Friday, 19 February 2016

From a Gynaecologist to a full time housewife..

https://drumablog.wordpress.com/2016/02/17/from-a-gynaecologist-to-a-full-time-housewife/

Nothing prepared me for this! And i mean, nothing!… I am an adrenaline junkie kinda gynaecologist, working in the third busiest hospital in the country. And guess what? I love it! My typical day starts with morning briefing at 8 am, then rounds in the wards and Labour room. In between rounds, we have bleeding cases, babies stuck during delivery, instrumental deliveries, bad perineal tears, critical cases in red zone.. u name it! I even have to run up to the operating theatre if there was a difficult case. And I could handle it all. We have a great team in my hospital. It is extremely tiring, but we work to save lives and only that matters. Then, I got pregnant. We were very happy, my husband and I. We were after all planning this for some time. I had a rather smooth pregnancy. I was still very active at work. I was still doing my duties as usual, and was on call till 36 weeks. Being the only specialist on call in this hospital was not easy, but I did it. Imagine handling all of the above single-handedly. I even managed to organize a departmental bowling tournament and an overnight treasure hunt trip to Port Dickson at term. Along the way, i decided to take a 6 months long maternity leave to be with the baby. I thought I would also need a break after working for so long and suffering through my first pregnancy during my postgraduate studies.

Zara was delivered via elective caesarean section. She was the most beautiful thing i ever laid my eyes on. Day 1 of caesarean section was difficult. I experienced a lot of pain at the scar site despite analgesia. I was discharged the next day. At home, i was struggling postpartum as my mum was away and my sisters were afar. My husband was my only help, trying his best to settle down and take care of the elder one. I was struggling with breastfeeding and Zara was frustrated and crying all the time. I thought i knew it all, being a gynaecologist and going through some 20 hours of breastfeeding course. Boy, I was wrong. Theoretical and practical knowledge were 2 different entities. When i brought Zara back for checkup after a day, she had severe jaundice requiring double phototherapy. I was crushed. I thought i did all the right things. I wasn’t producing much milk and that made matters worse. Still, i kept pumping and gave Zara every drop of breastmilk I had. I was reading and trying everything I could to boost milk supply but nothing worked. I kept on pumping and started Domperidone to help with my milk supply.

Zara thankfully recovered from her severe jaundice, thanks to the dedicated team of nurses at UMSC Wad Dahlia. We were back home, but this was just the beginning. I had to deal with my elder son, take care of a newborn and manage the household chores, with a caesarean scar. Oh, did I mention I had no domestic helper? The amount of work and the toll it took on me was absolutely unexpected. I was struggling with milk supply and a newborn who just latched the whole night. For me, this was so much harder than my 36 hour calls with 5 emergencies in a row! I could handle that, but this was way tougher. And yes, i wasn’t prepared.

How could anyone be a full time housewife/stay at home mum? I realized that this was not for me. Yes, i could cut open a woman, deliver a baby and stitch her up in 20 minutes, but i can’t handle the cleaning, sweeping, laundry, cooking and 2 screaming kids. Its way too much. I wonder, how do you mums do it? And as I near the end of my 6 months maternity leave, I hate to admit it, but I’m smiling, relishing my duties as a gynaecologist and a surgeon. To all stay at home mums, i give u, my standing ovation.

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

愛我還是他 David Tao


We just keep quiet in the darkness
You wanted to go back but I dont want u to
Loneliness is as deep as the sea until it scares people off
Your soft hand strokes through my hair lightly

Your eyes tell me that you want me to hug you
But your body is trying hard to avoid when hope rises again

You love me or him/her, Is it true he's/she's better than me
Who are you fighting for
You love me or him/her, Just say out whats in your heart
Are you following me or him/her
Love love love him/her

This is not our punishment in life
I cant love u I cant hate u
Stuck at here, Just want to get out of it
Try to pull your hand but I'm being pulled down by u as well

Your eyes tell me that you dont want me to hug you
Each time our love gets rocky, you will begin to avoid 

You love me or him/her, Can I do better
So that you will fight no more
You love me or him/her, I'd rather hear the cruel answer
Than being fool on

You love me or him/her, I try to find a hundred excuses for u
I am that foolish
You love me or him/her, Is it silence replaces your answer 
I think I should understand

Yeah, Love me or him/her
You do not see any future in us anymore
Who am i still fighting for
You love me or him/her, Is it silence replaces your answer
We dont deny it anymore, Go ahead & love him...


黑暗中的我們都沒有說話
你只想回家 不想你回家
寂寞深的像海太讓人害怕
溫柔你的手 輕輕揉著我的髮

你的眉眼說 你好渴望我擁抱
你身體卻在拼命逃 當慾望在燃燒

你愛我還是他 是不是真的他有比我好
你為誰在掙扎
你愛我還是他 就說出你想說的真心話
你到底要跟我還是他
愛愛愛他

這是不是命運對我的懲罰
愛你也沒辦法 恨你也沒辦法
陷在這個漩渦只想掙脫它
拉住你的手 卻讓我也被拖下

你的眉眼說 你不渴望我擁抱
每當愛變成了煎熬 你就開始要逃

你愛我還是他 是不是我可以做得更好
而你不再掙扎
你愛我還是他 我寧願聽到殘忍的回答
也不要再被耍

你愛我還是他 我為你找了一百個理由
我就是那麼傻
你愛我還是他 是否沉默代替你的回答
我應該明白吧

YEAH 愛我還是他 喔
你都已看不到我們的好
我還為誰牽掛 喔
你愛我還是他 是否沉默就是你的回答
我們都別掙扎 去愛他


Monday, 11 January 2016

You Owe Her The Love She Deserves



I sit there next to her, rubbing her back, as she’s sobbing on her bed. I tell her everything will be okay, but I’m not sure it really will be. Tears are pouring down her face and she can barely put together a sentence. I hate seeing her like this because she doesn’t deserve it. She lifts her head slightly up out of her hands and looks at me. She doesn’t understand how he isn’t sure if he loves her back.

She loves him so much. You can tell in the way she talks about him. The way she says his name. You can tell by the way she says, “I love you” over the phone and the way her eyes light up when he texts her.

But he doesn’t know if he loves her and it’s slowly killing her.

She doesn’t want to let him go, it’s been so long and she still insanely in love with him. She isn’t comfortable or settling, her heart still aches for him.

But he doesn’t know if he’s still in love with her.

He doesn’t compliment her or act like she’s one of the most important things in his world. He doesn’t support her or cherish her. He doesn’t brag about her to his friends, and he should. He should do all those things and more. Instead he acts uninterested. He acts like he doesn’t care. He acts like it wouldn’t matter if she were in his life or not. But he won’t let her go.

It’s not just breaking her heart, it’s breaking mine. You can only tell someone they deserve better so many times. But it’s not my life and it’s not my heart that’s passionately in love with someone who doesn’t know if they love you back, and that’s the hardest part.

If he doesn’t love the way her face lights up with she finds out exciting news, he should let her go. If he doesn’t love the way she mumbles the wrong words to her favorite song, let her go. If he doesn’t love the way her hair falls naturally, let her ago. If you don’t take pride in her work, let her go. If you don’t feel inspired when you roll over at 5 a.m. and see her, he should let her go.

She deserves so much more than that.

She deserves someone who will love how she laughs so hard she’ll cry. Someone who will love her so deeply that his heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest. Someone who laughs with her when she burns dinner for the second night in a row and decides pizza is better anyways. Someone who knows she’s smiling when she’s covering her mouth just by looking at her eyes.

If you can’t love her whole-heartedly all the time, let her go, because someone else will.

Someone will love the way she scrunches her nose and the look she gives when she wants to go home. Someone will love listening to her stories she tells at the end of her day. Someone will love helping her accomplish her goals and standing by her side when she succeeds. Someone will love the way she is happy and wants him there, but also love the way she is sad and needs him there.

Don’t be selfish with her, because she deserves so much more than that. Being with someone you don’t love is cruel, especially when you know she loves you. It’s holding her back from being free and finding real love. It’s holding her back from growing as a person and making herself happy. It’s holding her back from moving on.

Show her how much you love her when you’re with her, not when she’s moved on.

Because someone will love how the sound of her voice makes his bad day disappear. Someone will love hearing her name in conversation. Someone will want her being the last person he sees at night when he goes to sleep and the first person he sees when he wakes up in the morning. Someone will be proud to show her off. Someone will love her every second of everyday.

Someone will love her for her.