Yesterday was Good Friday,
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday...
When I was young, besides appreciating the meaning of Easter, it was also about performance. Almost every year we will prepare ourselves for the Easter performance. As time goes by, performance becomes lesser and lesser...
I was taught about the story of how Jesus died for me since I was very young; being a hard-hearted natured person, I was seldom touched because my eyes were blind, my ears were deaf, my mind was blank, my heart was as hard as a stone, my body was numb; in short, I refused to be touched, subconsciously.
I have mentioned before that sometimes I don't trust easily, or it is not easy to gain my trust; and God was not an exception. I remember when I was at my early teenage years I attended a camp, a sister was crying telling me God was great that He sacrificed Himself for us but at that moment, I could still remember clearly that my mind was clear, my heart was not touched despite the strong presence of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps, I am a rational person and my rationality overcomes my the emotional side of me...
I guess I did not really have any personal experience with God, hence I could not feel how much He loved me. I remember the first time I cried was at the age of 13, just few weeks before turning to 14. At that time, we were having a gathering at a sister's house and when I reached home, as I prayed, tears just rolled down and all I felt was JOY.
Although I do not feel attached to Him, God is LOVE. At Form 3, in a church camp, He gave me a vision - His hands holding mine very tightly, telling me, He will be my best friend forever :)
I never worried about my studies because I know that God is always there for me and He will guide me and lead me through. Haha, maybe age was catching up; during the second year of my undergraduate, I did not sleep on the night before my exam. Initially I just wanted to take a short nap and whilst I was doing so, I listened to gospel music. Indeed, God did not leave me alone. Holy Spirit came and touched me and I was enjoying His presence for about 1 1/2 hours. At that time, I felt PEACE. [My mind was blank the next day and I had no idea what I 'goreng', very much afraid that I would fail that paper, God's GRACE is always sufficient - I passed! Hallelujah!]
Over the years, God had touched my life greatly. Each time I am turning my back, He is always there to hold onto me. Recently, I felt touched again...
I attended an Easter musical drama on Good Friday. To my own surprise, I was touched by God once again. Today, subconsciously I looked back to the activities that I previously took part in, I must say, I miss Him, I miss serving Him.
PATIENCE is what I need to wait for His time; WISDOM is all I need to walk the rest of my journey; COURAGE is what I need to face all circumstance; COMFORT is what I need when I feel down; FAITH is all I need to continue my journey with Him because I TRUST that He will hold my hand till eternity...
Dear JESUS,
I thank You for Your unconditional LOVE; for I am saved because of YOU. Please show me Your light so that I will always be walking on the path that You have prepared for me. Please guide me with Your wisdom. Lord, I need You and You are the only one I need. I pray for your presence everyday.
In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday...
When I was young, besides appreciating the meaning of Easter, it was also about performance. Almost every year we will prepare ourselves for the Easter performance. As time goes by, performance becomes lesser and lesser...
I was taught about the story of how Jesus died for me since I was very young; being a hard-hearted natured person, I was seldom touched because my eyes were blind, my ears were deaf, my mind was blank, my heart was as hard as a stone, my body was numb; in short, I refused to be touched, subconsciously.
I have mentioned before that sometimes I don't trust easily, or it is not easy to gain my trust; and God was not an exception. I remember when I was at my early teenage years I attended a camp, a sister was crying telling me God was great that He sacrificed Himself for us but at that moment, I could still remember clearly that my mind was clear, my heart was not touched despite the strong presence of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps, I am a rational person and my rationality overcomes my the emotional side of me...
I guess I did not really have any personal experience with God, hence I could not feel how much He loved me. I remember the first time I cried was at the age of 13, just few weeks before turning to 14. At that time, we were having a gathering at a sister's house and when I reached home, as I prayed, tears just rolled down and all I felt was JOY.
Although I do not feel attached to Him, God is LOVE. At Form 3, in a church camp, He gave me a vision - His hands holding mine very tightly, telling me, He will be my best friend forever :)
I never worried about my studies because I know that God is always there for me and He will guide me and lead me through. Haha, maybe age was catching up; during the second year of my undergraduate, I did not sleep on the night before my exam. Initially I just wanted to take a short nap and whilst I was doing so, I listened to gospel music. Indeed, God did not leave me alone. Holy Spirit came and touched me and I was enjoying His presence for about 1 1/2 hours. At that time, I felt PEACE. [My mind was blank the next day and I had no idea what I 'goreng', very much afraid that I would fail that paper, God's GRACE is always sufficient - I passed! Hallelujah!]
Over the years, God had touched my life greatly. Each time I am turning my back, He is always there to hold onto me. Recently, I felt touched again...
I attended an Easter musical drama on Good Friday. To my own surprise, I was touched by God once again. Today, subconsciously I looked back to the activities that I previously took part in, I must say, I miss Him, I miss serving Him.
PATIENCE is what I need to wait for His time; WISDOM is all I need to walk the rest of my journey; COURAGE is what I need to face all circumstance; COMFORT is what I need when I feel down; FAITH is all I need to continue my journey with Him because I TRUST that He will hold my hand till eternity...
Dear JESUS,
I thank You for Your unconditional LOVE; for I am saved because of YOU. Please show me Your light so that I will always be walking on the path that You have prepared for me. Please guide me with Your wisdom. Lord, I need You and You are the only one I need. I pray for your presence everyday.
In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.
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