in fact exactly what they were. If the goal of the meeting is to finish the relationship, tell her that you need to discuss the relationship. Don’t tell her you’re going out for dinner or watching a movie -- and it doesn’t matter what movie, because a post-date breakup is bound to have an unhappy ending.

6. Post-milestone

If you have any inkling that it might not be right, you don’t want to be making any major moves like purchasing a house or a puppy. Everyone knows that divorce is not a walk in the park, but it’s also difficult to dissolve the partnership if you’ve decided to move in, buy a house, get a car, or make any other investment together. If making that investment doesn’t sit well, you need to get out of there. It’s never too late to end a bad situation, but why make it especially hard on both you and her by waiting even a minute too long and making it one of the worst ways to break up with a woman?

5. By assumption

Sure, you’re clear on how you feel, but you’d better be sure she is too. Don’t take it for granted that a brief mention of how things aren’t going terribly well will be accepted as an end to the affair. What you say can be taken a number of different ways. You need to make sure that you limit this possibility for interpretation, so spell it out. Don’t count on anything less than a clear statement that the relationship is done. If you’re not saying it, she’s not going to hear it.

4. Through provocation

When a little boy pesters a little girl, it usually means that he has a thing for her. If, instead of getting straight to the point, you turn pestering into provocation to locate a convenient moment to dissolve the partnership, this is going to be mighty confusing, annoying and angering for her and it's one of the worst ways to break up with a woman. Sure, you may disagree over which CSI is superior, but if you make this the relationship-defining issue, you can count on being confirmed as crazy.

3. Publicly

Though from the outset, it may seem like a good idea to break the news in a public place, it’s like a no-man’s land, and that’s just the problem. With public breakups there’s no telling what might happen. In this situation, the event is simply not contained. If she gets upset, then you're responsible for making her cry in public. If she’s angry, you look bad as well. Public humiliation is never desirable (for you or her), so close the door to this possibility and stick to locations that offer you and your soon-to-be ex a level of privacy.

2. By cheating

It’s guaranteed that it’ll be over if she finds out you’ve cheated, but you’ll also be forever known as the bastard she caught cheating. It doesn’t matter how much you want to get out, or how much another woman catches your fancy, you’re bound to look bad if there’s any awkward overlap. Also, once you’ve done the deed, you’re technically available immediately, but if you want to up the positive-memory potential, you’ll probably want to wait it out a bit (like the notice you provide when leaving a job, a couple weeks is probably enough) before bouncing back into the dating scene.

1. Through avoidance

Again, clarity is the best policy. Yes, if you just quit answering phone calls, texts, e-mails, and your door, she’s bound to get the message, however, she’s also bound to get mighty upset, and you should know this is the worst way to break up with a woman. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment -- because it will take time and energy to dodge and weave between repeated cracks at communication -- take the high road and end it with dignity. She’ll most certainly still be hurt, but she won’t be left with the image of you as an unfeeling, insensitive ass who won’t pick up the phone.

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-worst-ways-to-break-up-with-a-woman_1.html

周杰倫 Jay Chou【算什麼男人 What Kind of Man】

算什麼男人 What Kind of Man

親吻你的手

還靠著你的頭

讓你躺胸口

那個人已不是我

這些平常的舉動現在叫做難過

喔～難過

日子開始過

我沒你照樣過

不會很難受

我會默默的接受

反正在一起時你我都有開心過

就足夠

我的溫暖你的冷漠讓愛起霧了

如果愛心畫在起霧的窗是模糊

還是更清楚

CHORUS

你算什麼男人

算什麼男人

眼睜睜看她走卻不聞不問

是有多天真 就別再硬撐

期待你挽回你卻拱手讓人

你算什麼男人

算什麼男人

還愛著她卻不敢叫她再等

沒差 你再繼續認份

她會遇到更好的男人

https://youtu.be/v489sYYjtHI

小幸運 Xiao Xing Yun (Simple Happiness)

Lyrics: 徐世珍 Jennifer Hsu / 吳輝福

Melody: JerryC

Arrangement: JerryC

我聽見雨滴落在青青草地

I hear the rain drops falling on the greens

我聽見遠方下課鐘聲響起

I hear the school bells far away ringing

可是我沒有聽見你的聲音

But I don’t hear your voice

認真 呼喚我姓名

Earnestly calling out my name

愛上你的時候還不懂感情

When I fell for you I didn’t understand love

離別了才覺得刻骨 銘心

Only in farewell did I know how deeply imprinted it was

為什麼沒有發現遇見了你

Why did I not realize having met you

是生命最好的事情

Was the best thing that happened in my life

也許當時忙著微笑和哭泣

Perhaps I was too busy smiling and crying

忙著追逐天空中的流星

Busy chasing the shooting stars in the skies

人理所當然的忘記

People naturally forget

是誰風裏雨裏一直默默守護在原地

The one who silently stood by us in face of the winds and rain

Chorus

原來你是我最想留住的幸運

So you turned out to be the happiness I most wanted to hold on to

原來我們和愛情曾經靠得那麼近

So we were once that close to love

那為我對抗世界的決定

Deciding to turn against the world for me

那陪我淋的雨

Accompanying me in the rain

一幕幕都是你 一塵不染的真心

Every scene is you, a pure and sincere heart

與你相遇 好幸運

Having met you is my fortune

可我已失去為你淚流滿面的權利

Yet I have lost the right to cry for you

但願在我看不到的天際

May it be at a place where I can’t see

你張開了雙翼

That you spread your wings

遇見你的註定 (oh–) 她會有多幸運

And meet your destiny (oh~) How lucky will she be

青春是段跌跌撞撞的旅行

Youth is a stumbling journey

擁有著後知後覺的美麗

Blessed with the beauty of hindsight

來不及感謝是你給我勇氣

I can’t thank you in time for giving me courage

讓我能做回我自己

To become myself again

http://www.the-tiens.com/hebetien/lyrics-%E5%B0%8F%E5%B9%B8%E9%81%8B-xiao-xing-yun/

Wǒ tīngjiàn yǔdī luò zài qīngqīng cǎodì

wǒ tīngjiàn yuǎnfāng xiàkè zhōng shēng xiǎngqǐ

kěshì wǒ méiyǒu tīngjiàn nǐ de shēngyīn

rènzhēn hūhuàn wǒ xìngmíng

ài shàng nǐ de shíhòu hái bù dǒng gǎnqíng

líbiéle cái juédé kègǔmíngxīn

wèishéme méiyǒu fāxiàn yùjiànle nǐ

shì shēngmìng zuì hǎo de shìqíng

yěxǔ dāngshí mángzhe wéixiào hé kūqì

mángzhe zhuīzhú tiānkōng zhōng de liúxīng

rén lǐsuǒdāngrán de wàngjì

shì shuí fēng lǐ yǔ lǐ yīzhí mòmò shǒuhù zàiyuán dì

Chorus

yuánlái nǐ shì wǒ zuì xiǎng liú zhù de xìngyùn

yuánlái wǒmen hé àiqíng céngjīng kào dé nàme jìn

nà wèi wǒ duìkàng shìjiè de juédìng

nà péi wǒ lín de yǔ

yīmù mù dōu shì nǐ yīchénbùrǎn de zhēnxīn

yǔ nǐ xiāngyù hǎo xìngyùn

kě wǒ yǐ shīqù wèi nǐ lèi liú mǎnmiàn de quánlì

dàn yuàn zài wǒ kàn bù dào de tiānjì

nǐ zhāng kāile shuāng yì

yùjiàn nǐ de zhùdìng

tā huì yǒu duō xìngyùn

qīngchūn shì duàn diédiézhuàngzhuàng de lǚxíng

yǒngyǒuzhe hòu zhī hòu jué dì měilì

láibují gǎnxiè shì nǐ gěi wǒ yǒngqì

ràng wǒ néng zuò huí wǒ zìjǐ

http://klyrics.net/hebe-tien-a-little-happiness-lyrics-chinese-pinyin/

"3 Pieces of Advice vs 20 Years of Salary"

A very poor newly wedded, young couple lived in a small farm. One day the husband made the following proposal to his wife:

- Honey, I will leave the house: I will travel faraway, get a job and work hard in order to come back and give you the comfortable life that you deserve. I do not know how long I will stay away, I only ask one thing, please wait for me, and while I am away, you should be faithful to me, because I will be faithful to you.

So the young man left. He walked many days until he found a farmer who was in need of someone to help him. The young man offered his services. He was accepted. Therefore he discussed the terms with his boss:

- Let me work for as long as I want and when I think I should go home, please relieve me of my duties. I do not want to receive my salary. I ask you to save it for me, until the day I leave. The day I decide to go, please give me the money and I will go my way.

They agreed on that. So, the young man worked for twenty years without holiday and without rest. After twenty years, he came to his boss and said:

- Boss, I want my money, because I am returning to my home.

The boss replied:

- All right, after all, I made a deal with you and I will stick to it. However, before you go I want to offer you something new: I will give you all your money and send you away; or I will give you 3 pieces of advice and send you away. If I give you the money, I do not give you the 3 pieces of advice. And if I give you the 3 pieces of advice, I will not give you the money. Now, go to your room and think about your answer.

He thought for two days. Then he went to the boss and told him:

- I want the 3 pieces of advice.

The boss stressed again:

- If I give you the 3 pieces of advice, I will not give you the money.

And the man replied:

- I want the 3 pieces of advice.

The boss then told him:

- No. 1: Never take shortcuts in your life, shorter and unknown paths can cost your life.

- No. 2: Never be too curious, for curiosity towards evil can be deadly.

- No. 3: Never make decisions in moments of anger or pain, because when you repent, it could be too late.

After giving these 3 pieces of advice, the boss said to him:

- Here, you have 3 loaves of bread, 2 are for you to eat during the journey and the last is for you to eat with your wife when you get home.

So, the man went his way, after twenty years away from home and from his wife, whom he loved so much.

After the first day of travel, he found a man who greeted him and asked:

- Where are you going?

He replied:

- To a distant place which is about 20 days away if I continue walking.

The man said to him:

- Ol' boy, this path is too long! I know a shortcut that is very safe and you will arrive in 5 days only.

The man began to follow the path suggested until he remembered the first piece of advice. Then, he returned and followed the long path. Days later he learned that the shortcut led to an ambush.

After a few more days of travel, he found an inn by the roadside, where he could rest. He paid for a room and after taking a bath he lay down to sleep.

During the night he woke up as he heard a terrifying scream. He rose to his feet and went to the door to check what happened. As he was opening the door, he remembered the second piece of advice. Therefore he returned, lay down again and slept.

At dawn, after breakfast, the owner of the lodging asked him if he had not heard the scream at night. He affirmed that he heard. Then, the host said:

- Were you not curious to see what happened?

And he replied:

- No, I was not.

Then the host said:

- You are the first guest to leave this inn alive. My neighbour is completely crazy. He usually shouts at night to call someone’s attention. When some of the guests come out, he kills them and buries their bodies in the backyard.

The man continued his long journey, eager to arrive soon. After many days and nights walking, he was very tired, but he finally saw his house far away.

It was night. He saw some light coming out of the window of his house and was able to see the silhouette of his wife. But he also saw that she was not alone. He came closer and saw there was a man with her. She softly caressed his hair.

When he saw that scene, his heart was filled with hatred and bitterness. He decided to rush at and kill them both mercilessly. However, he took a deep breath and he remembered the third piece of advice.

Then he stopped, reflected and decided to sleep outside that night. He slept in the midst of the bushes, determined to make a decision the next day. At dawn, he was calmer and thought:

- I will not kill my wife and her lover. I am going back to my boss to ask him to take me back. But before I go, I want to tell my wife that I have always been faithful to her.

He went to the front door and knocked. When his wife opened the door and recognized him, she cried and embraced him warmly. He tried to push her away, but he was not able. Then, with tears in his eyes he told her:

- I was faithful to you but you betrayed me.

She was shocked, so she replied:

- How did I betray you? I have never betrayed you. I waited patiently for you for twenty good years.

Then he asked:

- How about the man that you were caressing yesterday?

And she said:

- That man is your son. When you left, I discovered I was pregnant. Today he is twenty years old.

Hearing that, the man asked her forgiveness. He met and hugged his son. Then he told them all the things he had experienced while away. Meanwhile, his wife prepared some coffee for them to eat together, the last bread given by his boss.

After a prayer of thanksgiving, he broke the bread. When he looked at it, he found all his money inside. In fact, there was even more than the right payment for his twenty years of dedication and hard work.

Friends, our God is like this boss. When he asks us to make a sacrifice, he wants to give us more than what we give Him. He wants us to have His unique wisdom as well as the material blessings.

Someone sent this piece to me and it blessed me and I copied it to you so it may bless you too. 

(by Henry King)

Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)

I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her.

I did want to be with this one. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual. She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and short-circuit my brain with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms was my happy place. I loved her wildly.

Unfortunately, as happens with many young couples, our ignorance of how to do love well quickly created stressful challenges in our relationship. Before long, once my early morning blissful reverie gave way to the strained, immature ways of our everyday life together, I would often wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.

As the months passed and that thought reverberated more and more through my head, I chose her less and less. Every day, for five years, I chose her a little less.

I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.

Choosing her would have meant focusing every day on the gifts she was bringing into my life that I could be grateful for: her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship, and so … much … more.

Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace – or even see – what was so wildly wonderful about her.

I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me. The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behavior. Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less.

Thus did our nasty death spiral play itself out over five years.

She fought hard to make me choose her. That’s a fool’s task. You can’t make someone choose you, even when they might love you.

To be fair, she didn’t fully choose me, either. The rage-fueled invective she often hurled at me was evidence enough of that.

I realize now, however, that she was often angry because she didn’t feel safe with me. She felt me not choosing her every day, in my words and my actions, and she was afraid I would abandon her.

Actually, I did abandon her.

By not fully choosing her every day for five years, by focusing on what bothered me rather than what I adored about her, I deserted her.

Like a precious fragrant flower I brought proudly into my home but then failed to water, I left her alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat of our intimate relationship.

I’ll never not choose another woman I love again.

It’s torture for everyone.

If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question:

“Why am I choosing my partner today?”

If you can’t find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one. It could be as simple as noticing that in your deepest heart’s truth, “I just do.”

If you can’t find it today, ask yourself again tomorrow. We all have disconnected days.

But if too many days go by and you just can’t connect with why you’re choosing your partner, and your relationship is rife with stress, let them go. Create the opening for another human being to show up and see them with fresh eyes and a yearning heart that will enthusiastically choose them every day.

Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen. Every day.

You do, too.

https://bryanreeves.com/choose-her-everyday-or-leave-her

The One Word That Can Kill a Friendship

... and three friendship-preserving alternatives.

Kira Asatryan

The Art of Closeness

There’s this word that you probably useall the time. It’s a seemingly harmless word—close to meaningless, really—but it’s slowly, subversively tainting your relationships.

Look back over any recent texts and emails you’ve sent to friends. If they look something like this, you’re caught in this word's trap:

“I’d love to hang out! But I’m really busy.”

“Sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier! I’ve been so busy.”

“What’s going on with me? Just busy as usual!”

You guessed it. The single-word saboteur is busy. It’s stealthily driving your friends away, and it’s time to eliminate it from your social vocabulary.

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with actually being busy: People can certainly have many obligations and still maintain great relationships. And it’s not being busy that drives people away; it’s the word itself.

Let’s discuss the top three reasons it’s time to be done with “busy”… and three ways to replace it with something better.

1. Everyone is Busy.

These days, saying you’re busy is basically like saying you’re alive. Being busy may once have been an indicator of importance; it may once have implied that many people and projects relied on you. Now, it’s a filler word that can be applied to any situation: You could be 10 years into your job and be “busy.” You could be between jobs and be “busy.” You could be vacationing and be “busy.” The word itself no longer relates to any specific, making it basically meaningless—and meaningless language is a problem for relationships because it doesn’t help other people understand what, specifically, you’re going through. It actually impedes mutual understanding.

2. It’s Open to (Negative) Interpretation.

The vague nature of “I’m really busy” leaves the real reason why you’re being unavailable to a friend open to interpretation. While many people will accept “being busy” as enough of a reason for not hanging out the first few times you use it, eventually friends will see it as a veil over a more sinister reason for staying away: Maybe you don’t like them anymore and are too afraid to say it.

In other words, “busy” allows others to fill in the blank of your true intentions. Often, they will fill that blank with a negative assumption. In a worst-case scenario, friends may feel like your "busy” is a way of blowing them off without having to state a reason for doing so.

3. It’s a “Not Right Now.”

Often, “busy” simply means that you have higher priorities right now than seeing friends—which is totally fine. You may be caring for a child or launching a new product; there are lots of legitimate reasons why friendships fall down one’s list of priorities. The issue is that “ being busy” doesn’t communicate any of that. In a previous post, 5 Phrases That Can Kill a Relationship, I wrote that the phrase “not right now” is a relationship killer because it fosters a feeling of rejection. “Busy” is the friendship equivalent of “not right now.” It lacks a sense of caring about the other person and fosters distance as a result.

3 Better Options

All that being said, just because “busy” is not a word that generates closeness, that doesn’t mean you can’t communicate the same thing in a way that does. Here are some tips for telling your friends you just can’t right now, without hurting their feelings:

1. Be Specific.

There’s an easy way to eliminate the vagueness of “busy” and that’s telling friends specifically what you’re busy doing. Of course, this takes more of your time and effort—something that can be challenging when you’re already really swamped. But it’s worth doing because the difference in how the message is received is significant.

Let’s say you invite a friend to your birthday party and she writes back: “I’d love to but I’m really busy!” But what if she had written: “I’d love to but Jack has a karate competition that evening and he specifically asked me to watch him this time. Have some champagne for me, though!”

Feel the difference? The second message explains your friend’s reasoning, gives context, and communicates that she’s still invested in your happiness. The first message, frankly, is a blow-off.

2. Set a Time Frame.

If you’re busy because of an especially difficult crunch time either at work or at home, it’s helpful to make your friends aware of just how long this “busy” time will last. For example, if you know your project will wrap up in a month and your schedule will open up soon after, communicate your desire to reconnect with everyone then. Even if that month turns into two, your friends will appreciate that you expressed the desire to be together again as soon as possible.

3. Determine if You Need to Have a Difficult Conversation.

And now, it’s time to confront the dark side of “busy.” As we all know, “being busy” can be a method by which we disengage from a relationship we no longer want to have. The kids call it “ghosting"—distancing yourself from a relationship without ever explaining why. If you’re using “busy” in this way, it’s worth determining if you need to have that difficult conversation with the person you’re ghosting. While it’s always uncomfortable to “break up” with a friend, some friendships deserve this attention. In some cases, it’ll cause great sadness to both parties to “busy” a friendship to death.