TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS: Part 2 of 2

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS:
(in no particular order)

Part 2 of 2:

6. Stop obsessive seeking: Learn to trust that God knows whom you should be with if its in His will for you to marry, and trust that He will bring you two together when His time is right. Stop looking at every member of the opposite sex as a potential mate to be run through the evaluation mill, and at every member of the same sex as competition. Those attitudes can end up leading you into constant disappointment, jealousy, and dissatisfaction. While you're at it, avoid being a ‘blind shooter' jumping around from field to field with the desperate belief that the more ‘options' you have the better your chances of finding ‘the one'. God knows who that one will be; you don't need to meet hundreds of men/women to find him/her. Trust Him.

7. Use this time to prepare yourself for marriage: If you are seeking to marry a Godly Christian, strive to be the type of person that you would want to marry. There may be qualities/traits or areas in your life that God will need to refine and work in before you will be ready for marriage. Be open to God's direction and strive to hear His voice and to stay in tune with His will.

8. Spend daily time in Bible study and prayer: Again on the issue of time, as a person who is single, you're probably blessed with more undisturbed time and have fewer distractions than does the mother or father who has two or three children potentially entering the room at any time. Take advantage of the time you have been given and do some serious Bible study, enjoy longer undisturbed prayer times - try becoming a prayer warrior and interceding on behalf of others (this too is a great way to keep from becoming self-focused on your own loneliness or needs)

9. Pray regularly for your future spouse: Sure you may not know them or their needs, but God does. Statistically speaking, chances are strong you will marry one day, and your future spouse is out there somewhere. How awesome to think that although miles and years may separate you at this time, God knows and sees you both! You will spend the rest of your life praying with and for this person, so why not start now? Pray that God will meet his/her needs (God knows what they are), pray for growth in that person's faith, for their strength to stand up boldly for the truth, and for their courage and strength to remain sexually pure and avoid to temptation.... etc. You can also pray that God might be preparing both of you for your marriage and for His will to be done.

10. Above all: Remember your first love: Use this time in your life to learn to truly love God above all else. Only once you are able to love God and be satisfied in Him alone will you be able to reciprocate that love and love someone else with the unconditional love He gives you. Only God's love can truly satisfy your personal need for love.

CONCLUSION: Enjoying your singleness doesn't mean having to resort yourself to a lifetime of it, it only means being happy during the time it's here.

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS: Part 1 of 2

TOP TEN TIPS TO ENJOYING A GODLY SINGLENESS
(in no particular order)

Part 1 of 2:

1. Stay busy! You won't have time to sit and mope about how lonely you are if you stay active and put your time to doing something useful and positive. Learn to see this time of singleness as a blessing, not as a curse or a trial to be endured.

2. Try something new: People who are married and have families need to devote a lot of time to them. Despite your homework or work schedule, at this time in your life you are blessed with a lot more free time to do things outside of the home than you will ever have again. Enjoy it! Take on a new hobby, join a good cause, go on a short term mission...

3. Be spontaneous: Along with extra time comes the time to do more things on the spur of the moment. Yours is the only schedule to plan around. Go out with a friend at amoment's notice, stay up all night in a coffee shop (it's good practice - you'll end up pulling all nighters later in life once the baby comes, anyhow), hop in a car and drive to the next province or state with your buddies... Schedules and plans, once you are married, will have to made by two and often well in advance. The degree of potential spontaneity you have now is temporary. Treasure it!

4. Stop hanging out with only the married: You all used to hang out together when you were single, then one by one your ‘gang' marries, and you are left single. You try to hang out with them, but end up feeling like an odd ball since you're the only one in the group with no hand to hold and nothing to add to the discussions that too often circle around ‘couple issues'... It's your train to misery unless you switch tracks! Don't abandon your married friends all together - you may be among them some day; but be sure to balance your life with like-minded single friends.

5. Join a group for single Christian adults: If your church doesn't have one, find a church that does, or start one. Keeping your social life active will keep you from taking a self-pity trip to 'No-Spouse Bluesville'. While a young adult group may in fact become your ticket to ending your singleness, don't let this become your priority. Start enjoying the friendships God has blessed you with, both male and female, and seek out ways that you can be a blessing and encouragement to them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

CONCLUSION: Enjoy this time God has blessed you with; statistically speaking, if you are like most people, it will not last forever.

My Daughters: ~ Sapna Anu B. George

My Daughters:
~ Sapna Anu B. George

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I found him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped you... I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful daughter. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes... don't change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I've held your heart close to mine.

You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God. So man... treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 5 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 5 of 5:

Create a Conscious Relationship:

People fall into roles unconsciously, but you can make decisions to change, even about something as simple as who always takes out the trash. So much of what goes on is unconscious; look instead at the possibilities that exist in the relationship. Having a Conscious Relationship means relating to self through another person. That means that the other person becomes a mirror and constant source of feedback.

It’s important to talk with each other about what kind of relationship you BOTH want. The synergistic energy created when two come together is the perfect tool to work through all these old negative patterns of behavior. Two, working and living in harmony, are a powerful energy for change.

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 4 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 4 of 5:

Technique #4:

Avoid Competition in Marriage:

Couples often get into competition over who has the better deal, but a competitive attitude can damage a relationship. Rather than argue over who gets to do more, think about the relationship as a whole, work as a team.

It’s important to develop compassion and empathy for your partner. Acknowledge the other; you can always find good in the other person.

An important tool to help develop empathy is to think about your spouse's family of origin. Sometimes it’s easier to understand why someone is frugal, for example, knowing that he or she grew up poor or in a household where the parents always fought about finances.

Work as a team instead of in competition with each other!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 3 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 3 of 5:

Technique #3:

Listen to Your Partner
No one knows you better than your partner. If he or she says that you engage in a particular behavior (complaining, gossiping, snoring) at least consider the possibility.

“Don’t get defensive,” said John. “You married your partner for a reason and (your partner has) something to offer you.”

Listening to each other also provides a couple with a system of checks and balances, according to the Kaplans. Opposites attract, and each person in the relationship offers the other the opportunity to grow in the very ways that are most needed. By holding each other accountable, couples have the opportunity to receive feedback from the people they know and trust the most.

LIKE if you are a good listener!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 2 of 5

5 Techniques to Strengthen Your Marriage:

Part 2 of 5:

Technique #2

Differentiation in Marriage Is Key:

Relationships are made of individuals, with their own unique personalities, backgrounds and habits. But people sometimes complain about their spouse's differences, leading to hurt feelings and simmering resentment.

“It’s the error of assumed similarity,” said John. “We make the mistake that because I like this, you like this. Couples do this, particularly with sex, all the time.”

The key is to not only recognize your partner’s differences, but to love him or her for who he or she is. “Stop looking for what is not there and love what is there,” said Gail. For example, instead of being annoyed because your partner does things differently than you, compliment him or her on something they do well. Do not focus on the negative. Add some positivity!

5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage: Part 1 of 5

‎5 Techniques to Strengthen your Marriage:
Part 1 of 5:

Acceptance, generosity and adult conversation aren't extras in a marriage. They're essential tools to keep partners focused on one another.
Married couples need to honor one another in order to keep their bond strong. John Kaplan, LICSW, is a social worker focusing on helping couples improve and strengthen their relationships. John and his wife, Gail, LMHC, a nurse and mental health counselor, are the co-directors of Marriage Labs, a psycho-educational program for couples. According to the Kaplans, five tips for a strong marriage involve acceptance of one another’s differences and making conscious choices about how to relate to one another.

Technique #1

You Can Only Change Yourself

“Most people (in couples therapy) want to talk about how awful the other person is,” “They expect that the other person should change. We tell them to focus on themselves.”

She suggests that each member of the couple write down three things to do differently in order to improve the relationship. Simple changes, such as choosing not to nag your partner about a persistent annoyance, can make a big difference. Are you willing to change?

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 4 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating

Part 4 of 4:

The Difference in Methods:

Most practically, modern dating and biblical courtship are different in their methods. And this is where the rubber really meets the road. In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.

According to the current school of thought, the best way to figure out whether you want to marry a particular person is to act as if you are married and see if you like it. Spend large amounts of time alone together. Become each other's primary emotional confidantes. Share your deepest secrets and desires. Get to know that person better than anyone else in your life. Grow your physical intimacy and intensity on the same track as your emotional intimacy. What you do and say together is private and is no one else's business, and since the relationship is private, you need not submit to anyone else's authority or be accountable. And if this pseudo-marriage works for both of you, then get married. But if one or both of you do not like how it is going, go ahead and break up even if it means going through something like an emotional and probably physical divorce.

Such is the process of finding "the one," and this can happen with several different people before one finally marries. In the self-centered world of secular dating, we want as much information as possible to ensure that the right decision is being made. And if we can enjoy a little physical or emotional comfort along the way, great.

Clearly, this is not the biblical picture. The process just described is hurtful to the woman that the man purports to care about, not to mention to himself. And it clearly violates the command of 1 Thessalonians 4:6 not to wrong or defraud our sisters in Christ by implying a marriage-level commitment where one does not exist. It will have a damaging effect on the man's marriage and hers, whether they marry each other or not.

In a Biblical relationship, commitment precedes intimacy. Within this model, the man should follow the admonition in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 to treat all young women to whom he is not married as sisters, with absolute purity. The man should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by defining the nature and the pace of the relationship. He should do this before spending significant time alone with her in order to avoid hurting or confusing her.

He should also seek to ensure that a significant amount of time is spent with other couples or friends rather than alone. The topics, manner, and frequency of conversations should be characterized by the desire to become acquainted with each other more deeply, but not in a way that defrauds each other. There should be no physical intimacy outside the context of marriage, and the couple should seek accountability for the spiritual health and progress of the relationship, as well as for their physical and emotional intimacy.

Within this model, both parties should seek to find out, before God, whether they should be married, and whether they can service and honor God better together than apart. The man should take care not to treat any woman like his wife who is not his wife. Of course he must get to know his courting partner well enough to make a decision on marriage.

In all these ways, a biblical relationship looks different from a worldly relationship. If this is done well, Christian women will be honored, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honored and God will be glorified!

We pray someone was inspired, educated and determined to make a change for Jesus.

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 3 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating
 
Part 3 of 4:

The Difference in Mind-set:

The second major difference between biblical courtship and modern dating is the mind-set couples have when interacting with one another. What is meant by that? Modern dating is essentially a selfish endeavor. We do not mean maliciously selfish, as in "I'm going to try to hurt you for my benefit." Meaning an oblivious self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about SELF. After all, what is the main question everyone asks about dating, falling in love, and getting married? "How do I know if I've found the one?" The unspoken ending to that question is "For me." Will this person make me happy? Will this relationship meet my needs? Have I done as well as I can do? All questions based on SELF.

Selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, and therefore should not be what drives a biblical courtship. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3, NIV). It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians 5:25 gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. That means loving sacrificially every day.

Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that his every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her - a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.

In other words, modern dating asks, "How can I find the one for me?" Biblical courtship asks, "How can I be the one God has chosen for her?"

Courtship vs. Dating : Part 2 of 4

Courtship vs. Dating

Part 2 of 4

The Difference in Motive:

The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive - to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34- 35).

Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple - always with marriage in view. We are not advocating arranged marriages; rather, pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.

Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is NONE. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? ZERO. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.

Courtship vs Dating Series: Part 1 of 4

Courtship vs Dating Series

In a 4 part series, we will discuss the definition, the difference in motives, mind-set and methods of each.

Part 1 of 4

Defining Courtship and Dating:

Let's begin by defining courtship. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal.

What then is dating? Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more- than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Casual dating is a romantic linking of a couple simply to enjoy each other's company for the present. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal.

Your thoughts?

(materials taken from the Singles Ministry studies of Mt. Zion Church)

My Breakfast & Lunch

Good morning!

A good start of the day needs a healthy breakfast! I think a lot of us will agree with this statement. In Malaysia, we have a lot of choices; nasi lemak, roti canai, oats, fried meehoon, pau, lo mai kai et cetera. However, these food usually carry a lot of calories and if taken too much, will not benefit the body.

As for me, a friend shared with me about a drink mix which contain nutrients and can be filling as well. I started to take it for breakfast in June 2011 and in July, I took it for lunch as well. However for lunch, I just mix two [2] of the "ingredient" instead of three [3].

This month, I am going to have the three [3] mixes for my lunch as well =)

Why?

Please do not get me wrong, I am not here to promote the brand but I am here to share with you how I have benefited from the food I am taking.

The most obvious improvement that I could see, is my skin. Previously I had acne skin and even though I still have the occasional breakout but my complexion has indeed improved a lot. My friend who had not been seeing me for few months could see this improvement.

Just to share with you the photos =)

The Door [I]

Once I shared with my friend that life is a bus journey [I think this is not the first time I am sharing about this here] and we have a destination to reach. For instance, at age 17, our destination is to score for our Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia [SPM], and at age 22, we aim to obtain a degree in whatever course that we are doing, and the list goes on.

At this stage of my life, I have a destination to reach. There are many doors that I could open in order to reach the destination. Each door has its own unique design. One particular door attracts my attention and I aim to open to this door in order to reach the destination.

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

The door remained unopened.

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

The door is still unopened.

I try my best to get the door opened but to no avail. I am about to give up and I think I heard a reply from the other side of the door, so I decided to wait.

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

Hm, there is no reply.

Waiting patiently...

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

The door is still unopened.

At this stage, I get a little frustrated and I wonder whether I should keep waiting for the door to open or should I try other doors, which seem to have positive feedback?

Okay, everything deserves a second chance right? I continue to wait...

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

I think I heard a reply again but the door is still unopened.

One last chance, I try again...

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

Hm, no response.

Okay, I am giving up and try other doors instead!

When we cannot change the situation, we change our perception!

I am in the comfort zone and therefore not willing to change, no matter how bleak the situation is. I thought this door is the best for me and hence, I try to hang on as long as I can. I try a lot of ways to get the door opened and yet to no avail. I thought with patience, the door will open eventually but to no avail as well. Therefore, instead of focusing on that door, I should change my perception and open my mind and heart to my surroundings.

When we cannot change the situation, we change our action!

Having changed my perception, that is to be open-minded and look around the surroundings, I need to convert the new perception into action. First step, to step out of the box, move out from my comfort zone and choose another opening that could reach the same destination!

When we cannot change the situation, we change our direction!

I look here, and look there! Ah, I found another door that attracts my attention! Now with this new direction, I am heading towards the destination!

Sometimes, letting go is a better option because it can release us from frustrations, bondages, negative thinkings and emotions et cetera. When it is time to let go, we should let go willingly, because we never know, by taking a new step, new opportunites are awaiting us at other doors.

So, Weng Yin, let it go! =)

September 2011

Hello everyone! Haha, first of all, I do not even know whether anyone is reading my blog :p BUT I still like to share my thoughts and feelings here=)

It is 4th day of September today and phew, what a tiring Sunday. I slept at 01:00 this morning after a late night out with my family in Christ yesterday. We had Thai food at Sawadee 88 in Cheras. The food is not too bad and most important is the fellowship amongst the members in the family =)

I woke up early this morning as I am serving in the main service today. Thereafter I attended Bible class and gained much from it; the lesson today is about the differences between the male and females. Actually I already know these through the book I am reading, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"; but it is good to gain the knowledge from the members in the class as most of them are married, and are sharing their personal experiences.

After having some rest at home, I went to Taman Bukit Jalil to have my weekly jog. Later on, my parents and I had our dinner at a restaurant nearby and now, I am here blogging ^ ^

I am excited about this month because I am going to Singapore to visit my lovely Sister, Swee Zhi =) She is a very close sister of mine, and the reason why I wanted this trip was because I wanted to share my heart out with her. Throughout the last few months, I have been bothered by little things in life, and I just want to share it with someone whom I trust. Furthermore, I also want to relax and release stress! 

She is working in Singapore and is always busy, so it is unlikely for me to do this with her during normal days. Swee Zhi, I am looking forward to this trip :) If you are reading this, would you like to join me? Haha, yes, I am asking you :p [I have asked her permission to bring along a friend and she said yes =D]

This month is also significant because this will be my last month at a place. In July, I have set myself a dateline till end of September before I make my final decision to leave this place. It is not really my intention to leave at this point of time, but circumstances have turned out to be too convincing for me to believe that it is time to leave. Besides, I had the intention to leave mid last year and the circumstances that happened had pushed me to move out from my comfort zone.

As time goes by, the dateline is coming soon and I need to make the final decision. Throughout these few months I tried to look for reasons to stay, as well as to leave. Well, I am certain of the reason why I wanted to leave ~ for my own growth; and maybe because I have developed feelings in the place, hence I am hesitated to leave.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

Catch the tiger/monkey/baby by the toe.

So, what should I do now? It is so strange that at the moment I had a reason to leave, there comes an activity that could help me grow. Oh, at this moment I really asked God:

"Hey Jesus, what is this? I had a plan to leave last year and it is such a coincidence that everything seems to fall into place and I have already taken action to act on the plan and now comes this activity, and that is not all, my actions are heading towards the opposite direction of my mind! Oh, is this a cat catch the mouse game? No, this is not a game! This has to do with my calling, the calling that You have in me. Now Lord, please teach me what to do and show me Your light because, I do not want to have no sense of direction and I need You to lead me through."

Oh yea, that was my prayer all right and I really hope to resolve this dilemma as soon as possible. You know A.S.A.P? It stands for "smoke" in Malay; so where there is fire, there is smoke; where there is smoke, we need to act fast! So you see, I really need to act fast ~

On FB, I have recently clicked "like" on a page called "I want a Godly Marriage", and I find that the information shared on this page is very good and useful. I have shared some of the articles here because I want to read it from time to time, and for convenience sake, I just copy and paste it here :p

Hm, love, marriage, family ~ at this age, I think it is normal to think about this? Haha, obviously yes :p On this aspect, I trust God will lead me to the man He had prepared for me. A friend shared with me this and I find it logic ~ women, are the rib bone of the men, and a rib bone does not have a leg! So, the men need to go and look for the rib bone! How can a woman (without legs) run to the man? Logic? I think it is, LOL =)

In these two [2] days I have got some news regarding human life. Life is fragile, life is short ~ so why not live the present as though there is no tomorrow? If there is no tomorrow, what is one thing that you want to do? Have you thought about it? Honestly, I have not.

Now, let me think ~ would I spend the day sharing with others the love of Jesus? would I spend the day with Jesus? would I go to places that I want to go? would I want to read all the books that I have bought? would I want to spend the day with my family? would I want to hang out with my friends? would I have the courage to do things that I have always afraid to do? would I have the courage to share my feelings out?

Hm, a long list huh ~

Live the present like a precious gift that we receive; cherish every moment, appreciate every experience, enjoy every situation ~

One woman’s perspective of Love

One woman’s perspective of Love

You're my husband, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,

You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,

You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,

You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my husband, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.

- Nima Akbari -

Your Name

Your Name - Jessica Blade

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
God wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.


Thank you Lord!

My Gift From God

My Gift From God

Love is like a lump of gold,
Hard to get, and hard to hold.
Of all the girls I've ever met,
You're the one I can't forget.
I do believe that God above,
Created you for me to love.
He chose you for me from all the rest,
Because he knew I would love you best.

- Loy Bowman -

Love Quote

The way with you,I wilL never felt alone
The road with you,I wilL never felt dry
The sunset with you,I wilL never felt depressed
The life with you,I wilL never felt dulL ♥

I came across this on FB. My friend shared it and find it a nice poem to share :)

God Bless ^ ^