14 songs to describe every moment of your relationship

Inspiration can come from many places. For Peter Mills, lead songwriter and singer for We Are the Willows, a band based out of Minneapolis, inspiration came from his grandparents.

According to NPR, Miller’s latest album “Picture (Portrait)” was inspired by 350 letters his grandfather, Alvin Miller, sent to his grandmother when he was away during World War II. The letters shed a light on the relationship the two shared. Though Alvin Miller died in 2012, Peter Miller shared the album’s songs with his grandmother, who said the songs accurately described their relationship, according to NPR.

"She listened through to the whole thing," Peter Miller said to NPR. "And she said that I captured my grandpa's voice — and that she feels like she's stepping back into time and reliving these things."

Music has ties to relationships. Couples often have the illusive “our song” that is usually chosen as an inside joke, or because the words define their experiences together. Music also helps people get over breakups. A recent study from PLOS One found that sad music makes people happier after a breakup because it inspires and motivates them to get past the dark times.

But not all times are bad in a relationship. There are good times, too. Here’s a playlist of songs that describe the stages of a successful relationship.

Early romantic days: “Boom Clap” — Charli XCX

It’s one of the hit songs of summer 2014, and it’s also the perfect song to describe the flirtatious early days of a relationship. In the song, Charli XCX talks about the impact of a “first kiss” and how she wants the flirting to continue. She sings of the first date, how the new person of adoration brings light to her darkness and how her partner “makes her feel good” — all components of the early stages of a relationship.

Falling for someone: “Just the Way You Are” — Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars can belt out a sweet tune, and he definitely does this in “Just the Way You Are,” when he sings of how much he loves a woman. “When I see your face/There’s not a thing that I would change,” he sings. He’s so smitten by his partner that he doesn’t want anything to change, showing he has truly fallen in love.

Committing to a relationship: “I’m Yours” — Jason Mraz

There’s nothing more committal than telling someone you’re theirs. That’s exactly what Mraz does with this catchy 2008 tune, declaring he’s willing to do whatever it takes to stay with the one he loves and that he’s not going anywhere. “But I won’t hesitate no more, no more/It cannot wait. I’m yours,” is the perfect line to show he’s willing to commit to the relationship he’s in.

Saying goodbye, for now: “Bye Bye Bye” — NSync

Relationships aren’t always easy. Sometimes your love is headed overseas for a semester abroad, or maybe you’re separating because you want different things in life. No matter the reason for saying goodbye, “Bye Bye Bye” by NSync describes what it’s like to say goodbye to the object of your affection. “Might sound crazy/but it ain’t no lie/Baby bye bye bye,” sings the pop group, adding that all couples, at one point or another, have to say goodbye.

When they’re gone: “I Miss You” — Blink 182

This song was everyone’s middle school jam, but it holds importance in relationships. It’s about missing the person you believe you're supposed to be with. “Where are you?/And I’m so sorry./I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight,” Blink 182 sings. The singer is stuck and unable to sleep from the deep level of hurt he feels for missing the one he loves. Saying goodbye is never easy, and missing the one you love can be even harder.

Back together again: “I Go to the Barn Because I Like The” — Band of Horses

If you conquer the dark times, a relationship can resurface and you can find yourself back in the arms of the one you love. This song by Band of Horses describes the moment where a couple is showing how much they care for each other again. Imagine the scene: “And you were right./Right. You were right outside by your doorstep in a wornout suit and tie./I’ll wait for you to come down where you’ll find me, where we’ll shine.” The song is about getting over the troubles from before and committing again.

Will you marry me?: “Dice” — Finley Quaye, Beth Orton

You’re down on one knee, you’ve got the ring in your hand and you’ve just popped the question. Or maybe you’re on the other side, and you were just given the coveted question: Will you marry me? It can be a roll of the dice, a chance couples take when they want to move forward. As Finley Quaye sings with his smoky voice, Beth Orton sweetly backs him up with, “Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and swear your love is for me.”

Seeking approval from the in-laws: “Rude” — Magic!

Great, you want to get married. Better ask the parents. This song from summer 2014 talks about a boy asking his in-laws whether he can marry the woman he loves, and the father denies him — rudely. “Why you gotta be so rude?/Don’t you know I’m human, too?/Why you gotta be so rude?/I’m gonna marry her anyway.” While this may be a rude comeback to a denial, Magic! still admits that they’re all “going to be a family,” which shows the singer still values the institution of marriage.

The wedding: “Marry Me” — Train

There’s not a more defining wedding song than this one. “You’ll wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you,” Train sings. It’s a song that relays an image of a couple walking down the aisle and tying the knot, ready to spend eternity together.

Wedding night: “Colorblind” — Counting Crows

And with a wedding comes the wedding night — that special occasion where a married couple connects intimately for the first time. “Colorblind” describes that night, as the Counting Crows sing, “I am ready, I am ready” after two people have promised their lives to eachother. The song shows how special a moment this night can be.

The married life: “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own” — U2

Marriage isn’t about being alone, it’s about connecting with someone and working together. That’s what U2’s hit song describes when they sing, “You don’t have to put up a fight./You don’t have to always be right./Let me take some of the punches for you tonight.” The song ultimately shows marriage is something shared between two people, where they “don’t have to go it alone,” and can share each moment together.

We’re having kids: “Forever Young” — Youth Group

You’ve made it so far — you’re finally having kids! “Forever Young” by Youth Group is certainly a song that describes that time in your life, when you’re reflecting on the life you’ve lived and what comes next for your children.

Later in life: “The Good Stuff” — Kenny Chesney

Kenny Chesney’s smooth country song reflects on the days of a relationship, ending with how you handle life after the one you love has passed away. He describes how no matter what pains may come, a relationship is certainly worth having. “And holding her hand, when the Good Lord called her up./Yeah, man, that’s the good stuff,” he sings.

Forevermore: “Don’t Stop Believin’” — Journey

You both flirted, got together, broke up, got back together, got married and had kids. Now, it’s time to spend the rest of your lives together. Like Journey sings, don’t stop believing in your marriage and continue to live it with as much as spunk as you always have.

It’s Always Been Her: Why You Should Love The Girl Who Waited For You

Paul Hudson

Those most deserving of our love and affection are too often overlooked. But to be fair, we aren’t always aware we’re overlooking them.

People enter our lives only to later leave them. Some stay for years, others for decades, some for minutes and hours. And then, you have those very few who will stay with you for a lifetime.

Many of us are lucky enough to have parents who remain a part of our lives – if not, then maybe a brother, or sister, or cousins.

Then there are those of us with close friends who have been with us through thick and thin, friends who we often don’t even distinguish from family.

Yet, when it comes to lovers, we seem to value novelty and mystery over loyalty and dedication.

As with all things in life, if you give trivial things importance, you will come to regret those decisions.

Looking for the wrong things in a partner or giving value to certain characteristics rather than the more important ones will cause your relationship to fail.

It’s true. Sometimes we meet the love of our lives at the right time, fall deeply in love and manage to make it work. But that isn’t always the case.

Sometimes, we fall in love with someone who has been in our lives for years. She may be an old friend. She may be an old lover or ex. Whoever she is, she’s a constant, caring presence in your life.

She’s loved you for a long time.

She may not have always loved you romantically, but she is intrigued by the idea. Or maybe she’s always loved you with every bit of her being.

Maybe she fell in love with you and couldn’t get herself to stop loving you.

Maybe she tried over and over again, but was never able to find a man who would make her feel as good about herself as you used to make her feel.

This is the deepest of loves. If she’s loved you for years and years, and hasn’t been able to let go of you, it must be love.

When love stands the test of time, it grows and changes. It often loses its intensity, its naivety and becomes something more complete.

She will never leave or abandon you. You’ve become such a big part of her life – even if you two have spent years, worlds apart – that she will never lose the piece of you she carries with her.

If this is not the type of woman you’re looking for, then you don’t know what you’re looking for.

She understands you.

Most of the world is in disarray due to a lack of proficient communication skills.

People have lengthy conversations, debates even, every day without ever understanding one another.

Couples very rarely understand each other. And usually when they understand each other enough, they don’t like what they understand.

But not her. She’s known you and your ways for so long that she understands you, often much better than you understand yourself.

She sees the “you” that you either don’t wish to see or aren’t able to see. She sees all your flaws, all your weaknesses and all your beauty and strength. She sees you and understands you.

Most of you reading this aren’t yet able to understand what this level of understanding is – you’ve yet to experience it.

Believe me, you’ll know when you do. It’s the weirdest thing, but when you find someone who understands you at your deepest levels, you somehow understand him or her just the same.

Because she waited.

She’s lived her life, from the moment she fell for you, with you in mind. It’s not that she’s lived for you; she’s lived for herself.

Yet, she’s seen you in just about everything she’s done. Her present links back to her fondest memories, and it just so happens that in most of those memories, there you are.

Patience is most certainly a virtue, but this has nothing to do with patience.

In fact, there were surely times when she ran out of patience and fell to her bed crying, not being able to handle the reality she’s found herself in. She waited because she’s had no choice.

Waiting doesn’t necessarily mean sitting in place with your hands folded, and your legs crossed.

No matter what she did in life, whom she dated, whom she slept with, whom she fell in love with, you were always there in her heart.

It’s when the heart waits, when it refuses to let go, that it knows it has found something real.

Call it heart, call it mind, her entire being has decided you were too incredible to let go of.

Chances are, you feel the same – or could feel the same if you allowed yourself to.

Sometimes, we don’t take the right person for granted. Sometimes, we ourselves are struggling to forget them and move.

Other times, we are too afraid to see and act on what’s right in front of our eyes.

This is your story – you write it as you go. How it ends depends on how it begins and how it progresses. Happy endings take a lifetime to create.

Say Something

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'll be the one, if you want me to

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble & fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

And anywhere I would've followed you (Ooh-oh)

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something...

5 ways to love again after being hurt

It is difficult to open up to a new relationship after you have been hurt. For example, after a divorce, you may struggle with the idea of welcoming love into your life again.

Mayra Bitsko

It is difficult to open up to a new relationship after you have been hurt. For example, after a divorce, you may struggle with the idea of welcoming love into your life again. The fears of pain begin to resurface the moment you contemplate another relationship and you may become paralyzed from moving forward. I know the feeling all too well. Following a grueling divorce, I was completely against marriage. But as one wise woman said to me, time heals all pain. And she was right. A couple of years later, I welcomed love into my life again.

Being hurt is an unbearable feeling. You convince yourself that true love does not exist and no one will love you the way you deserve. You are prepared to throw in the towel and shut down from any possibilities of love again. It’s only natural to feel those sentiments but, the harsh reality is, a failed relationship is not the end of the world. The failed relationship was not meant to be.

Below are five suggestions on welcoming love in your life again:

1. Acceptance

You must accept the reality that the relationship is over. Holding on to a failed relationship will never allow you to move forward and find true love. Take as much time as you need to evaluate the past relationship. Revisit the good and the bad and understand why the relationship had to end.

2. Allow yourself time

Do not rush into another relationship. If you do, you are only using the new person to cover up a broken heart. It is not fair to you or the other person. The other person may be invested in a relationship based on false pretenses. Therefore, give yourself the time necessary to be alone before stepping into a brand new relationship.

3. Enjoy single life

Being single is a wonderful thing. You will learn more about yourself. You begin to have fun with family and friends. The time you spend alone will help you gain a better understanding of what type of relationship you truly desire.

4. Date again

Once you have taken the necessary amount of time to grieve and accept the relationship is over, go out. Do not hesitate to meet other people. Do not settle for the first person you set your eyes on, but give yourself the opportunity to explore and meet the right person.

5. Be open-minded

When you finally accept love in your life again, treat the new relationship as what it is — a new relationship. It’s not a good idea to start comparing your new partner with your old partner. Do not find reasons to find something wrong with your new partner simply because you are afraid that the new relationship will also fail. Embrace the new relationship with an open-mind and optimism.

Moving forward sounds easier said than done, but you owe it to yourself to love and be loved again. You should not have the mentality that the next relationship will end in despair. Enter the new relationship with an open mind and heart. Remember, a new relationship is a new beginning.

Never Settle For Someone Who Thinks Being With You Is Settling

Paul Hudson

I had an interesting conversation last night with an old friend of mine.

She’s known me for most of my life and knows my love life relatively well — so only naturally, that’s where the conversation headed.

You know, the sort of small talk you have with people you’ve known well for over a decade.

I got to telling her that, although I’m not ready to get down on one knee, I would like to be part of a serious relationship.

It’s been several years since I’ve been part of one, and I feel like at my age, it’s only beneficial.

At the very least, I could use some more practice. If you haven’t seen anyone seriously for a while, you get a bit rusty. It’s not a ritual you can enjoy on your own.

Of course, this is where my friend steps in and warns me to make sure I don’t simply settle for the next woman who walks into my life.

This actually made me chuckle a bit. Not because I think too highly of myself to allow myself to settle, but because I simply couldn’t. I’d be miserable.

I understand why some people settle; some don’t think very highly of themselves, have the courage to call it quits, others don’t yet understand what they need in a partner and don’t realize they’re making a mistake, and some feel like they’re running out of time.

But none of those reasons are good ones… except maybe the last one. You can’t fight time, I’m afraid.

The rest are things you can fix, change for the better. Settling for someone when you have other options is both stupid and depressing.

You’re putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation — one which you will inevitably regret putting yourself into.

What about when the tables are turned? What if you’re not the one settling… what if your partner is the one who believes he or she is settling?

I haven’t found myself in that particular situation before, but it sounds like a really sh*tty one to be in.

Especially if you’re actually considering settling for someone who thinks being with you is settling.

You deserve someone who understands how incredible you are.

If you don’t know you’re incredible, then that’s definitely something you’re going to want to work on first.

If you aren’t capable of appreciating yourself, then you’re almost guaranteed to surround yourself with people who don’t know how to appreciate you either.

We tend to surround ourselves with individuals who reaffirm our particular beliefs — even if those beliefs are self-hating in nature.

No person is perfect, but we all need to learn to love and appreciate ourselves first and foremost.

It’s true; some of us could use a whole lot of work — so get to work. Then love yourself for making a true effort.

We all have things to work on, but as long as we’re actually working on them, there’s nothing to dislike.

If you can’t appreciate yourself, then you aren’t ready for a relationship. If you simply have a partner who can’t appreciate you, then you need to find a new partner.

It doesn’t matter your history. It doesn’t matter how great the relationship used to be.

Unless he or she can change and learn to appreciate you and love you for you, then he or she isn’t worthy of being part of your life.

You don’t need to settle, and you definitely don’t need to be settled on.

In fact, it’s the worst kind of settling. You know this person can’t possibly love you the way you deserve to be loved.

You know he or she isn’t capable of giving you the life you want. You know you won’t be happy, not really happy because you know what you know, and you decide to settle anyway.

In the world we live in today, the possibilities and options are endless.

No matter what small town in the middle of nowhere you live in, you almost certainly have Internet access.

I literally know a couple that got married after meeting on World of Warcraft — yes, I think it’s a little odd, but who the hell am I to judge if they’re happy?

I know being alone is less than fun — believe me, I do — but no company is better than bad company.

Especially if you’re going to be spending just about every day of the rest of your life with that company.

You don’t need perfect, you need perfect for you.

You’re not allowed to settle in life. It’s what poisons the majority of first world countries these days.

It’s one thing when you don’t have a choice, when you aren’t going to meet a thousand eligible individuals in your lifetime because your circumstances will never allow for it.

This is the reality for some individuals. That’s not settling; that’s dealing with the reality you live in.

Settling is allowing yourself to do worse when you have it in your power to do better — it’s choosing a lesser life, a lesser existence for the sake of comfort. Yes, comfort.

We settle because choosing not to makes us uncomfortable, because trying to do better is too much work, because we don’t like to take risks, because we aren’t willing to accept and grow as the people we are.

Settling is living life poorly. It’s wasting your life. The only reason to decide you want to spend your life with someone is if you love that someone deeply.

Unless you find someone to be an incredible individual, a person able to show you a better version of reality, don’t do it.

You’re almost certainly ruining your life and this person’s. If you have kids, they very well may end up suffering as well.

Settling leads to unhappy marriages, and unhappy marriages tend to end in divorce — not to mention issues at home have a way of shaping a child’s childhood for the worse.

If you have the time to find someone else and still create the life of your dreams, then do so.

I know it’s scary, but you owe it to yourself to give yourself an honest chance at a happy life.

If You Really Love Someone, You’ll Never Stop Fighting To Make It Work

Paul Hudson

Love comes in many different shades of color. Whenever love exists between two individuals, it is — at the very least — slightly different than any love that existed before it, and any love that will exist after it.

Love is created between two individuals, and just as no two individuals are the same, neither can the love between them be the same, however, love is still love.

When we see it, we recognize it — no matter how many shades lighter or darker it may be than anything we’ve previously experienced.

If I had to describe love in one sentence, I would describe it as such: Love is that which we believe worth fighting for.

How much we are willing to fight for it, how much we are willing to suffer for it and give up for it lets us know how true it really is.

The only love worth having is the one worth fighting for — because anything short of that just isn’t love.

If you aren’t willing to fight for it, then you clearly don’t want it enough.

It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about life goals or lovers, if you aren’t willing to fight for them, if you aren’t willing to get your hands dirty, to go out of your way and make an effort to hold on to them, then you just don’t want them enough.

And regardless of whether it’s a goal or other, if you don’t want it enough, then you don’t deserve it.

People have many wants and urges. We often want more than is good for us — and this doesn’t change when it comes to attention or love.

We’re social gluttons of sorts. We want to be loved. We want to be taken care of. We want to feel like we’ve found our home.

Which is great, except all those things we want do little more than build us a wider comfort zone.

No one, and I mean no one, lives a happy life entirely inside his or her comfort zone. Finding someone worth fighting for drags you out of that zone and into a more eventful life.

The question is do you love this person enough to step out of your comfort zone and into the ring to fight for him or her?

If you never feel you need to fight for it, then you’re likely to get bored with it.

One of the main reasons a love worth fighting for is the only love worth having is it’s the only sort of relationship that will keep our attention for long enough.

I know this may sound a bit exhausting, but unfortunately, it’s true.

People get bored with things and individuals who don’t require somewhat regular attention.

Of course, too much attention or too much fighting tires us and makes us feel like the relationship is too much work, but a relationship that requires no energy is a dead relationship.

It’s not just about finding a love worth fighting for; it’s about finding a love we need to fight for.

Now, here’s the part that most people overlook entirely: Every single loving relationship necessarily must be fought for. It’s the nature of relationships.

All relationships, at the very least, take work. Fighting for love doesn’t always mean fighting off other suitors or making incredible sacrifices in the name of love.

Often, it’s simply making sure to make that extra effort, week in and week out, for the rest of your lives together.

It’s not a glorious battle, but it is one fought over a lifetime. And as far as wars go, a lifetime is a long time.

In life, it’s only the things we believe worth fighting for that are important to us.

Are you having trouble understanding yourself? Your life? Are you uncertain as to what you ought to do, where you ought to go, whom you ought to be? You’re not alone.

Many an individual in this world seems to be lost or confused about his or her purpose in life — it’s natural.

Especially for those living comfortable lives in which survival isn’t on the top of the priorities list, already feeling like it’s a given.

When life is good to us from the start, it can be difficult to find our place in it. It’s not our fault; it’s the way human beings were designed.

We’re survivalists who are so intelligent, many of us no longer fear the possibility of not meeting our most basic needs.

The problem with this is because we never have to fight for anything, we never understand what is worth fighting for.

This is often why loss, losing something or someone, or fighting off that loss shows us what that thing or person means to us.

Fighting may be animalistic in nature, but we are animals after all.

If you aren’t willing to fight for it, then I’m sorry… but that person deserves better.

Every man, woman and in between deserve someone who loves them so much that he or she would be willing to fight for them tooth and nail.

If you really think about it, having someone willing to fight for you, to protect you, to even fight your battles if need be, is exactly the reason human beings partnered up to begin with.

We seem to have this ingrained in us, literally needing a partner who — at the very least — we believe would fight for us if it came down to it.

Not even necessarily fight for us with fists but fight for us with the decisions they make, the way they plan our lives, the way they forgive and do all they can to keep the relationship together.

Anything else feels like abandonment. Jumping ship when the waters get rough causes the entire relationship to drown. No one deserves to be abandoned, especially not at a time of need.

If you aren’t willing to fight for the love the two of you share, then she deserves better. He deserves better. You deserve to be better.

Something Worth Sharing [I]

Saw this on FB and feel that it is worth sharing :)

BOY : Do you have a boyfriend?

GIRL : No. I don’t want a boyfriend.

BOY : Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’.”

GIRL : But I don’t love you.

BOY : 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love.”

GIRL : So how do I discern that your words are true?

BOY : Matthew 12:34 “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

GIRL : But how can I be sure that you are faithful and honest?

BOY : Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."

GIRL : But why me? There are so many girls out there.

BOY : Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all!”

GIRL : But what do you see in me, that makes you love me?

BOY : Song of Songs 4:7 " You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."

GIRL : But really, I’m not that beautiful … you’re exaggerating.

BOY : Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

GIRL : What will happen if I say yes?

BOY : Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

GIRL : How is it that you know so many Scriptures?

BOY : Joshua 1:8 “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. "

GIRL : Wooow, I can see you really love God.

BOY : Psalm 34:8 “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him!”

GIRL : Hmmm. Ok please just give me some time to think about this.

BOY : Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

GIRL : Owwww I love you already

BOY : Revelations 22:21 "AMEN." ;)

8 Reasons Why You Should Marry The Complicated Girl

Lauren Skirvin

“Why wasn’t it me?” Carrie asked the love of her life right before he married another woman. “No, seriously. I really need to hear you say it. Come on, be a friend.”

“I don’t know. It just got so hard… and she’s…” replied Mr. Big.

“Yeah.”

I know it’s clichéd to quote “Sex and the City,” but it’s still so relevant.

This episode revealed to girls like me what we’ve subconsciously known for a long time: We are the type of girls you should be with, but you don’t want to be with.

Mr. Big was probably going to finish that statement with “easy.” Natasha, his soon-to-be wife, is easy — as in, she just goes with the flow. She doesn’t get angry or challenge him to be better.

She nods and laughs and is always comfortable. She’s sweet and good-natured and lets him do whatever he wants.

Carrie is complicated. She doesn’t put up with not getting everything she deserves. She craves more from Big. She has opinions and a life and dreams for the two of them together. She sometimes argues with him at inopportune times because she’s passionate and emotional, and she cares.

Not that Natasha doesn’t care. But, she is a basic girl who wants to keep the peace at any cost, even if that means she put her needs aside. Her mind isn’t quite as analytical and imaginative as Carrie’s, so she can put up with more. She’s simple.

I am not simple. I am a challenge for any man, I will admit. As hard as I try to be the simple girl, it is just not in my nature to be one. I demand more from everyone because I see great potential.

I only want the best for myself and for my partner, so I will never just go along with some semblance of a mediocre, passionless relationship.

An unevolved man or a boy will always want the simple girl. He doesn’t want to have to work hard for anything, especially not a relationship. He doesn’t want to be challenged or confronted.

But, a real man knows that by being with a complicated girl, he will be better for it. At times, this girl can be difficult, but he knows her intentions are good. With healthy communication, the relationship will become stronger.

This is the type of girl you should marry. You may think it’s not what you want, but you want her. The easy girl will never satisfy you. She will be sweet but uninspiring. She will always leave you wanting more.

Even stubborn Mr. Big came to realize he didn’t want it easy, and he ended up cheating on Natasha… with Carrie.

Complicated girls are creative and, at times, emotional. She may also have a touch of what some people call “crazy” or “bitchy.” But, no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion.

No one will encourage you to follow your dreams. You will have many deep conversations with her that make you question your beliefs and ideas. She will outsmart you on many occasions. It won’t always be easy, but it will be more satisfying and always entertaining.

A simple girl has a simple mind. Things won’t be so hard when you are with this girl; it will be calm seas and smooth sailing. This is the type of girl you probably imagine yourself marrying, not the one who is opinionated and smart, who doesn’t always agree.

But, if you want to be the best you can be and expand your mind and capabilities, marry the complicated girl.

Marry the girl who tells you exactly what she expects and follows through.

Marry the girl who demands your respect.

Marry the girl who can talk politics, even if her opinions are different from yours.

Marry the girl whose eyes flicker with passion about a number of different subjects.

Marry the girl who won’t let you get away with slacking on your talents.

Marry the girl who pushes you to be better every day.

Marry the girl with whom you sometimes fight.

Marry the girl who is your equal or greater.

My dad always says the thing that attracted him most to my mom was the fact that she was smarter than him. Only a real man can say that and know it’s good for him.

Don’t get me wrong; a complicated girl who is not yet mature will be a pain in the ass. She will pick fights with you about everything, and you will always feel like a failure in her presence because you won’t know how to make her happy.

But, with a little experience and wisdom, this is the girl who will become wife material. And, once she’s at that point, you better never let her get away, or you’ll risk losing the best thing you ever had.

Refuel to Boost Recovery

After a long run or race, you need to refuel ASAP.

By Pamela Nisevich Bede, M.S., R.D.

No matter how long you’ve been a runner or how far you typically run, it’s likely that you’ve heard about recovery. For most runners, recovery from a workout involves stretching, hydrating, and sometimes a snack or protein shake in the hours following a cooldown and shower. But what you might not know is why recovery, from a nutrition standpoint, is essential, and how you can plan the perfect recovery from your next hard effort.

In the world of sports nutrition, recovery is the act of refueling, and it should be started within 30 to 60 minutes of workout completion, especially if you’ve got another workout lined up in the next eight hours. This 30 to 60 minute window is when your muscles are primed to take in nutrients and glycogen so that they can begin to rebuild from the stress they just endured. When designed right, a recovery meal or snack prevents further muscle breakdown, helps to optimize muscle and liver glycogen stores, and ultimately promotes desired adaptations to training. Omit this recovery meal and your body will remain in a state of breakdown, and muscle soreness in the hours and days following the hard effort is more likely.

Runners have been known to recover with a variety of foods and drinks, often dependent on what they can tolerate. That being said, there are some guidelines that should be followed in order to recover quickly and effectively.

Consider your carb sources. 

For quick and effective muscle restoration, pack your plate with foods that are high in glucose and sucrose rather than fructose. In other words, plan your recovery meal around starchy foods rather than fruits and soft drinks—you don’t have to totally avoid these items; just don’t make them your main source of carbs. As for simple versus complex, either type will promote restoration, but for best health, make your recovery meal count and choose healthy items rather than junk foods.

Choose carbs first. 

It’s difficult to refuel your muscle and liver glycogen stores without any glycogen. So be sure to consume some carbohydrate in the hour that follows your workout. If you want to get technical about it, try to aim for approximately 0.5 grams of carbohydrate per pound of body weight. So if you weigh 150 pounds, you’ll want to consume approximately 75 grams of carbs. You can find this amount in something as simple as a large bagel topped with jam and a side of pretzels. If you just can’t seem to stomach this amount of carbs, consider the next tip.

Don’t forget protein. 

Research has found that adding a small amount of protein—approximately 15 to 25 grams—to a recovery meal will speed your muscle recovery, and protein is critical if you skimp out on the recommended carbohydrate intake of 0.5 grams/pound needed to recover properly. Consuming protein in addition to carbohydrate will help repair muscles, increase the amount of protein in your muscles, and help you adapt to your training (i.e. the next time you tackle the same, hard effort, it will feel a little bit easier).

Remember to rehydrate. 

Any time you cross the finish line dehydrated, it’s important to restore hydration status as soon as possible. By adding fluids to your recovery meal and throughout the hours following exercise, you’ll ensure you recover quickly, both physically and mentally. But don’t reach for water alone—you need electrolytes too. Only when water is consumed along with foods containing sodium, chloride, and other minerals will water be retained in your system and effectively restore your hydration balance. How will you know when you’ve recovered the fluid you lost?

Easy answer: Weigh yourself before the activity and after and determine how many ounces you lost during the event. Drink that many ounces—and then some—until you recover the lost weight. If you don’t have access to a scale, another, easier tactic is to simply drink until your thirst diminishes and your urine runs a light straw color.

It's OK for women to make the first move

Do you think you have to wait for a guy to ask you out? Think again.

Eric Demeter

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Eric Demeter's blog. It has been republished here with permission.

Several years ago, a creative friend of mine, decided to reveal his romantic feelings to a certain woman. In the middle of winter, he led her to a bridge that spanned a white, solidified river. He began hurling boulders over the wall, crushing the ice and revealing the frigid water below. After each stone drop, he asked her, "What am I doing?" "I don't know," she responded warily. After several failed attempts, he finally explained to her, "I'm breaking the ice."

My friend's attempt at initiating a relationship was clearly unconventional and humorous! Yet, this seems to be the general protocol of evangelical Christian dating: a man pursues a woman while the woman waits to be pursued. It's not a bad system, per say, when it works.

But what happens when that model doesn't fit your story?

Read The most overlooked characteristic of who you want to marry

Several of my single female friends are frustrated. They see their 20's and 30's flying by without a quality relationship in sight. Their angst stems from their felt powerlessness to change to the situation. Indeed, their feelings are on standby, and it's painful for them to wait endlessly in relationship purgatory. Ugh.

What measures, then, is a Christian woman free to take when she isn't being asked out?" And, what can a woman do if she likes a certain guy but he isn't pursuing? Both questions have the same answer.

Here's the bottom line: It's my belief that women are not bound by the religious cultural norm of dating passivity. In other words, they are totally free to make the first move.

Before explaining why, let me offer a poignant conversation I had with a friend in her 30's.

Me: "Pauline, are you dating anyone?"

Friend: "No, but I like a guy."

Me: "How long have you liked him?"

Friend: "A year-and-a-half."

Me: "Does he even know you like him!?"

Friend: "No. I'm waiting for him_to ask _me out."

Me: "Why don't you let him know that you're interested?"

Friend: "I don't want to pursue him!"

Me: "Telling a guy you like him is _NOT_the same thing aspursuing him!"

Friend: "Maybe you're right …"

Can you relate?

A woman in this situation has four viable options.

First, she can accept the status quo and wait for him to ask her out. Second, she can wait and flirt with him, in hopes that these signals gain his attention. Thirdly, she can let this person go. Lastly, she can inform him of her feelings and even ask him out.

Pauline obviously chose option one, and forfeited progress in the relationship until the man pursued. But her waiting game didn't work. Instead, he began dating someone else.

Ouch.

I'm sure she's not alone. It's customary for women to take the inactive role, right? But from where does this norm originate? Scripture? Christian teaching? Secular culture?

Scripture is all but mum on the specific topic of dating. Instead, what Scripture reveals is a hodgepodge of marriage stories — many of which are a debacle. Jacob found his wife at a well, but had to work seven years for her. Widowed Ruth blatantly pursued Boaz, presenting herself at his feet. King David married Abigail after killing her husband.

Were these stories meant to be archetypes for us to follow? Hardly.

What the Bible does provide are three specific rules for Christians to adhere to when choosing a spouse:

1. Do not be yoked together with a non-Christian (2 Cor. 6:14).

2. Don't marry someone who is divorced unless there are valid reasons (Mat. 19:1-12).

3. Avoid sex before marriage (1 Cor. 7).

Outside of these commands, Scripture focuses on who to seek to marry, not how to get there with them. Spiritual and emotional maturity are paramount. The Golden Rule (Lk 6:31), the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22), and 1 Corinthians 13 are all solid litmus tests in assessing the character of a potential mate.

Inside this fence, God gave us a huge dating-yard to play within.

Ladies, let me say this plainly: It was my friend's choice to pine over this man for eighteen months. But this laissez-faire notion of dating kept her from moving forward or moving-on with a new relationship.

So this is my challenge to the stuck, single females who are passively waiting to be swept off their feet: Your ship may not come in; instead, you may need to swim out to sea and find it. Empower yourself. There's absolutely nothing unfeminine, improper, or unbiblical about taking the initiative with a guy. And it also doesn't mean you're brazen, feminist, or liberal.

It means you want to be married — and that's completely normal.

Even after going on a limb you may not get the response your heart desires. Nevertheless, isn't hearing some answer better than no answer?

To be clear: I'm not advocating for unstructured dating or androgynous relationships. There is a biblical design for marriage. If you're convicted to wait and let a man pursue then that's OK! My only point is that it takes the same faith to wait as it does to make the first move with him. It's up to you to decide how Spirit is leading.

Finally, remember the goal is to be married, not to follow a fairly-tale model of dating. Think about this: Fifty years from now when you and your husband are sitting in your rockers, playing Bingo, and eating dinner at 4 o'clock, will it really have mattered who broke the ice in the relationship?

No.

Be bold. Be brave. Change the status quo.

The Roller Coaster Ride

Have you ever been on a roller coaster ride?

It would start slow, preparing our hearts and then slowly and eventually it would pick up on its speed, the ride was getting more exciting when the roller coaster turned upside down at a high speed and before you knew what was going on, the ride began to slow down and all of sudden the speed caught up again and what a sight of relief when you finally saw familiar faces at the place where you began the ride...

Falling in love perhaps is like that too...

In the beginning when you try to get to know a person, things started slowly and naturally; and a funny feeling inside our hearts telling us that we like the person. Then we try to find out if they feel the same too. There are butterflies in our stomach. We are anxious and excited at the same time.

Then things began to progress smoothly. The feeling is just like a roller coaster ride; at least that is what LOVE is experiencing.

Every roller coaster ride would need to come to an end. When would hers be?

LOVE loves it when Pinky brings her out but each time she is afraid that that would be the last time Pinky would bring her out. What can LOVE do?

Maybe, it is time for LOVE to wake up from her fantasy...

Sometimes, she wished that Pinky would assure her and say "Silly LOVE, how could you think like that?"

Why The Hardest Goodbyes Are The Ones You Didn’t Get To Say

Paul Hudson

Closure — I didn’t really understand what that meant until recently. I’ve heard people talk about it. I’m relatively sure it’s a recurring theme amongst romantic dramas and comedies, but to me, it was some sort of abstract concept.

People have tried to explain the concept of “getting closure” to me. It’s supposedly closing the door on a relationship.

How is it done? Apparently no one actually knows. And this is when I decided I can never accept anyone else’s definition of closure — it’s a definition lacking reason.

The whole thing was rather disappointing to me, as it seemed to give those experiencing it such relief.

But how does one chase after that which he or she can’t understand? How can you look for closure when you have no idea what it is you’re looking for?

What I came to understand is that closure comes in different shapes and sizes. For some, it’s much easier.

For others, it’s much more difficult. It really depends on how close and connected you and your ex used to be.

It depends on how much he or she influenced your life and how much love you shared. It depends on how and why the relationship ended.

Lastly, but not least importantly, it depends on whether or not you actually said goodbye.

The hardest goodbyes are the ones that never actually happened — because you’re still holding on.

You’re still holding on because you’re afraid to let go.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak — unless, of course, you’re holding on for the wrong reasons. The human mind is a tricky thing; sometimes it convinces us we love those who hurt us most.

The pain and drama excites us, makes us feel more alive, more… everything.

There are, on the other hand, good reasons to hold on to someone from your past. Sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time in our lives.

Sometimes we make the mistake of not realizing how amazing he or she was and how amazing the relationship could have been.

If you dated amazing people in your past, then 1. it shouldn’t be easy to let go and 2. good for you; you should be proud.

Now the bad news: holding on to someone who has basically removed him or herself from your life will make things much more difficult for you.

The worst part is, more often than not, letting go entirely isn’t an option. This person was — once upon a time — such an incredible force in your life that he or she has become a part of you. This person is with you for good.

If you never said goodbye, never allowed yourself to let go, your mind will remain focused on the person you once loved.

You never let go because you still love him or her. It happens. But you need to — for a second — consider the possibility that the way you feel goes beyond romantic love.

That it may go beyond all those fuzzy feelings this person still manages to make you feel on occasion.

You may very well love him or her on a deeper level — a level that is separate from you and your emotions. The greatest of loves is to love another as a human being.

You should be happy you know someone whom you believe to be such an amazing individual.

The fact that you love him or her in a romantic sense does make things more exciting, but it will also focus your mind in a direction that could lead to more pain.

Regardless of whether you actually want to move on with your life or not, your mind will gravitate toward this particular individual.

Sometimes more. Sometimes less, but your thoughts will likely do so for a very long time — possibly for the rest of your days.

Learn to accept the way you feel and possibly even enjoy it. Even the saddest of memories bring with them the shadow of happier times.

The good news is you don’t need to say goodbye in order to get closure.

For me, finding closure was nothing more than coming to a better understanding of how I feel and the situation that I found myself in.

It isn’t negative or hurtful in nature. It isn’t closing the door on someone I loved. It isn’t even moving on with my life and forgetting the possibility of ever getting back together.

Closure is understanding all the possibilities, all the ways that things are likely and unlikely to work out, and accepting your life and your life choices for what they are.

Closure is accepting that things may not be over, but also that they very well may be — and it’s OK.

Feeling like you need closure is the result of indecisiveness. You’re undecided on whether you could have or should have worked harder to make things work.

It’s being undecided on where things stand. It’s being unaware of where your life will lead, and more importantly, where you want your life to lead. Needing closure is feeling lost.

We all like to make clear decisions — they give us the illusion of having control over our lives. We want to decide something and stick with it because it makes life easier.

The issue is that when it comes to love, making that decision isn’t always possible. Sometimes, no matter how many times we try to decide, try to walk away, to move on, we always reconsider those decisions.

The truth is you don’t need to decide to say goodbye. It’s pointless, really.

You can decide this or decide that, but in the end, if you still love this person, he or she will always be an option — even if not in reality, then in your mind.

If this is the case, then why not just accept that things are the way they are?

Maybe you can one day make things work. Maybe you can’t. We all have that one person in our lives whom we’d run to if he or she called our names.

Don’t fight it; live with it. Closure doesn’t need to be forgetting and moving on. In fact, it lasts a lot longer if you decide to accept that anything is possible — and then let life take you where it may.

12 Reasons To Date A Woman Who Reads

The Huffington Post | By Nina Bahadur

Filmmaker John Waters once said, "If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have any books, don’t f**k ’em."

Excellent advice.

I may be biased when I say that readers are cool, dateable people -- after all, I was the kid who brought my books to the dinner table -- but there are definite perks to dating someone who loves to read. And I don't just mean people who are interested in literary fiction and huge war histories -- loving YA vampire novels or thrillers or bodice-rippers is just as worthwhile. Really, there's nothing sexier than someone with a book.

Here are 12 reasons it's great to date someone who reads:

1. You know she’s fine spending time on her own. People who read can entertain themselves for hours without you. Yes, you might get ignored for a couple of days when the new Outlander novel comes out, but a person who can hang out with themselves and a book won't get upset when you work late. Jamie is waiting.

2. She’s empathetic. Studies have shown that people who read fiction are particularly empathetic towards others. This makes total sense -- readers can put themselves in any character's shoes. When you're reading, you're constantly empathizing, trying to understand why a particular character is acting in a particular way.

3. She's a critical thinker. She's someone you can talk through a tough decision with, and know she'll give real thought to all the moving parts. People who read havestronger analytical skills, so a reader will be better equipped to assess a situation and find the right solution.

4. She has a sense of perspective. Her crummy commute is nowhere near as bad as what's going on in The Handmaid's Tale, provided her commute did not involve being transported to a totalitarian society and forced to bear children for other couples.

5. She's easily entertained. Setting her free in a bookstore or stopping to browse at one of those streetside book stalls is her idea of heaven. All a reader needs for an adventure is a place to sit and a good story.

6. She’ll be able to teach you things. Readers accumulate a lot of random facts, and they can usually explain things in a clear, concise way. A reader is the best person to have on your team for a pub quiz, and the worst person to play Jeopardy! against.

7. She's curious. Someone hungry for more out of life -- more stories, more information, more experiences -- will keep things interesting.

8. She’s probably a good listener. Anyone who can spend hours and hours reading someone else’s stories will be just as interested in what you have to say.

9. She’s easy to buy gifts for (and we've got you covered).

10. She has a great memory for detail. Your favorite drink? Your mom's birthday? Your absolute hatred of massages? Covered. Reading improves your memory, and let's be real, it's useful to date someone who will remember to pick up toilet paper on the way home.

11. She’s involved in the world, and I don't just mean whatever fictional universe she's immersed in at the time. People who read are more likely to vote, attend cultural events and be more engaged in their communities.

12. And the best thing about dating a reader? She'll probably encourage you to pick up a book yourself, so you can reap all the benefits reading has to bring. Plus, reading next to each other in bed is so much better than playing Candy Crush.

Don't Mess With Senior Citizens.

Haha, saw this on FB and decided to share it here :p

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" 

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. 

She insisted on speaking to the Manager. 

The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have." 

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.

"We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here." 

"But I didn't go to any of those shows.." She Pleaded.

"Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, 

"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his 

standard response. 

After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. 

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. 

"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00" "That's correct" she replied "I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." 

"But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Why Staying In Dating Purgatory Is Ruining Our Shot At Real Love

Erica Gordon

Dating purgatory isn’t where you want to be if you’re in search of something real. Yet, it’s where a lot of us end up.

We also voluntarily remain in dating purgatory, no matter how awful it is, by condoning non-relationships, even though we actually want the real deal.

Our generation has accepted dating purgatory as the norm; it’s what we settle for instead of pursuing something real.

So, when exactly are we in dating purgatory? It’s whenever we have one foot out the door instead of taking a risk and jumping into a relationship with both feet. It’s whenever we keep dating someone who wants nothing serious, even though we do.

It’s whenever we keep using Tinder because we’re not fully satisfied with the person we’re dating. It’s when we’re not all in.

It’s whenever we date the “filler” guy or the “filler” girl, knowing he or she is not the one, and thinking we can do better.

It’s all those times we dated people never knowing where we stood or whether or not he or she was seeing anyone else.

It’s all those times we were in a relationship that had no label, or it’s anytime we found ourselves in an almost-relationship.

Dating purgatory is something Generation-Y has mastered, and that’s not a good thing. It’s no wonder we’re the hopeless non-romantic generation.

Deep down, we all want the real thing; we all want to find love.

We all want a supportive partner who can motivate us to aim higher, who cares deeply for us and who we can take to family events.

We all want it, and yet, we aren’t willing to do what it takes to have it.

Here are the many reasons why consistently remaining in dating purgatory is ruining our shot at the real deal:

We’re losing our “stickiness.”

I’d like to compare the serial daters of our generation to a big group of once-sticky stickers.

When we’re new, we can stick onto anything, form a strong connection and happily stay put.

However, every time we get stuck in dating purgatory by dating someone who just isn’t all in, we lose our stickiness.

Every time we participate in the hook-up culture and have casual sex, we lose more of our stickiness.

We (the stickers) get less sticky every time we engage in meaningless relationships that are going nowhere.

We get less sticky due to constantly being attached then unattached, again and again.

The problem with losing your stickiness is that each time you attempt to stick onto someone new, it gets easier and easier to pull away.

Just like a sticker that’s gotten old, we don’t form as strong connections as we once did. It becomes easier to not get attached and to unlatch ourselves emotionally.

It becomes practice to not have a real connection.

It becomes the trend to keep our mouths shut, rather than asking the other person where we stand.

Then, one day, when you find someone you just might want to stick with, you’ll wish you had met him or her back when you were less jaded and a lot stickier.

We’re in denial about what the real deal looks like.

What does the real deal look like? The real deal involves self-sacrifice. It’s giving up other options. It’s not talking to girls or guys on Tinder anymore.

It’s when you jump in with both feet and give what you’ve got a real shot. It’s when your only FOMO is the fear of losing what you have with that person.

The real deal is when you go to that event with your significant other, even though you don’t really want to go.

It’s when you’ll do anything to make your man or woman happy. It’s when you tell each other you only want each other and you don’t want the other to see anyone else.

It’s when you lock that sh*t down. It’s when you know exactly where you stand with each other.

If it’s the real deal, you’re not still looking because you know what you’ve found is unbeatable.

You’d never want to risk losing it by continuing to shop around and getting caught.

We need to start focusing on the benefits of being in a relationship, rather than mulling over the drawbacks or worrying about the sacrifices.

It requires bravery to decide you want to be committed to someone. Even if you really like this person, you’re still worried it won’t work out.

And if it doesn’t, you’ll wish you had something on the back burner; you’ll wish you hadn’t told that side-chick it’s over.

But for any chance at the real deal, you’ll have to cut ties with everyone you’ve left dangling.

We’ve gotten used to not being anyone’s priority.

We’re used to being an option rather than a priority. Some of us have never experienced what it feels like to be someone’s priority or someone’s everything.

Our generation is missing out on that feeling. We’re missing out on love.

We’re letting these undeserving people take up all of our emotional real estate with their guessing games and their bullshit.

We’re either letting them block the real deal from finding us, or we’re blocking ourselves from letting them be the real deal.

We’re not resisting mediocrity.

Our generation needs to be more resistant to mediocrity. Dating purgatory is mediocre, especially if what you desire is something real and someone who is all in.

Perhaps you stay in a non-relationship and never question what it is out of fear that the moment you ask any questions about what you are or where you stand, you’ll scare that fragile pseudo-relationship away.

You’re aware that the relationship you’re in is not stable, and you’re afraid if you so much as blow on it, it’ll be gone.

That’s why you tiptoe around the issue of “What are we?” and dance around the question of “What do you want this to be?”

We shouldn’t settle for anyone unless they step it up. If someone’s not all in and wants to keep one foot out the door, they obviously don’t adore you. If they did, it would look a lot different than dating purgatory.

We deserve better than dating purgatory, but the question is, why aren’t we acting like we deserve better? Why aren’t we demandingbetter?

We should all stay single until we find someone who is 100 percent in it with us and who we want to be 100 percent in it with.

You can have no more pseudo-relationships if what you want is a real one.

When it comes to finding love, you can’t fake it until you make it. You can’t fake it at all.